blog mocking art imitating life

i track my starbucks visits. not the number or frequency, but the locations. i know i'm not the only one! which makes this even funnier: that is priceless.

"we will have these moments to remember..."

istanbul (not constantinople)

today i am turkeying and gobbling. this is about the tenth turkey i've ever prepared, and it's always a bit of an adventure. i love the whole process, with the possible exception of the stress over whether the bird will be thawed out in time.

i love dicing apples.
i love mincing celery.
i love plumping raisins.
i love watching the stuffing swell.
i love whipping up butter and sage.
i love using my digital meat thermometer.
i love peeling back the tin foil.
i love wearing an apron.
i love eating the final product.
i love remembering all the thanksgivings, christmases, and easters past for which i made turkey, and thinking of the friends who sat around that feast with me!

i still don't know how to carve the turkey or make a gravy i'm really happy with, but... yay! it's turkey day!

i think i'm going to put on "white christmas" while i wrap a couple of gifts and wait to unveil my masterpiece!

an ode to ginger(s)!

after watching with interest for quite some time, i've taken myself off the bench (and dared a few friends to join me) by participating in the sweetest kitchen's mystery box cupcake challenge! this month's featured ingredient is... ginger!


to be honest, i was very tempted to recreate my ginger-matcha sushi cake from birthday 2009. it was delicious, innovative, and fun to look at. besides, the wasabi icing blew my mind! but as i wandered around bulk barn, looking for cupcake-sized sushi ingredients, i was conscience-striken. the whole point of this was to try something new!


so i thought about ginger. and then i thought of gingers! having decided that my cupcakes would be an edible tribute to redheads both real and fictional, the perfect ingredient with which to pair the ginger instantly sprang to mind: carrots!

i scoured the underworld of the internets, bravely seeking a carrot-based cupcake that would defy expectations of carrot-cakey-ness! to no avail! in the end, i had to resort to adapting and tweaking to make these cupcakes masterpieces!

get these dry things:
- 2 cups all-purpose flour OR 2 1/4 cup cake flour
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1 tsp crushed cloves (ask your mom to mortar & pestle these for you. she's prolly tops!)

get these wet things:
- 2 large eggs, room temperature
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 1/3 cups sugar
- 1 cup melted butter
- 1 large carrot, chopped, steamed, and then pureed with 1/4 cup buttermilk

la piece de resistance: ginger chunks in cane sugar syrup chopped up into minichunks!

do this:
- preheat oven to 350
- combine dry ingredients and whisk
- in another bowl, combine wet ingredients and whisk
- pour the wet combo into the dry combo (i'm still not sure why) and stir ten times
- toss in ginger chunks and stir a few more times
- fill cupcake liners 2/3 of the way up
- bake for 20-25 minutes, turning halfway through
- cool
- frost!
- decorate!!
- serve!!!

here i am with my favourite ginger:

and that was my tribute not only the delicious and versatile ingredient that is the ginger root, but also to the carrot-haired among us, from conan to ariel, from archie to anne of green gables, from my older sister to my younger brother-in-law, from pippi longstocking to my boyfriend.

if you like what you see, please vote for my entry in the sweetest kitchen's contest!
the winner of november’s mystery box cupcake challenge will receive prizes from:

• Bake It Pretty; a $5 electronic gift card
• Beanilla; Tahitian ground vanilla & 3 Mexican vanilla beans
• Hello Hanna; a pack of Sweet Stands cupcake stands
• Miss Kitty Creations; a handmade cupcake charm of your choice
• Simply Caked; 600 brown greaseproof cupcake liners
• Sweet Cuppin Cakes; a prize pack worth $25
• Tundra Books; a selection 3 very sweet children's books

merci beaucoup to all our prize sponsors!

2421 sunrises and sunsets

welcome to my 500th post! this milestone will be commemorated with a nod to the main genres of blogpost we have seen here at "can you hear the sound of laughter..."

the mundane (yet somehow bizarre):
i was just stung by a bee in my basement. at just after midnight. while i was trying to iron my shirt. on my left ring toe. no - i wasn't trying to iron my shirt on my toe... that's just where the bee stung me. this probably means i'm in for a feverish dream.

the momentous:
today i graduate for the fourth time in my life, and officially add the letters "m.a." to the end of my name - instead of just the beginning. there's an awful lot of hard work buried in those two little letters! finishing things is so good!

the miraculous:
michelle and idris are joining my parents in the audience at the convocation ceremony, and all four of them are making significant sacrifices to be there. i am loved, and i know it.

the mmmm:
there will be caramel crunch cake and champagne when we come home tonight! yum and sigh.

the musing:
what's next?

:)

from way across the ocean, my little sissy asked me why i was smiling. in response, i offer this partial list of my reasons for glee:

- haircuts
- sushi
- defenses and convocations
- job postings and auditions
- pub trivia successes
- a mom who takes care of me when i sacrifice part of my finger to the mandolin* gods
- a boyfriend who listens and is teaching me when to stop talking
- friends who have big! changes! going on in their lives
- the impending return of little sissy and her husband!
- seeing nyc for the first time soon
- big sissy's wedding in june!
- cats
- diet coke
- phone calls with michelle
- apples and peanut butter
- a pink sweater
- dibs

oooh... dibs! see ya!

* the vegetable slicer, not the musical instrument

poirot's investigations

genre books tend to get a bad reputation, on account of appearing superficial. but the more agatha christie i read, the more i see important psychological and sociological insights in her writing. "appointment with death" has more to do with dysfunctional families than with sleuthing. the murder seems entirely incidental to the story. and it's not just the mystery genre - or, indeed, just christie - that works this way. if verne and wells are any indication, science fiction is likewise a means of dissecting sociological/political themes.

anyway, one well-documented characteristic among the more interesting fictional detectives is that they're sort of rogues - their relationship with the established process of law enforcement is a precarious one. holmes, poirot, marple, and even house all fall into that category. i haven't read enough of arthur canon doyle's work to say if this part is also ubiquitous, but it is absolutely fascinating to me how often in hercule poirot's "practice" the murderer manages to escape charges by committing suicide, suffering from a terminal illness, or ending up in a fatal accident. agatha christie just didn't seem all that interested in legal procedure, though the importance of justice was underscored in all her mysteries. indeed, she gave tacit (and sometimes reluctant) approval to vigilante justice in at least three of her novels.

i've been collecting the poirot books for years now, and when i got to 24 out of 39, i realized that the editions i wanted were no longer in print. i'm determined to get all the titles, one way or another, in close-to-similar-editions. my most recent acquisition was "dumb witness" which involves a posthumous letter, a rich spinster, and an adorable dog named bob.

owned
read
missing!

The Mysterious Affair at Styles (1920)
Murder on the Links (1923)
Poirot Investigates (1924)
The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (1926)
The Big Four (1927)
The Mystery of the Blue Train (1928)
Black Coffee (1930)
Peril at End House (1932)
Lord Edgware Dies (1933)
Murder on the Orient Express (1934)
Three Act Tragedy (1935)
Death in the Clouds (1935)
The A.B.C. Murders (1936)
Murder in Mesopotamia (1936)
Cards on the Table (1936)
Death on the Nile (1937)
Dumb Witness (1937)
Murder in the Mews (1937)
Appointment with Death (1938)
Hercule Poirot's Christmas (1938)
Sad Cypress (1940)
One, Two, Buckle My Shoe (1940)
Evil Under the Sun (1941)
Five Little Pigs (1942)
The Hollow (1946)
The Labours of Hercules (1947)
Taken at the Flood (1948)
Mrs McGinty's Dead (1952)
After the Funeral (1953)
Hickory Dickory Dock (1955)
Dead Man's Folly (1956)
Cat Among the Pigeons (1959)
The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding (1960)
The Clocks (1963)
Third Girl (1966)
Hallowe'en Party (1969)
Elephants Can Remember (1972)
Poirot's Early Cases (1974)
Curtain (written about 1940, published 1975)

also posted at diet of bookworms.

cinq

five little updates:
1) the only laptop keys that still won't work are x, g, and one of my shift keys, with v bein' occasionally stubborn. gonna give it a week before decidin' what to do. a whole lot of my verbs are now soundin' southern. :)
2) reelin' from thinkin' way too much about gender politics. this semester is gonna hurt.
3) went to wendy's for lunch with my two department colleagues... so now i miss the quartet so very much. the theology girls, too, but i miss the guys more acutely because jamie and nathan are both (gentle?)men.
4) something, whatever, let's move on to #5 because...
5) cori and james set a date! feel free to send them a wedding pi(e)! :D

to celebrate, i'm off to reheat sarmale and read more about women in the early church...

10x1000=2008

joy!

"it's not a party if it happens every night"
beg your pardon, postal service, but recent experience suggests the reverse.

things i'm celebrating:

a) getting a degree. because it's cool, but also because i finally really finished something. aces.
b) getting into grad school. because i can start making decisions and new mistakes.
c) spring. because it's warm(er). and rain, green, and flowers are good. and sun, too. sun is good.
d) going for walks with nancy, pat, kevin, and mike... going to tim hortons and listening to music and swinging and greeting strangers with them. 'cause wow.
e) staying in touch. it rocks my little world.
f) sushi and cake. four days in a row!!! (pretty sure the streak ends tomorrow)
g) getting through a mother's day without bad tears!!!! potentially the first time ever.
h) vegetables. i like them. i always have. which brings me to...
i) my parents, for better and for worse.
j) matcha. 'cause yum.
k) closure. because freedom is sweet.
l) is for the way you look at me... i mean... no that works, too. i'm celebrating unspoken things.
m) purple (toe)nail polish. do i even have to explain?
n) mangos and avocadoes. see above.
o) is for the only one i see... finding God in the midst of bewilderment and hurt and beauty.
p) touch. (angie! i miss you!!!)
q) poetry. in motion or standing still.
r) time set aside for people i care about.
s) the chance to go back to romania in two months. and to hit italy on the way.
t) rivers, oceans, lakes, and water in general.
u) nostalgia-inducing music. particularly oasis, rick astley, cranberries, and counting crows.
v) the human body, which is among the most beautiful things i've ever seen.
w) growth. my hair and my heart and my to-read list.
x) new things i'm going to see and hear and learn tomorrow.
y) because we like you.
z) sleep :-)

in love

when you love, say not that God is in your heart
say rather that you are in the heart of God

part i: odd

ross' gift: the trophy, the note, and the necklace.
finishing my paper.
scrabulating with dave.
a pig and a phone call from michelle.
listening to "did galileo pray?"
finding words to pray.
laughing at myself.
making a card with pat.

i started this day feeling so weird. once the tired faded, i still couldn't place the strangeness within. i went about my business, administering meds, drinking my shake, looking at the paper... and then it suddenly occurred to me: i think i'm happy.

it's happened again since. and jiminy finally synchronized himself to me and hummed vivaldi's spring (allegro) in my ears. and it was just right.

part ii: i don't know what kind of girl i am

lying on the couch, so tired that my eyes hurt. bringing my sore lids together... and in the darkness hearing pat butter her toast. what a lovely sound: a knife scraping against crisp bread. somehow beautiful.

parting from cori and james with "juno" in my mind, damp cheeks, and a full heart. knowing the blanket i'm making will keep them warm.

part iii: awed

watching the candidates' debates and realizing that the things people care about are simple: making ends meet, taking care of their children, good roads, good food, and the freedom to choose their path. in the course of looking out for all that, our government has to think about the implications of bhutto's assassination, the development of alternative fuels, and the fate of every worker in china.

and God's like that, too: the things i care about are small and important. it is for Him to reflect on the enormous and important. the two are not as discreet as all that, though. they're deeply connected, which is why God invites to me to gaze beyond my own needs, into eternity. giving someone a cup of water has something to do with scores of angels reciting the triagion in united worship.

all that I promise is strength for this day,
rest for my worker
light on your way
I give you truth when you need it,
My help from above
undying friendship, My unfailing love

picking out which prayers to use tonight, i quickly chose the ones to be prayed before reading scripture and before sleep, but hesitated over the one to be prayed after work. "did i work today?" i asked myself. somehow that question feels like a very good sign.

like, somehow, rest and contentment can be found in the midst of much responsibility. wait, not just "can be found"; are found, even by me! seriously!

pick a road, decide
[are you] a plane or a train or a bride?
decide, decide...
Your love makes me move at the speed of trees...

i'm so in love.

when you love, say not that God is in your heart
say rather that you are in the heart of God

wonder nine

michelle reminded me of last reading break when we went to starbucks and knitted (knot?)... finally, when hunger got the best of us, we headed out. there was snow on her car and we cleaned it off together. at chianti's, we kept knitting. i think we spent eight hours together that day. she asked me if i reflected on days like that with sadness, given the surrounding circumstances.

remember when everything was hard and you were there? the context doesn't taint the memories, it makes them more precious. when i think about all the craziness, all the hurt, all the struggle... and i remember that you were there, it makes everything go hazy and beautiful.

kristin, amanda, michelle... showing integrity and clinging to one another when giving up might have been easier.

ross and kevin... struggling to hope together, learning to be honest with each other.

jen and biscuit... coming home to something safe and nurturing, knowing i have an advocate and a cuddlebuddy (respectively).

i'm struck by the goodness in my life. the strength and compassion you showed. you babysat me, you trusted me, you shared your life with me. i value that so very much.

wendy's, blizzards, and hot beverages make me miss you in a way i can best describe in romanian: ustura. or, to put it the way lars did, "like a burn. like when you go outside and your feet freeze and you come back in and then they thaw out? it's like that. it's almost exactly like that."

it's the kind of pain i embrace, though, because it reminds me how very, very rich i was last year. it's not even bittersweet anymore... just sweet.

thank you.

eleven minutes with antonio

my ipod can usually figure out what i need to hear. i hit shuffle and it takes over. this morning we had to work together... neither of us knew what fit. finally, the second movement of vivaldi's spring (largo) accompanied the lyrics playing out around and inside me as i sat in queen's park. 11:33 of beauty.

the green paint of the picnic table peels away to let me read the carved initials. there's a spray-painted stenciled prayer: "love and wisdom to you." i echo the request and take my seat. joggers and busses and traffic and a man sitting on a bench 50 meters away, rocking. the dark tree trunks speak of a depth and richness i long for. so real, so concrete. their limbs spread overhead, a symphony of green. peaking through, a sky that glows with blue and white. so good. so very, very good.

vivaldi didn't include wind rushing through drying leaves in his orchestration, to say nothing of the rumble of the subway underfoot. i'm not sure he'd object, though. do the vibrations of the subway affect the trees here, i wonder? every three minutes or so, the roots dance, for better or for worse. are they stronger for it? or do they long for stability and stillness?

strange how a piece about spring fits so well with fall... especially on a university campus. fresh starts: new friends, new lessons, potential that just makes you ache. i think about how i love the smell of autumn, but realize it's the smell of decay. "but," i reflect, "it's death that paves the way for new life." maybe Christian spirituality is about choosing that death over the other kind - the kind that sticks.

do i use the word "beauty" too often? should i guard it so it becomes more sacred, more meaningful? thing is, i don't want to fail to recognize that which *is* truly beautiful... what if God is in the ordinary and life is beautiful and i love being soaked by rain and having the wind play with my skirt and imagining that i am not alone, after all? what if "sacred" doesn't mean "rare"?

i think about what i'm thinking about. how i'd write it. are we really who we are when we write? why am i not like this when i order my london fog or shop for shoes or run for the bus?

sigh.

i let my hair fall on my shoulders and watch and listen and rumble with the subway. i wrestle with impatience. i wonder if there will be a time in my life when this is a priority: when sitting and being (except without thinking so much about it) will come naturally and frequently. when i'll have someone to sit beside. but no talking. just being.

i've only ever shared a moment like that with one person. under a full, smokey moon, we stood, humbled and silent. maybe sharing wonder is the height of intimacy. not talking about it later, like i do here, but living it, together.

winter quotables 2007

i never realized how good looking you were until i met your family!
~michelle

you should invent a teleporting machine... well, you did ask people to give you advice for what to do next!
~kevin

mara: he had good looks... lots of good looks...
deniss: aaaall over his face!

i don't eat ice cream because it's good for me.
~darcy

mara: he cried yesterday.
ross: that's 'cause he's a man.
mara in her head: i love that we both know that's not at all sarcastic.

nooo waaaaaaaaaaay!
~exclaimed by jen repeatedly, as she discovers the wonders of facebook

i don't know very many wise people who quit.
~brett

the bible is trying to move people from a deeply unjust context to a profound equality.
~mara

we can't even imagine the hope we have.
~steve

i've experienced world peace... it's worth it! we should bring it to this planet!
~michelle

mara: we can pretend to be married.
ross: we totally can. i just have to take mara for granted more.

no, steve isn't a good guy because he's my friend.
~ross

life is short; why live in the snow?
~dr. knudtson

ah, gregory of nyssa... great guy... great poet... a bit of a whiner, though.
~dr. mealey

that's so WRONG-AH!
~jen, making fun of my hard g's

little children will suffer if you don't take care of yourself.
~jen

he is as spiritual as a chair.
~deniss

there is beauty in the world even when my bus is late.
~mara

mara, you should have married my wife.
~kevin

that saint francis, he had his ducks in a row... literally.
~jen

it's not me; it's us.
~kristin

what kind of girl are you?! you have no power of manipulation!
~steve

oh, you're soft... and sparkly! you are everything i like.
~faith

those who don't have time to study call themselves "biblical Christians."
~prof. hyatt

i will fight brian mclaren in a steel cage.
~ross

why is satan so good in bed? i'd think he'd be really inconsiderate.
~steve

i'm not sad, i'm complicated. chicks dig it.
~house

just the way you look tonight...

warning: incomplete group shots ahead!!!
um, where's amanda?

there she is! along with the rest of the theology girls! we look soooo good!!!

sadly, ross was permanently missing. and you know what that means! photoshop-ing fun is just around the corner!

tea and sympathy... and something real

in real life, and not just on the interwebs, people challenge me to think about what i believe. today i shared hot beverages with one such person. we spoke about the bible and salvation and knowing God - and i know that sounds like the typical fare. but it wasn't, you know?

it was something beautiful.

i think it may soon be time to start searching for a microphone. i suspect that i may soon have something to say.

quotables 2006

i'm not sad, i'm complicated. chicks dig it.
~house

mom: you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you marry one!
dad: i married a frog-kisser!

the belief that God became man in birth, suffering, and death is the ultimate mindf*ck. can i write that on the exam?
~ross

there are windows!
~kristin and mara, in the worst ever response to a proposition

ah, [evangelical complementarian] Christianity . . . the perfect balance between new age and islam.
~steve

getting dressed will make me late . . . but it is SO important.
~michelle

i always suspected that the promised land was outside this classroom.
~dylan

let's not reflect on anything, because then we might be responsible for how we live our lives!
~jen

and you probably weren't baptised into an ethiopian restaurant.
~priest at st. peter's orthodox church

i believe in an invisible man in the clouds . . . everybody cry now!
~steve

it just makes you want to get drunk and sleep with someone random so you can enjoy your wedding night.
~mara

is islamic a language?
~kevin

that's beautiful . . . in two minutes you convinced me to be a democrat.
~deniss

if that's really what happened, i'm pretty sure satan was in the right.
~ross

jones [soda] is more of a prophet than brian maclaren.
~ross

clever Christians keep me Christian.
~ross

if there's one thing bible college has taught me, it's to question the authority of scripture.
~steve

laurel beggin' hardy for a gun

a) hanging out with steve and kristin (at the same time) is inherently funny
b) stole pie
c) been converted (still scared, trying to be brave)
d) love my friends
e) angered and hurt by gossip
f) pretended i could pull an all-nighter
g) have serious doubts about my monotheism*
h) enjoyed that ross insists on sharing his music with me
i) tried to keep ross and kevin from hanging out
j) "finished" papers
k) cried multiple times during seder*
l) made meatloaf and casserole (officially a mom?)
m) is for mara who is so so so exhausted

* i'm not trying to minimize these by listing them so quick. truth is that they were/are both really big moments. something's going on inside my soul and i'm starting to notice it in my heart. "purity of heart is to love one thing." (kierkegaard's got something to say.) just want to love God with a pure heart.

ross and rachel

on any given day, i'm attaching value to the people, books, experiences, songs, ideas, and pygmy menu items i interact with. they are worth something to me. today, ross and michelle and i were talking about how you determine what something/someone is worth. ross said that, when it comes to buying things, he considers how many hours of work he has to put in to get it. if, in return for working a particular shift, his boss gave him a particular product instead of cash, would he be ok with that?

over lunch, some of us were talking about kids. steve joked that he and his wife will sit down, plan out their lives, and figure out which span of 18 years is most rational for child-rearing. i quipped, "hmm . . . i think i'm ok with completely surrendering my autonomy and agenda for these eighteen years!" i don't know much, but i'm confident that having children is never convenient. it is always always always a sacrifice.

during my reading of genesis just now, an old story struck me in a new way: jacob meets a beautiful woman - it's his cousin, but let's ignore that for the moment - and falls in love with her. his uncle says, "i'll hire you as a shepherd! name your wages!" jacob says, "let me work seven years in exchange for marrying rachel."

i get that there are things about this that should offend me: women being treated like chattel, etc. but, in light of the conversations i had earlier today, i wasn't offended. i was moved. the writer of genesis says that the seven years felt like only a few days to jacob.

oh, to be loved like that. and, what's more: to love like that.