Thursday, June 30, 2005
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
i know you're dying to hear . . .
the in-flight movie was "hitch", which i loved. you could hear me laughing throughout the whole plane, but that's nothing new. i can never hide it when i find something funny. quotes and stuff to come, but for now just enjoy looking at will smith.
airport shopping
i bought chinese food for toooo much money, gum, and an agatha christie . . . you know what that means? $20!!! anyway, the title of this one is "halloween party" which just makes it sound like a bad r.l.stine/christopher pike book (wow, was that ever redundant) . . . but it involves a certain fussy belgian with an egg-shaped head and well-maintained mustaches on whom, i must admit, i am redeveloping a girlish crush. those grey cells! swoon . . .anyway, it's an interesting story thusfar - 13 year old girl boasts that she once saw a murder, no one believes her, and after the halloween party she's found dead. hercule poirot (be still, my beating heart) must determine whether he's searching for a murderer or a doublemurderer! dun dun DUUUUUUUN.
i like it, i like it . . . (said in the style of danny kaye in "the inspector general")
ahem. well, there's hanging out with mommy in my near future, so i should have a shower or something. enough of this jibber-jabber.
i'll write again anon . . .
so long, then
this is a BEE-OOO-TEE-FULL pic of nav and fil right before nav's grad . . . they're both off to camp today, and will soon look considerably more ruffled, but just as full of wonderfulness and joy.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
nostalgic moment
so, sixteen years ago to the day, i arrived in toronto for the first time. we had flown over a big ocean and received colouring books and crayons on the flight. this is why i still appreciate air canada. today i'm going back.
my friend amy posted about locker cleanup at the end of the year, and that just made me all the more nostalgic. man, time goes by. i miss the sound of my footsteps echoing off the empty lockers as i left from my last exam of the year. summers seemed so long then. now, although high schoolers, junior highers, and elementary school kids are just finishing up school, it seems to me that is almost over. strange how perception changes.
'til next time, from "the t-dot"* . . .
* about as dorky as high fives, but just as fun
my friend amy posted about locker cleanup at the end of the year, and that just made me all the more nostalgic. man, time goes by. i miss the sound of my footsteps echoing off the empty lockers as i left from my last exam of the year. summers seemed so long then. now, although high schoolers, junior highers, and elementary school kids are just finishing up school, it seems to me that is almost over. strange how perception changes.
'til next time, from "the t-dot"* . . .
* about as dorky as high fives, but just as fun
Monday, June 27, 2005
what's the point?
i've been reflecting lately on what the point is. of anything, really? my school is discussing merger, my denomination is confusing me . . . so the question is, "why exist?" ok, the questions are: what is the purpose behind existing as a distinct entity? shouldn't we have a distinct mission? who defines that mission? surely we shouldn't exist for a lack of anything better to do? if there are other bible colleges or churches or groups doing the same thing we are, we have to clarify our call. i would assume that might involve prayer.
i haven't run this by william booth yet, but in my view the salvation army should exist primarily as a body of believers reaching out to those who are poor, addicted, jailed, and disadvantaged. "soup, soap, and salvation", right? are we doing that? 'cause other churches do a great job of worship and kids programs and so on. our niche - from our inception - was not in the suburbs, but in the ghettos. down and dirty.
now, i'm no fool (i hope!). i know times have changed. you can't stick a preacher and a cornet player down at 4th street and 7th ave and expect a revolution. but not everything's changed, has it? how much is "keeping up with the times" and how much is comfort?
keep praying for the army, friends.
i haven't run this by william booth yet, but in my view the salvation army should exist primarily as a body of believers reaching out to those who are poor, addicted, jailed, and disadvantaged. "soup, soap, and salvation", right? are we doing that? 'cause other churches do a great job of worship and kids programs and so on. our niche - from our inception - was not in the suburbs, but in the ghettos. down and dirty.
now, i'm no fool (i hope!). i know times have changed. you can't stick a preacher and a cornet player down at 4th street and 7th ave and expect a revolution. but not everything's changed, has it? how much is "keeping up with the times" and how much is comfort?
keep praying for the army, friends.
the latest!
confession: i like watching "desperate housewives". it's so well written at times, and i'm very curious to find out why may alice killed herself.
alex said something neat last weekend at the birthday doo - he had watched "alias" once and sensed that it was the kind of show he could really get stuck on. he then made a point never to watch it again. in other words, the seductive nature of the show convinced him that he shouldn't watch it.
i know i'm stuck on tv. there are at least half-a-dozen shows i really like to watch. and when you're alone so much of the time, it's the easiest way to cover up the silence. BUT i am making a few commitments:
#1 - i will, in fact, read my bible for at least 10 minutes a day. i'm praying about where to start.
#2 - i will, in fact, spend at least 10 minutes a day praying for my "person of the day" and my "cause of the day" - i'm making a list of seven people and seven "issues" and assigning them each a day of the week. that way, i have to be disciplined about setting aside time, and not only praying as things come up (although that's great, too)
#3 - i will, in fact, spend about 20 minutes a day on my bike. pedalling.
#4 - i will, in fact, keep reading books.
i read the first ("the mysterious affair at styles") and last (curtain: poirot's last case") poirot mysteries this weekend, and am now getting into jules verne's "the mysterious island", upon dad's recommendation. think "lord of the flies" but with five adults and a dog. speaking of poirot, i've decided to buy them in order, one or two a month, until i have all 39. $400 later, i'll have every harper collins poirot mystery there is. i've been meaning to find myself a collection, and this seems a good one, since i find agatha christie to be no less than brilliant and - can i just say - the harper collins book covers are simply gorgeous:
so . . . if anyone is wondering how to randomly surprise me with a gift, this is the way to go :) i also accept gift cards.
any other goal suggestions?
alex said something neat last weekend at the birthday doo - he had watched "alias" once and sensed that it was the kind of show he could really get stuck on. he then made a point never to watch it again. in other words, the seductive nature of the show convinced him that he shouldn't watch it.
i know i'm stuck on tv. there are at least half-a-dozen shows i really like to watch. and when you're alone so much of the time, it's the easiest way to cover up the silence. BUT i am making a few commitments:
#1 - i will, in fact, read my bible for at least 10 minutes a day. i'm praying about where to start.
#2 - i will, in fact, spend at least 10 minutes a day praying for my "person of the day" and my "cause of the day" - i'm making a list of seven people and seven "issues" and assigning them each a day of the week. that way, i have to be disciplined about setting aside time, and not only praying as things come up (although that's great, too)
#3 - i will, in fact, spend about 20 minutes a day on my bike. pedalling.
#4 - i will, in fact, keep reading books.
i read the first ("the mysterious affair at styles") and last (curtain: poirot's last case") poirot mysteries this weekend, and am now getting into jules verne's "the mysterious island", upon dad's recommendation. think "lord of the flies" but with five adults and a dog. speaking of poirot, i've decided to buy them in order, one or two a month, until i have all 39. $400 later, i'll have every harper collins poirot mystery there is. i've been meaning to find myself a collection, and this seems a good one, since i find agatha christie to be no less than brilliant and - can i just say - the harper collins book covers are simply gorgeous:
so . . . if anyone is wondering how to randomly surprise me with a gift, this is the way to go :) i also accept gift cards.
any other goal suggestions?
Friday, June 24, 2005
why i'm not in love with "focus on the family"
this from the june 27th issue of time magazine:
This week, after a six-week barrage of allegations, the Air Force is expected to release a report based on more than 300 interviews, addressing charges that the academy is rife with an officially encouraged religious evangelization. Critics say the behaviors violated the Constitution and Department of Defense regulations--and threatened troop unity by teaching future commanders overt religious favoritism.
-snip-
Taken together, the complaints suggest evangelical saturation. They claim that mandatory gatherings often opened with prayers and that some professors actively recruited cadets to join evangelical churches.
-snip-
[Weida] established a call-and-response routine at campus events . . . The cheer was . . . intended to provoke curiosity among non-Evangelicals and start conversations about Christ. If so, it also verbally erased any distinction between loyalty to the Air Force and to Weida's God.
-snip-
. . . cadets who did not attend chapel were known as the "heathen flight" . . .
-snip-
Tom Minnery, public-policy head of James Dobson's Focus on the Family, based in Colorado Springs, argues that "cadets are trained to give the ultimate sacrifice. They ought to be encouraged to grapple with the ultimate meaning in life, and they ought to be encouraged to make a decision about God, one way or another."
trying my best to come up with words that have more than four letters . . . ok, here goes:
it is just this kind of inappropriate use of influence, this indoctrination-based approach to serving, that makes people think that Christians are only out to assimilate the masses. this kind of garbage has to stop. there are creative and effective means of engaging in dialogue about God which neither alienate those who disagree nor abuse the positions of influence or power we may find ourselves in. fred buechner discusses this in "now and then" . . . but i can't even go there right now. suffice it to say that if we don't clean up our acts, we can expect to be denied opportunity to do any good at all.
This week, after a six-week barrage of allegations, the Air Force is expected to release a report based on more than 300 interviews, addressing charges that the academy is rife with an officially encouraged religious evangelization. Critics say the behaviors violated the Constitution and Department of Defense regulations--and threatened troop unity by teaching future commanders overt religious favoritism.
-snip-
Taken together, the complaints suggest evangelical saturation. They claim that mandatory gatherings often opened with prayers and that some professors actively recruited cadets to join evangelical churches.
-snip-
[Weida] established a call-and-response routine at campus events . . . The cheer was . . . intended to provoke curiosity among non-Evangelicals and start conversations about Christ. If so, it also verbally erased any distinction between loyalty to the Air Force and to Weida's God.
-snip-
. . . cadets who did not attend chapel were known as the "heathen flight" . . .
-snip-
Tom Minnery, public-policy head of James Dobson's Focus on the Family, based in Colorado Springs, argues that "cadets are trained to give the ultimate sacrifice. They ought to be encouraged to grapple with the ultimate meaning in life, and they ought to be encouraged to make a decision about God, one way or another."
trying my best to come up with words that have more than four letters . . . ok, here goes:
it is just this kind of inappropriate use of influence, this indoctrination-based approach to serving, that makes people think that Christians are only out to assimilate the masses. this kind of garbage has to stop. there are creative and effective means of engaging in dialogue about God which neither alienate those who disagree nor abuse the positions of influence or power we may find ourselves in. fred buechner discusses this in "now and then" . . . but i can't even go there right now. suffice it to say that if we don't clean up our acts, we can expect to be denied opportunity to do any good at all.
i wish i could speak elvish
i spent 11 hours babysitting yesterday . . . among the best 11 hours i've ever had.
it all started at noon: we went to the park and played on the slide (fun) and the swings (not so fun) and ran around the field. then off we went to subway (gotta have my sweet onion chicken teriyaki once in a while!)* which was very likely the hottest building on the planet. well, maybe not. it occured to me to call on michelle, so - with a little help from 411 - i phoned her and invited myself over.
amazing discovery of the week: when you call 411 from a cellphone, they text message you the number! how cool is that?!?!
anyway, we went to michelle's. i hadn't seen her since angie's wedding in november, so it was wonderful to catch up on things. the basement where angie and i had lived looks SO different. wow. kids toys are all over the place . . . ok, not so different. :) we hung out for a while - i was so curious to see how aidan was with other kids. the answer, by the way, is that he mostly ignores them. we got back to the house around 3 and aidan went down for a 2.5 hour nap. then we played a bit around the house while we waited for our dinner to arrive from the kitchen of our nearby dominos. after eating the pineapple off his hawaiian pizza, aidan was done.
we went to the park again and played some more. then, around 7:30, we headed back to the house. after a little playing, changing into his sleeper, and hearing his bedtime music twice, aidan fell asleep around 8:15.
his parents got home at 10:45, so i had plenty of time to wonder why sarah and grissom haven't gotten it together yet, and remember that while john cusack may play hit-and-miss as far as movie choices are concerned (both "america's sweethearts" and "serendipity" were on yesterday), his cuteness makes his audience inevitably forgiving.
important lessons like those don't come every day, ladies and gentlement. cherish them.
oh, also. finished watching "fellowship of the ring" this morning, proceeded to watch "two towers". it's been a busy day.
it all started at noon: we went to the park and played on the slide (fun) and the swings (not so fun) and ran around the field. then off we went to subway (gotta have my sweet onion chicken teriyaki once in a while!)* which was very likely the hottest building on the planet. well, maybe not. it occured to me to call on michelle, so - with a little help from 411 - i phoned her and invited myself over.
amazing discovery of the week: when you call 411 from a cellphone, they text message you the number! how cool is that?!?!
anyway, we went to michelle's. i hadn't seen her since angie's wedding in november, so it was wonderful to catch up on things. the basement where angie and i had lived looks SO different. wow. kids toys are all over the place . . . ok, not so different. :) we hung out for a while - i was so curious to see how aidan was with other kids. the answer, by the way, is that he mostly ignores them. we got back to the house around 3 and aidan went down for a 2.5 hour nap. then we played a bit around the house while we waited for our dinner to arrive from the kitchen of our nearby dominos. after eating the pineapple off his hawaiian pizza, aidan was done.
we went to the park again and played some more. then, around 7:30, we headed back to the house. after a little playing, changing into his sleeper, and hearing his bedtime music twice, aidan fell asleep around 8:15.
his parents got home at 10:45, so i had plenty of time to wonder why sarah and grissom haven't gotten it together yet, and remember that while john cusack may play hit-and-miss as far as movie choices are concerned (both "america's sweethearts" and "serendipity" were on yesterday), his cuteness makes his audience inevitably forgiving.
important lessons like those don't come every day, ladies and gentlement. cherish them.
oh, also. finished watching "fellowship of the ring" this morning, proceeded to watch "two towers". it's been a busy day.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
"my move"
none to speak of. i spent the morning having revelations about God's love, biking, and then went to babysit for the evening. fell asleep to lotr, which i'm trying desperately to get through.
can i just say this, though? i love long-distance calls. mom and dad called, and ioana, corina (though i missed her call), and neelix. locally, amanda and courtney and alex called me. the latter of which turned into a really long and wonderful conversation. i felt loved. i felt loving. what more can a girl ask?
you know, jon strutt may be right (shudder): i am blessed & highly favoured.
can i just say this, though? i love long-distance calls. mom and dad called, and ioana, corina (though i missed her call), and neelix. locally, amanda and courtney and alex called me. the latter of which turned into a really long and wonderful conversation. i felt loved. i felt loving. what more can a girl ask?
you know, jon strutt may be right (shudder): i am blessed & highly favoured.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
best birthday present EVER . . .
this may seem strange, given my last post, but today i re-realized one of the coolest and most amazing things EVER:
i was in the staff & faculty prayer meeting and i started to cry: we were talking to the One who made the universe. we get to do that! i get to do that.
wow.
thanks, God. You're . . . wow.
i love You.
i was in the staff & faculty prayer meeting and i started to cry: we were talking to the One who made the universe. we get to do that! i get to do that.
wow.
thanks, God. You're . . . wow.
i love You.
"be silent, be still"
i shun silence - my tv or radio is always on, i can't go shopping without taking along a book for the walk there and back. lying on my couch last night, i realized why:
a) i'm kinda lonely
b) i'm scared of being alone with God
i've always preferred praying for other people than sitting alone before God, talking to Him. so, if you're a praying person, i'd appreciate anything you want to pour into the bowls of Heaven.
a) i'm kinda lonely
b) i'm scared of being alone with God
i've always preferred praying for other people than sitting alone before God, talking to Him. so, if you're a praying person, i'd appreciate anything you want to pour into the bowls of Heaven.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
just 'cause jones is a wonderful thing
my bottle-cap yesterday informed me that "wednesday is the day to make your move." hmmmmm.
isn't there a song about this?
fred has me listed as "mara" on his links list. everyone else seems to get to go by camp names.
who am i, really?
i'm turning 24 in 13 hours (3am MST, for those who are wondering) and i've been trying to do that whole "things i want to accomplish before i'm 25" thing . . . to no avail. i have no long-term goals, really. i mean, i want to be more content, more reflective, more open, more vulnerable, more fit, more informed, more compassionate, more sensitive, more . . . more. but no "climb mt. everest"-type goals come to mind. is that normal?
who am i, really?
i'm turning 24 in 13 hours (3am MST, for those who are wondering) and i've been trying to do that whole "things i want to accomplish before i'm 25" thing . . . to no avail. i have no long-term goals, really. i mean, i want to be more content, more reflective, more open, more vulnerable, more fit, more informed, more compassionate, more sensitive, more . . . more. but no "climb mt. everest"-type goals come to mind. is that normal?
g.mango's valuable contributions to my life
i met g.mango when i was 14 . . . and what struck me as odd was that she considered "jesus freak" to be a compliment. anyway, two years later i became a Christian, and she started making a tad more sense to me. not much, mind you. throughout our almost eight years of friendship, there's been tonnes of crap, lots of hurt, plenty of me taking her for granted, a plethora of misunderstandings and so much more. but there's something that keeps us hangin' on.
i don't know what it is for her, but for me it's always been this: i've never doubted what God wanted for our friendship, even when i wasn't sure i wanted it to exist at all. i've always been sure that God was doing something awesome. and, you know, He has. i've learned things through my friendship with g.mango that i don't think i could have learned else-wise.
her approach to faith and living the life challenges me, her honesty inspires me more often than it offends me. what i admire most about her, though, is that she's a woman who knows what she's about. this is all sounding like an early birthday message, and that wasn't my intention. all the same: g.mango, i'm so glad you were born, and that God had the sense of humour and wisdom to throw us in each other's paths. love ya!
i don't know what it is for her, but for me it's always been this: i've never doubted what God wanted for our friendship, even when i wasn't sure i wanted it to exist at all. i've always been sure that God was doing something awesome. and, you know, He has. i've learned things through my friendship with g.mango that i don't think i could have learned else-wise.
her approach to faith and living the life challenges me, her honesty inspires me more often than it offends me. what i admire most about her, though, is that she's a woman who knows what she's about. this is all sounding like an early birthday message, and that wasn't my intention. all the same: g.mango, i'm so glad you were born, and that God had the sense of humour and wisdom to throw us in each other's paths. love ya!
Monday, June 20, 2005
me, too
You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan - 93%
Emergent/Postmodern - 82%
Neo orthodox - 71%
Fundamentalist - 64%
Classical Liberal - 50%
Roman Catholic - 46%
Reformed Evangelical - 43%
Charismatic/Pentecostal - 36%
Modern Liberal - 18%
What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com
thots:
a) happy to see i'm in the right denomination
b) maybe now jeremy will stop calling me a liberal
c) surprised at how low charismatic was
d) surprised at how high orthodox was . . . though i did acknowledge that icons can have a place in worship
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan - 93%
Emergent/Postmodern - 82%
Neo orthodox - 71%
Fundamentalist - 64%
Classical Liberal - 50%
Roman Catholic - 46%
Reformed Evangelical - 43%
Charismatic/Pentecostal - 36%
Modern Liberal - 18%
What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com
thots:
a) happy to see i'm in the right denomination
b) maybe now jeremy will stop calling me a liberal
c) surprised at how low charismatic was
d) surprised at how high orthodox was . . . though i did acknowledge that icons can have a place in worship
my favourite meal of the year
i went to youth group last night, which i never do . . . but this was chocolate pudding and raw egg night, and i couldn't afford to miss it. you see, this summer i won't be having that amazing experience - face caked with dried yoke and pudding, hair stiff as a helmet, increasingly uncomfortable and yet increasingly free as the evening goes on. i'm not going back to camp.
wammy #1.
the event had originally been scheduled for saturday but due to the uber-fun torrential downpour calgary has been enjoying, it was moved to sunday . . . so i could go! it had to end by ten pm, however, because amanda and peter had a plane to catch. by this time, their meetings at dhq in toronto will probably be done. amanda and peter are gone.
wammy #2.
it's just an emotional time, wrapped up in eggs and pudding. didn't think it would be. i love camp, and amanda, and peter . . . but i didn't expect that it'd be so hard.
wammy #1.
the event had originally been scheduled for saturday but due to the uber-fun torrential downpour calgary has been enjoying, it was moved to sunday . . . so i could go! it had to end by ten pm, however, because amanda and peter had a plane to catch. by this time, their meetings at dhq in toronto will probably be done. amanda and peter are gone.
wammy #2.
it's just an emotional time, wrapped up in eggs and pudding. didn't think it would be. i love camp, and amanda, and peter . . . but i didn't expect that it'd be so hard.
friendship, friendship . . . just a perfect blendship
on saturday some friends came over for a joint birthday thing - alex's birthday was that day and mine's on wednesday (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) . . . i love friends. like, so much. in general, and these guys specifically. it's the kind of thing that makes you smile as you're drifting off the sleep . . . you know?
speaking of sleeping, i've been doing that on my couch the last couple of days, falling asleep to the last episode of star trek: the next generation. every night i get a little further before i drop off to sleep, and the next night i pick up where i left off. i finally watched the last ten minutes this afternoon. the episode is called "all good things . . . " and it's simply brilliant. (i'm a big believer that your final episode should be the best one you've ever had, and st:tng hit that nail on the head and then some)
anyway, captain picard keeps shifting between time periods and finally solves this paradox and "saves humanity, yet again." in the last five minutes (hope i'm not spoiling this), he joins the senior staff poker game, which he's never done before. they're all surprised to see him. data passes him the cards and before picard deals he looks around the table at counsellor troi, dr. crusher, data, worf, geordi, and riker, and says, "i should have done this years ago." i cried.
i have this sense of "shoot, i missed the moment" that still lingers from high school. in my prom video i confessed that my biggest regret from my years at jackson is that i didn't talk to people. what was i so scared of??? i don't want to look back on my years at rocky, or at south meadows, or wherever and wish i had been courageous enough to speak. particularly since i suspect that, like picard, i was always welcome.
speaking of sleeping, i've been doing that on my couch the last couple of days, falling asleep to the last episode of star trek: the next generation. every night i get a little further before i drop off to sleep, and the next night i pick up where i left off. i finally watched the last ten minutes this afternoon. the episode is called "all good things . . . " and it's simply brilliant. (i'm a big believer that your final episode should be the best one you've ever had, and st:tng hit that nail on the head and then some)
anyway, captain picard keeps shifting between time periods and finally solves this paradox and "saves humanity, yet again." in the last five minutes (hope i'm not spoiling this), he joins the senior staff poker game, which he's never done before. they're all surprised to see him. data passes him the cards and before picard deals he looks around the table at counsellor troi, dr. crusher, data, worf, geordi, and riker, and says, "i should have done this years ago." i cried.
i have this sense of "shoot, i missed the moment" that still lingers from high school. in my prom video i confessed that my biggest regret from my years at jackson is that i didn't talk to people. what was i so scared of??? i don't want to look back on my years at rocky, or at south meadows, or wherever and wish i had been courageous enough to speak. particularly since i suspect that, like picard, i was always welcome.
Friday, June 17, 2005
not random
my bathroom is being torn apart today - the ceiling being pulled down and new dry wall eventually replacing it. i've moved everything out of that room except the shower curtains and toilet cleaner, which are both stored (at a safe distance from each other) in the under-sink cabinet. oh, and i've left the ice cream tub which collects the water dripping from the hole in the ceiling. this all started with one problem but led us to three distinct problems - two leaks and a clog - all affecting my bathroom.
i've been looking through photos from camp rainbow . . . man, it was four years ago that i worked there. summer of 2001. fraggle taught me some lessons . . . wow. the kids, too. and i met this guy who, despite his slight clumsiness, i continue to value as among my closest friends (it's easier when i'm several provinces away and he can't spill my mac'n'cheese all over the dirt). anyway, God was teaching me about trusting Him and making Him all and serving 24/7 and all that. then, during week 5 - early august - as so many of you know, i got the toughest news i've ever had to face. within a month, i was no longer living with my parents. that summer was a huge turning point in my life.
as far as i can gather, that's the last photo i have of myself before my world changed forever.
so much was going on that i didn't know about. i mean, HUGE things were going on behind the scenes. i couldn't have known when i showed up at jackson's point, as we drove up to madawaska, as we prepped, as we wept and prayed, as we ministered and loved, that the summer would end the way it did. if i'd known, i would probably have been useless to God. i mean, a mess.
so, i wonder, what's going on now that we don't see . . . what's going on that we'll only find out about weeks or months or years from now?
"sometimes God doesn't tell you His plan because you wouldn't believe Him anyway" . . . pine lake 2003
i've been looking through photos from camp rainbow . . . man, it was four years ago that i worked there. summer of 2001. fraggle taught me some lessons . . . wow. the kids, too. and i met this guy who, despite his slight clumsiness, i continue to value as among my closest friends (it's easier when i'm several provinces away and he can't spill my mac'n'cheese all over the dirt). anyway, God was teaching me about trusting Him and making Him all and serving 24/7 and all that. then, during week 5 - early august - as so many of you know, i got the toughest news i've ever had to face. within a month, i was no longer living with my parents. that summer was a huge turning point in my life.
as far as i can gather, that's the last photo i have of myself before my world changed forever.
so much was going on that i didn't know about. i mean, HUGE things were going on behind the scenes. i couldn't have known when i showed up at jackson's point, as we drove up to madawaska, as we prepped, as we wept and prayed, as we ministered and loved, that the summer would end the way it did. if i'd known, i would probably have been useless to God. i mean, a mess.
so, i wonder, what's going on now that we don't see . . . what's going on that we'll only find out about weeks or months or years from now?
"sometimes God doesn't tell you His plan because you wouldn't believe Him anyway" . . . pine lake 2003
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
how NOT to pray
this is more than slightly amusing . . . because it's true. i know i'm guilty of a few of these. borrowed from Acts 17:11.
enjoy!
Be warned in advance that reading these might stilt your first few public prayers afterwards.
Luke 11:1 (KJV) ... "Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples."
JUST inJUSTice: For some inexplicable reason, the word JUST shows up a lot in prayer. "Just" is used for pausing, for filler, as an adverb, for rhythm, and, well, to underscore that this is just prayer and not talking in general. Since this is not normally the case in human dialog, it is hard to explain why. This is also known as the JUST'n MARTYR PRAYER.
"Lord, we JUST pray that you would JUST like, JUST really JUST totally..."
THE GOSSIP: "Lord, please forgive Pam [not present] for her sexual lust towards George [who is present].
THE THEOLOGIAN: Here the person feels led to lecture God on various--usually obvious--points of theology, as if God needed reminding. While the words of such prayers can be valid enough if said in a spirit of praise, THE THEOLOGIAN gives you the distinct impression that he/she is praying to ideas rather than God; or perhaps trying to impress the rest of us.
"Lord, you are God. You are the Triune, Immutable, Omniscient, Revelatory, the First Principle. You even know what I am going to pray next!... [etc. etc. etc.]"
THE OPPORTUNIST: For someone who would never get a word in edgewise in a normal conversation--because what they want to say is inherently boring or unedifying--prayer can be an opportunity to "seize the floor" and speechify at great length without fear of rebuttal or interruption unless something really awful is said; and perhaps not even then, as social convention says it is very rude to interrupt while someone is praying.
"Lord, I just want to pray for my stamp collection. I know nobody here cares about it, but I know you do. As for that manager at Philately's that wants to charge me too much for that display-book, I pray you would soften his heart to give me a discount. And those stamps I need in the 40's collection, you know those rare pieces that I missed on eBay last month... [on and on and on]."
THE LECTURER: Similar to THE OPPORTUNIST, but here the motive is to harangue someone else--or the group--by sermonizing in general. Also known as THE SERMON PRAYER.
"O God, forgive those among us who do not understand the need to... [fill in the blanks]."
"Lord, forgive the congregation for their continued failure to tithe. For 'The tithe is the Lord's', and 'Test me in this' saith the Lord... [and on and on]"
CALLING DOWN FIRE: To rant or vituperate in a prayer. Basically, to ask God to send down a lightning bolt of judgment. (Often aimed at ungodly politicians.) Such prayers seem to beg for the response: "You do not know what Spirit you are of". (Lk 9:55, Mt 5:11-12)
"Lord, that lady who gestured rudely to me in my car today, I pray that you would slap her silly with your scorching judgment. Teach her not to treat your children that way, with a scathing rebuke from on high. Amen."
CRUTCH WORDS: Same as JUST'n Martyr / JUST inJUSTice, but instead of "JUST" we have an overuse of another word or phrase like "FATHER", "REALLY", "O GOD", "LORD GOD", etc.
"Lord God, we just really, Lord God, really, just, Lord God ..."
"Father, we ask you, Father, to just, Father, really just, O Father..."
THE KING JAMES ONLY PRAYER: As the quotation goes, "If King James English was good enough for Saint Paul, it is good enough for me." For these people, prayer just seems more "holy" if spoken in a 300-year-old dialect, as if God were somehow nostalgic for such ornamentation.
"We beseech Thee, in Thine tabernacles, O Lord. Ye forgiveth the bowels of iniquity as an ensample..."
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING: To "pray without ceasing" is generally understood as an admonition to not neglect our prayers, or for us to maintain an attitude of prayer in all that we do. Not so with these people, they take it literally. They seem to think that prayer is to be preferred over all other activities in Christian life; and if you do not agree, well that is too bad since they are praying just now. Also known as THE ETERNAL PRAYER, or THE PRAYER THAT NEVER ENDS. Those who do this should never be asked to pray before a meal.
"Lord, we pray for the believers in China. And, Lord, we want to mention each one by name..."
PRAY WHAT? When asked to pray for a certain purpose, to pray about everything but that.
[To give thanks at dinner:] "Lord, bless Joey in his job search, and grandma Higgins as she visits her daughter Louise, and the building fund at the church, and... and... and... Amen!" (Never gets around to the food.)
THE UNSPOKEN REQUEST: Php 4:6 (NAS) ...let your requests be made known to God.
THE SATANIST: While Christians have debated over the millennia over whether prayers should be addressed to Jesus or the Father, this person avoids the issue entirely by directly addressing prayers to the devil. This is also known as the DEAR DEVIL prayer, or PRAYING TO THE DEVIL.
"Devil, I am sick and tired or your slewfoot shenanigans. I put you on notice, you liar, you!"
"Satan, I'm talking to you! Now listen up. I take authority over you..."
(As a footnote here, beyond not having a single example of anyone praying to the devil in scripture, we are specifically warned in Jude 1:9-10 that prayers in this venue are typical of false prophets.)
THE HERESY PRAYER: A public prayer, however sincere, that is just plain wrong.
"Father, we know that you would never correct your children. No, you are too good for that. For you promised us in the Holy Bible that you would never punish anyone, not even the littlest flea, and we take your word on this matter as the very gospel! [etc. etc.]"
REVERSE HUMILITY: Rather than show personal penitence, this perpetrator seeks to slam or insult the group he/she is in via prayer. Also known as THE ACCUSER OF THE BRETHREN.
"God, you know this dog-brained group of ours has about zero spiritual wisdom..."
"Lord, I pray you would forgive the leaders of our fellowship for their ignorance and laziness..."
THE ANNOUNCEMENT PRAYER: "Dear Lord, please be with next Sunday's potluck, which will be at Amy and Arthur's home on 333 Mockingbird Lane. The Cape Cod with green shutters and 2 ferns on the porch. Dear God, help us all to remember that all families last name A-L need to bring sandwiches and families last name M-Z need to bring dessert. And Sovereign Lord, please don't let the person who is supposed to bring the drinks forget again, like last time. Amen."
enjoy!
Be warned in advance that reading these might stilt your first few public prayers afterwards.
Luke 11:1 (KJV) ... "Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples."
JUST inJUSTice: For some inexplicable reason, the word JUST shows up a lot in prayer. "Just" is used for pausing, for filler, as an adverb, for rhythm, and, well, to underscore that this is just prayer and not talking in general. Since this is not normally the case in human dialog, it is hard to explain why. This is also known as the JUST'n MARTYR PRAYER.
"Lord, we JUST pray that you would JUST like, JUST really JUST totally..."
THE GOSSIP: "Lord, please forgive Pam [not present] for her sexual lust towards George [who is present].
THE THEOLOGIAN: Here the person feels led to lecture God on various--usually obvious--points of theology, as if God needed reminding. While the words of such prayers can be valid enough if said in a spirit of praise, THE THEOLOGIAN gives you the distinct impression that he/she is praying to ideas rather than God; or perhaps trying to impress the rest of us.
"Lord, you are God. You are the Triune, Immutable, Omniscient, Revelatory, the First Principle. You even know what I am going to pray next!... [etc. etc. etc.]"
THE OPPORTUNIST: For someone who would never get a word in edgewise in a normal conversation--because what they want to say is inherently boring or unedifying--prayer can be an opportunity to "seize the floor" and speechify at great length without fear of rebuttal or interruption unless something really awful is said; and perhaps not even then, as social convention says it is very rude to interrupt while someone is praying.
"Lord, I just want to pray for my stamp collection. I know nobody here cares about it, but I know you do. As for that manager at Philately's that wants to charge me too much for that display-book, I pray you would soften his heart to give me a discount. And those stamps I need in the 40's collection, you know those rare pieces that I missed on eBay last month... [on and on and on]."
THE LECTURER: Similar to THE OPPORTUNIST, but here the motive is to harangue someone else--or the group--by sermonizing in general. Also known as THE SERMON PRAYER.
"O God, forgive those among us who do not understand the need to... [fill in the blanks]."
"Lord, forgive the congregation for their continued failure to tithe. For 'The tithe is the Lord's', and 'Test me in this' saith the Lord... [and on and on]"
CALLING DOWN FIRE: To rant or vituperate in a prayer. Basically, to ask God to send down a lightning bolt of judgment. (Often aimed at ungodly politicians.) Such prayers seem to beg for the response: "You do not know what Spirit you are of". (Lk 9:55, Mt 5:11-12)
"Lord, that lady who gestured rudely to me in my car today, I pray that you would slap her silly with your scorching judgment. Teach her not to treat your children that way, with a scathing rebuke from on high. Amen."
CRUTCH WORDS: Same as JUST'n Martyr / JUST inJUSTice, but instead of "JUST" we have an overuse of another word or phrase like "FATHER", "REALLY", "O GOD", "LORD GOD", etc.
"Lord God, we just really, Lord God, really, just, Lord God ..."
"Father, we ask you, Father, to just, Father, really just, O Father..."
THE KING JAMES ONLY PRAYER: As the quotation goes, "If King James English was good enough for Saint Paul, it is good enough for me." For these people, prayer just seems more "holy" if spoken in a 300-year-old dialect, as if God were somehow nostalgic for such ornamentation.
"We beseech Thee, in Thine tabernacles, O Lord. Ye forgiveth the bowels of iniquity as an ensample..."
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING: To "pray without ceasing" is generally understood as an admonition to not neglect our prayers, or for us to maintain an attitude of prayer in all that we do. Not so with these people, they take it literally. They seem to think that prayer is to be preferred over all other activities in Christian life; and if you do not agree, well that is too bad since they are praying just now. Also known as THE ETERNAL PRAYER, or THE PRAYER THAT NEVER ENDS. Those who do this should never be asked to pray before a meal.
"Lord, we pray for the believers in China. And, Lord, we want to mention each one by name..."
PRAY WHAT? When asked to pray for a certain purpose, to pray about everything but that.
[To give thanks at dinner:] "Lord, bless Joey in his job search, and grandma Higgins as she visits her daughter Louise, and the building fund at the church, and... and... and... Amen!" (Never gets around to the food.)
THE UNSPOKEN REQUEST: Php 4:6 (NAS) ...let your requests be made known to God.
THE SATANIST: While Christians have debated over the millennia over whether prayers should be addressed to Jesus or the Father, this person avoids the issue entirely by directly addressing prayers to the devil. This is also known as the DEAR DEVIL prayer, or PRAYING TO THE DEVIL.
"Devil, I am sick and tired or your slewfoot shenanigans. I put you on notice, you liar, you!"
"Satan, I'm talking to you! Now listen up. I take authority over you..."
(As a footnote here, beyond not having a single example of anyone praying to the devil in scripture, we are specifically warned in Jude 1:9-10 that prayers in this venue are typical of false prophets.)
THE HERESY PRAYER: A public prayer, however sincere, that is just plain wrong.
"Father, we know that you would never correct your children. No, you are too good for that. For you promised us in the Holy Bible that you would never punish anyone, not even the littlest flea, and we take your word on this matter as the very gospel! [etc. etc.]"
REVERSE HUMILITY: Rather than show personal penitence, this perpetrator seeks to slam or insult the group he/she is in via prayer. Also known as THE ACCUSER OF THE BRETHREN.
"God, you know this dog-brained group of ours has about zero spiritual wisdom..."
"Lord, I pray you would forgive the leaders of our fellowship for their ignorance and laziness..."
THE ANNOUNCEMENT PRAYER: "Dear Lord, please be with next Sunday's potluck, which will be at Amy and Arthur's home on 333 Mockingbird Lane. The Cape Cod with green shutters and 2 ferns on the porch. Dear God, help us all to remember that all families last name A-L need to bring sandwiches and families last name M-Z need to bring dessert. And Sovereign Lord, please don't let the person who is supposed to bring the drinks forget again, like last time. Amen."
wow
so, i just resurrected this blog, after an intense multi-hour code session. it died suddenly and inexplicably sometime between monday and yesterday, and now it's back. incidently, i know next to nothing about code - be it java, html, or css - so it's been a slice. definitely learning a lot about things i don't care too much about.
in other news, i decided to check out a fantastic website: demotivators. i hadn't perused it in some time. this, among many other things, struck me as funny:
how droll.
in other news, i decided to check out a fantastic website: demotivators. i hadn't perused it in some time. this, among many other things, struck me as funny:
how droll.
Monday, June 13, 2005
is it normal, do you think . . .
to update your template 17.3 billion times a week?
ah, tweaking. how i love thee.
ah, tweaking. how i love thee.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Thursday, June 09, 2005
and i'm not just saying this . . .
ever feel like you're putting things off until some distant tomorrow that will never come? so, i'm watching dr. phil (oh, pish-posh . . . you love him, too) and he said, "things aren't going to change until you decide that you can't live with your [bad habit, deceit, lifestyle, whatever] another minute of another hour of another day." so, it's more than, "man, i should work on that." i need a clean break from some of the things i hold onto so tightly.
sometimes i go through huge experiences of self-revelation and self-exploration . . . and leave it there. steve osmond (who, yes, continues to make sense to me) once preached on moses and the (not)burning bush saying, "moses didn't just think, 'huh, interesting. better journal that!' he was COMPELLED to go and check it out!"
all that to say this: when i realize something about myself or the world or God - be it big or small - there is more that can and should be done with that knowledge than simply journalling or blogging it. i must always be willing to CHANGE how i'm living, based on what i learn.
sometimes i go through huge experiences of self-revelation and self-exploration . . . and leave it there. steve osmond (who, yes, continues to make sense to me) once preached on moses and the (not)burning bush saying, "moses didn't just think, 'huh, interesting. better journal that!' he was COMPELLED to go and check it out!"
all that to say this: when i realize something about myself or the world or God - be it big or small - there is more that can and should be done with that knowledge than simply journalling or blogging it. i must always be willing to CHANGE how i'm living, based on what i learn.
quote
Dann said, "They made a big grave there." He pointed. "Hundreds of people."
"Was it the water sickness?"
"No, there was a war."
"What about?"
"Water. Who was to control the water from the spring that makes the stream that feeds the lake that we were on."
"Who won?"
"Who cares? It is all drying up anyway."
"Was it the water sickness?"
"No, there was a war."
"What about?"
"Water. Who was to control the water from the spring that makes the stream that feeds the lake that we were on."
"Who won?"
"Who cares? It is all drying up anyway."
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
last one today, really
i was thinking last night that i'm happy. i have SO much to be happy about. not just that i have three jobs i love, or that i'm studying what matters most to me, or that i have a great family and wonderful friends . . . but that i have a friend in God.
from day one, Christianity was described as good news - the gospel, right? well . . . it is, you know? it is GREAT news.
i'm pretty happy about it.
from day one, Christianity was described as good news - the gospel, right? well . . . it is, you know? it is GREAT news.
i'm pretty happy about it.
something about rain
i'm reading a book called "mara and dann" which i bought yeeeeears ago because, well, it has my name in the title. the story takes place thousands of years from now in africa, when the next ice age has hit and there is little water around. reading this tale has three concurrent effects of me:
a) makes me constantly thirsty
b) confuses me - because i look outside and see cats, dogs, and lots of water falling from the sky . . . i'm not sure what's going on, since i tend to think i live in the world i'm reading about
c) inspires me to appreciate the rain we're having
i love water. always have, always will.
a) makes me constantly thirsty
b) confuses me - because i look outside and see cats, dogs, and lots of water falling from the sky . . . i'm not sure what's going on, since i tend to think i live in the world i'm reading about
c) inspires me to appreciate the rain we're having
i love water. always have, always will.
have i ever mentioned . . .
my personal trainer? oh, he's a miracle worker! i've been meeting with him for a while and he's always so encouraging and energetic. he always cheers me on, "come on, mara!" and he changes things up from time to time: "marching!!! . . . running!!!" weights, laps, steps, even dancing . . . he's right there taking me to the next level.
he's been in the business just over two years, but you'd think he's been at it his whole life! i love that he always welcomes me with a little smile. he makes even the toughest workout fun! i think he notices when i get tired, but he pushes on until he knows i've done all i can.
by then it's usually supper time so i put him in his high chair and try to trick him into eating everything on his plate. last week we watched the heffalump movie together, and then practiced our elephant faces. yes, indeed. i love my trainer. after all, it's not often you get paid to work out.
he's been in the business just over two years, but you'd think he's been at it his whole life! i love that he always welcomes me with a little smile. he makes even the toughest workout fun! i think he notices when i get tired, but he pushes on until he knows i've done all i can.
by then it's usually supper time so i put him in his high chair and try to trick him into eating everything on his plate. last week we watched the heffalump movie together, and then practiced our elephant faces. yes, indeed. i love my trainer. after all, it's not often you get paid to work out.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Friday, June 03, 2005
give me tiiiime . . . to realize my criiiiime . . .
so, my mom - being amazing, thoughtful, amazingly thoughtful, and ambitious on my behalf - has subscribed me to "time magazine" once again. it's helped me realize how out of touch with the world i have become. i mean, i sort of knew that. last week i was ready to puke if i saw another Christian. but that soon passed. see, puking was not the solution. no - the solution lies in reading. so i read some jules verne, and now i'm reading "time magazine". who knows? i may even move on to real people one of these days.
one can only hope.
one can only hope.
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