"we will have these moments to remember..."

food and memories

when i lived in calgary, i occasionally followed a vegan or vegetarian diet. the food buzz project blog competition has reminded me of this and made me miss the city through one of this challenge's competitors: angela of "oh she glows" review the coup, a vegetarian restaurant on 17th ave!

is it always sunny?

tomorrow i fly out to philadelphia, where idris will meet me! we have a weekend full of catching up, sightseeing, thanksgiving, and cooking planned, and i fly home just in time to teach my tuesday evening class.

truth be told, i can't believe we've survived eight weeks of being apart!

yaaaay for reunions!

good grammar can improve airport security!

while waiting in a long, long airport security line at lester b. pearson international airport today, i saw a sign warning unruly passengers that they may "be denied boarding and/or prosecuted."

oh, and/or. apparently, you're not as straightforward as i imagined you to be.

i'm pretty sure this particular sign used "and/or" wrong, because it implies that there are two possible punishments for being unruly: (being prosecuted) OR (being prosecuted and being denied boarding.) thaaaat's fairly silly. if they're going to prosecute you, i really doubt they'll let you board! but that's just my gut talkin'.

the sign should probably read: "unruly passengers may be prosecuted and/or denied boarding." subtext: being a jackass won't help you get on the plane faster. not even if you're a cabinet minister.

don't you dare let yourself believe that this issue doesn't apply to you! pondering such grammatical nuances has effectively diverted and distracted me as i've stood in long, long airport security lines. were it not for those distractions i may have become unruly!

and we all know what happens when you become unruly in an airport. or we would, if the sign was clearer.

:)

from way across the ocean, my little sissy asked me why i was smiling. in response, i offer this partial list of my reasons for glee:

- haircuts
- sushi
- defenses and convocations
- job postings and auditions
- pub trivia successes
- a mom who takes care of me when i sacrifice part of my finger to the mandolin* gods
- a boyfriend who listens and is teaching me when to stop talking
- friends who have big! changes! going on in their lives
- the impending return of little sissy and her husband!
- seeing nyc for the first time soon
- big sissy's wedding in june!
- cats
- diet coke
- phone calls with michelle
- apples and peanut butter
- a pink sweater
- dibs

oooh... dibs! see ya!

* the vegetable slicer, not the musical instrument

just a dribblin' fool...

after tasting anna's pavlova at the big family christmas party in london, and seeing it on so many british dessert menus, i decided to give it a try for christmas dinner.

for those who didn't know (like me, a few weeks ago), pavlova is a dessert from new zealand. apparently it was named after russian ballerina anna pavlova. but i think its name is an allusion to the fact that whenever i think of it, i drool.

basically, it's a meringue that is chewy in the middle. this is not due to undercooking, as far as i can figure, but to the addition of corn starch or lemon or something. i mean, it bakes for quite a while. ANYway. it's typically baked as a circle 9" wide, allowed to cool overnight, and then topped with barely-sweetened whipped cream and fruit. if you want to go traditional, with kiwis!

i opted for individual portions of pavlova, which makes everything look prettier longer. plus, there were only three of us for christmas dinner. unfortunately, i used the recipe for a typical 9" round. if you're going to make these minis, you can safely half the recipe and still tempt four people.

my recipe, based on this one i found at allrecipes.com:
4 egg whites
1.5 cup white sugar (some comments on allrecipes recommended cutting this down to 1 cup. the original recipe does yield a very sweet dessert.)
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp lemon juice (i used clementine juice, which was inadvisable due to its relatively low acid content. it still worked, i'd like to point out... plus, i didn't know i had an alternative. vinegar will also work - the point is to add an acid.)
2 tsp cornstarch (i subbed in 1.2 tsp arrowroot because that's what we had on hand - the point is to add a thickener.)

- preheat oven to 300 and get parchment paper ready on a cookie sheet. it may be helpful to draw the shape of the pavlova you intend to create (one 9" round or many 3" rounds or what have you) onto the paper and then flip the paper over.
- start out by beating the egg whites into stiff peaks, then gradually add the sugar, 1 tbsp at a time. you're done beating when it looks thick and glossy.
- the recipe emphasizes the importance of keeping yolk and grease away from the egg whites. this appears to be crucial. also, for the love of all that is yummy and delectable, don't overbeat the whites!
- gently fold in the vanilla, acid, and thickener.
- i separated the batter (so to speak) into three groups and added green food colouring to one and red to another, but the natural colour of the pavlova is actually quite lovely and this sort of meddling is utterly unnecessary. perhaps even counterproductive! ok, i'll stop now.
- spoon or pipe onto the circles you've drawn on the parchment paper, making the perimeter of the circle slightly higher than the middle. (i may have ignored that last part.)
- pop in the oven for an hour.
- some recipes recommend letting them cool in the oven with the door ajar, some say remove to a cooling rack. i did the former.
- before serving top with lightly sweetened whipped cream and fruit.

the pics:

your ingredients!

yummm...

now, give them some privacy.

pretty in pink!

the verdict: these pavlovas were chewy, crispy, sweet, and satisfying. definitely worth repeating!

picture this

2009...

it was to be a year of weddings, renewed friendships, goodbyes, and hellos...

cori got married and we danced.

i finished my course work and carried an orange balloon.

i turned 28 and made an awesome cake.

i went to the bahamas and studied for the lsat.

i went to collingwood and played on the swings with nancy and pat.

i said goodbye to cori and made her a cake.

mon got married and we danced.

i got my lsat score and nearly wept with joy.

i went all out for hallowe'en but no one else did!

while on a research trip, i commemorated the 20th anniversary of the fall of the berlin wall.

i celebrated the holidays with more "family" than ever before - friends so close they're family, my little sister's in-laws, distant cousins in london, my little sister, her husband, and my parents. and i missed my older sister and her fiance.

there was a lot more in there... new ideas, new areas of research, major life decisions (like applying to law school), terrible disappointments (the detainee allegations and the recent proroguing of parliament rank high, but there were personal ones, too). but there was growth. and there were good tears.

not bad for a year's work. on to the next!

london sweets

the best hot chocolate i've ever had, trafalgar square

anna's christmas cookies

german mini pancakes, south bank of the thames

anna's pavlova (mmmm...)

glasses

madonna and child (me and eddie).

capital/capitol

things you need to know about me, if you don't already:

1 - i'm insanely into "the west wing."
2 - the only time i've ever been to washington dc, i hung out with the older sissy, but never saw the sights.
3 - united airlines flies to heathrow through dc.
4 - i don't know how to sight-see by myself. it's hard to stay motivated and to know what to do... and i always wish i had someone to talk to about what i see.
5 - my thesis work revolves around the vietnam war.

with some help from my expedia-expert (i.e. dad), a 13-hour layover was planned. the benefit of this particular trip was that it was so short that it could only allow for a whirlwind tour. in other words, i had no choice but to stay motivated. it also demanded some triage.

i focused on the national archives, the lincoln memorial, and the vietnam war memorial. i also broke down and got a reader card at the library of congress. ("broke down" because they really discourage getting the card unless you intend to do research. in all fairness, i would have done so if i had the time.)

apart from the coincidence of seeing an enlisted soldier at the vietnam war memorial, my favourite thing was discovering that one of my tour bus drivers (taking advantage of the freedom to hop-on-hop-off, i met four different ones) was a vietnam vet. he was in grad school and got a student deferment, but then he ran out of money. so he enlisted and flew fighter planes! then he moved to d.c. in '73. i know vets abound, especially in the states, and especially when it comes to this particular war... but it was still kinda neat.

10x1000=2008

strumming

"rhapsody in blue" is lovely all the way through, and it seems to end just when it should. how do artists know when the painting or song or poem is finished, anyway? i'm really asking.

i listened to my favourite piece today... and thought, again, about how school should start in spring. and we should defend our theses in fall, with the harvest. and then we'd beat pathetic fallacy because the long hard hours of slaving away would be brightened by sunshine and winter would be warmed by breaks from school.

i have pedagogy and epistemology on my mind today. and i'm thinking about interconnectedness and holistic analysis.

i'm excited about mining archives and worried about paying for these research trips (even though they're local-ish).

i'm wondering if culture really does have intrinsic value or if we're just defensive.

i'm hoping they turn the heat on soon, too. i imagine that might be cozier.

i'm remembering that "lovers in a dangerous time" is still an incredible poem. and so is "hallelujah." and so is "stopping in the woods on a snowy evening."

and i have miles to go before i sleep.

"could you be just a little more jewish?"

that's how danny phrased it when he asked matt to live in the moment (studio 60 on the sunset strip). maybe i'm getting back to my ashkenazi roots.

standing on my tippy-toes in georgian bay, i propped nancy up. her shoulders leaned against mine as her legs floated toward the horizon. only the occasional wave interrupted her laughter. the gurgling was just as sweet, though.


it was the most fun i'd ever had with her. actually, it ranks pretty high on my list of recent joyful moments. and that's at least partly because i didn't extrapolate.

back when i was at camp, i'd enjoy every little bit of being around kids: the creativity it demanded, the humour, the spontaneity, the license to act silly. but a part of me always leaned forward. it sighed and said, "i can't wait 'til i can do this with my own kids."

in the water with nancy, i knew there were parallels to parenting. but, to be honest, i was too busy loving that moment to think past it. being right there was just so very good.

tonight i'm remembering other instances of being present: the last year has brought suds fights with alice, chats with kevin, pat's cat imitation, my first time helping doris and rosie, touching foreheads with mr. goto, breaking bad news to sandi, building furniture with mike. countless hugs and laughs that all meld together now but at the time were each worlds in themselves.

it's not that l'arche is magical, you know. i'm finding it easier to just be in other areas of my life, too. to open my eyes and heart and just let life show me. to experience meaning instead of trying to manufacture it.

to let my legs float toward the horizon as i lean back, trusting that i won't sink.

"a single moment in time can be a universe in itself, full of powerful forces. most people aren't aware enough of the now to even notice."
(st:insurrection)

no play-by-play

but here are some highlights from my recent trip to italy and romania:
- spent three five-hour chunks walking around rome
- lived with a l'arche community in nearby ciampino: ate, danced, and played
- sampled good eats (see this album)
- finished reading "how proust can change your life"
- pondered religious art, tourism, beauty, and democracy
- thought a lot about expectations and disappointment, particularly with reference to caravaggio
- stood in the same room as a two works by caravaggio and didn't pass out
- reignited friendships with jann arden, miranda stone, and great big sea... all canadian artists!
- was so very grateful i'd taken french in school
- discussed mysticism on the spanish steps (and made a guy nearly swoon by vaguely knowing who urs von balthazar is... thanks, steve!)
- tried buffallo mozzarella which - it had never occurred to me before! - comes from buffallo milk
- benefitted from the kindness of strangers on countless occasions
- discovered just how lacy the italian coast is - it's a mess of curves!
- got sunburned
- got caked with sea salt, straight out of the sea
- pilgrimaged back to bucharest
- reunited with old friends
- danced with dad... and contemplated dance lessons
- laughed so, so, so much
- renewed my appreciation for a room with four walls and a door!
- started reading just war theory stuff
- travelled by plane, train, metro, busses of different lengths and heights, cars and vans, motor boat, skybridge, funicular, teleferique, airport shuttle, teeny elevator, and foot... sadly, no scooters this time
- can't wait to go back

see also this, this, this, and that.

travelling tips:
- have a plan
- be ready to abandon it
- consider wearing a wedding ring
- don't try too hard to understand popular tourism... it makes no sense.
- cobblestone is slippery when wet
- talk to strangers
- watch out for little dogs or you might kick them by mistake
- don't let cab drivers treat you like crap
- take the time to sit and listen
- sunrise/sunset are wonderful times of day. make a point of noticing.
- having a dog escort home at midnight is more amusing than confidence-inspiring, but it's still way better than nothing
- know enough of the language to be able to tell people you can't speak it
- spend more time experiencing than you do recording experiences

joy!

"it's not a party if it happens every night"
beg your pardon, postal service, but recent experience suggests the reverse.

things i'm celebrating:

a) getting a degree. because it's cool, but also because i finally really finished something. aces.
b) getting into grad school. because i can start making decisions and new mistakes.
c) spring. because it's warm(er). and rain, green, and flowers are good. and sun, too. sun is good.
d) going for walks with nancy, pat, kevin, and mike... going to tim hortons and listening to music and swinging and greeting strangers with them. 'cause wow.
e) staying in touch. it rocks my little world.
f) sushi and cake. four days in a row!!! (pretty sure the streak ends tomorrow)
g) getting through a mother's day without bad tears!!!! potentially the first time ever.
h) vegetables. i like them. i always have. which brings me to...
i) my parents, for better and for worse.
j) matcha. 'cause yum.
k) closure. because freedom is sweet.
l) is for the way you look at me... i mean... no that works, too. i'm celebrating unspoken things.
m) purple (toe)nail polish. do i even have to explain?
n) mangos and avocadoes. see above.
o) is for the only one i see... finding God in the midst of bewilderment and hurt and beauty.
p) touch. (angie! i miss you!!!)
q) poetry. in motion or standing still.
r) time set aside for people i care about.
s) the chance to go back to romania in two months. and to hit italy on the way.
t) rivers, oceans, lakes, and water in general.
u) nostalgia-inducing music. particularly oasis, rick astley, cranberries, and counting crows.
v) the human body, which is among the most beautiful things i've ever seen.
w) growth. my hair and my heart and my to-read list.
x) new things i'm going to see and hear and learn tomorrow.
y) because we like you.
z) sleep :-)

like rain

kat and rick are married now . . . to describe their wedding in a few words, it was the best of who they are, as individuals, as a couple, as a part of a community of love.
the hours of driving, getting lost, finding our way - both geographically and figuratively - with kevin and ross were priceless. and i hope it's just the beginning.
sometimes God listens.
or maybe it's just that sometimes i notice.
i am not worried . . . i am not overly concerned.

in no particular order . . .

g. mango hosted me last week . . . even though she never actually invited me to travel to vancouver, take over her bedroom, and eat her food, she was very nice about indulging me. also, she gave me a hug. just the one. i'm trying to make it last, like, a year. but that's looking . . . hard.

while visiting with the abovementioned mango, i had opportunity - for the second week in a row, mind you! - to pretend that i'm a grown woman. by which i mean, i cooked and cleaned and felt good about it. don't even call me sexist 'cause i'll knock you out faster than you can say "glazed carrots and asian asparagus on a bed of rice." anyway, i loved it and might even consider tossing out the whole grad school idea for a permanent "taking care of someone"-type role.

speaking of which, saw regent and vst last week, seeing mcmaster later this month. i'm asking questions like "ma or mdiv?" and "how much experience with traditional forms of ministry do i want to have before i commit myself to academia?" and "why am i so scared of people?" and such. i don't have to figure this out until next year, but please do start praying now. all of you. DO IT!!!

ahem.

ross, don't get too excited about your recent increase in hits. i keep going back to your little blog to listen to taking back sunday, whom i apparently love. even when they're just singing the word "miami" over and over again. who knew? also, i check up on kat's status each time. and if you wrote something, you know, personal, i'd read that, too.

i love my mommy and my sissy and i like my sissy's boyfriend. these are good things. also, strawberries and ice cream. also, sleep.

about that . . .

i'm it . . . but not in a stephen king kind of way

four jobs i've had:
1. receptionist at a spa-type place
2. sandwich artist at subway
3. office help for north york summer music school
4. clown/entertainer for kids' birthday parties
p.s. - i'm serious

four movies i can watch over and over:
1. pride and prejudice - a&e version
2. demolition man
3. thirteen days
4. star trek: first contact

four places i've lived:
1. bucharest, romania
2. peania, greece
3. toronto, ontario
4. calgary, alberta

four t.v. shows i love:
1. friends
2. csi: any version
3. law & order: original or svu
4. simpsons

four places i've vacationed:
1. tenerife, canary islands
2. catskill mountains, new york
3. st. adele, quebec
4. isla mujeres, mexico

four of my favourite dishes:
1. a white one with a pastel rainbow around the rim
2. my shiny black octogonal bowls
3. oh, you mean food? mashed potatoes and steak
4. mandarin chicken salad

four sites i visit daily:
1. hotmail.com
2. rmcmail.com
3. imdb.com
4. this one

four places i'd rather be right now:
1. at home in bed
2. at home on the couch
3. lying under a blanket in the fetal position
4. someplace where the world's not spinning quite so fast

four bloggers i am tagging:
i can't keep track of who's already done this . . . i'm tagging everyone who reads this!

sum up!

stolen from my friend, paul:
1) was 2005 a good year for you? yes and no . . . what a non-answer. relationships blossomed and significant growth occured this year and that wasn't easy. i guess "good" is an apt word.
2) what was your favorite moment of the year? supervising the bus back from camp with the calgary kids . . . i felt like i was doing something important. (for the record, every time someone came to me for advice or prayer comes in as a close second.)
3) what was your least favorite moment of the year? experiencing disappointment with all sorts of relationships
4) where were you when 2005 began? in toronto at my parents' house
5) who were you with? my parents and sissy
6) where will you be when 2005 ends? in calgary (just barely back from mexico)
7) who will you be with when 2005 ends? janet, jeremy, jill . . . others?
8) did you keep your new year's resolution of 2005? i had an "i want this but can't do it by my own willpower" wish . . . and it did come true.
9) do you have a new years' resolution for 2006? hmm . . . maybe another wish. working on it.
10) did you make any new friends in 2005? yessir . . . so good, so good.
11) who are your favourite new friends? steve, janet, jeremy, and jill
12) what was your favourite month of 2005? may - corini came to visit and i went to kelowna.
13) did you travel outside of canada in 2005? i will on Christmas eve!
14) whch states/provinces did you travel to in 2005? back and forth between alberta & ontario, with a wee trip to kelowna, bc, in may. and i'll hit houston on Christmas eve on my way to mexico.
15) did you lose anybody close to you in 2005? my friend brandon died in may
16) did you miss anybody in the past year? aplenty
17) what was the best movie you saw in 2005? i enjoyed rewatching "love actually", "the believer" and "the apartment" . . . new movie-wise, "madagascar" was fantastic
18) what was your favourite song from 2005? it's not new, but it's new to me:"hurt"
19) what was your favorite record/cd from 2005? i don't think i bought any new albums this year . . .
20) how many concerts did you see in 2005? i can only think of three, and two of them were school-related
21) did you have a favorite concert in 2005? omara portunondo
22) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005? not so much
23) did you do a lot of drugs in 2005? there was that one night with the nyquil . . . i wish i were kidding
24) did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? can you imagine 365 consecutive days of not doing something shame-worth??
25) what was the worst lie someone told you in 2005? none of them were life-threatening.
26) did you treat somebody badly in 2005? i have this pattern of knowing how to be good, but ignoring that :P i can be a lousy friend at times.
27) did somebody treat you badly in 2005? yeah. i work with residents.
28) how much money did you spend in 2005? every penny the alberta government will let me use.
29) what was your proudest moment of 2005? dealing with a boundary issue in my friendship with a guy. we were both uber-mature about it, and we're better friends now! :D
30) what was your most embarrassing moment of 2005? as if.
31) what would you change if you could go back in time to any moment of 2005? i would have written my papers already
32) what are your plans for 2006? i don't love plans, but how's this: find quiet, achieve balance, be diligent, keep at that compassion thing, read for fun . . . and see my sissy graduate (before me!)

most memorable . . .

it seemed such a simple plan: katrina and her brother james would drive from stouffville, pick me up, and we would meet up with sarah in grimsby at tehillah niagara. no sweat.

so, katrina and james took a wrong turn on the way to pick me up, thus getting us about 20 minutes behind schedule. no worries, though, because james was definitely gonna make up time on the way. after cruising down the 407 for a while, the incessant doorlocking and flickering lights got on our nerves, so we pulled over and proceeded to open and then slam every door, including the trunk. no dice. the machine gun/microwave popcorn sound continued. we decided to be mature and ignore it. 10 minutes into driving on the qew, we started wondering if we were going the right way - there were no relevant signs, and we were using directions, not a map. just as james was about to pull over to get gas and ask directions, katrina noticed that the exit numbers were getting closer to the one we needed: christie street. sweetness itself.

and, oh, look! now exit #71 is the next one! it is 7:01 and we can just see the light at the end of the tunnel! we're driving in the far left lane when the van begins to make very clear the fact that it is dry. no gas. james manages to get it to the shoulder, and we coast for while. after some ado, we lock the car and start walking toward the off-ramp, knowing that sarah will be at tehillah, car in tow, and will surely be able to help. walking, walking, walking. a car pulled over and offered us a ride after a few minutes, and it turned out the church was 2 minutes' drive away! sweetness part deux!

ok, so we get to lakemount, and sarah shows up a few minutes later. we tell her all that's happened, and she drives us to a gas station. the gas costs 94 cents! but they don't have gas cans, so that's not gonna work. we find another service station, where katrina and james buy two gas cans and pay only 83 cents for gas. savings: sweetness returns.

we finally arrive at tehillah, only 45 minutes late. the worship is cool, God is cooler, and mark gives an ab-fab message that i'll recount in another post. when worship starts up again (by which i mean we started singing again . . . i kinda hope the worship ran throughout) the four of us are just whispering about how far away niagara falls is. sarah say 25 minutes. sweet action!

off the niagara falls we went. we took off around 9:30 and got there about 10 . . . proceeding to engage in the north american ritual known as "searching for reasonably priced parking that doesn't involve leaving the car in the next county." it is about this time that we begin to wonder why we brought both vehicles . . . but, never you mind. finally, we ditch sarah's van faaaar away and katrina drives us to $5 parking. sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

apart from sarah, we're all starving. the cherries and pretzels we'd been munching on don't seem to constitute dinner. so before we actually go gawk at the falls, we duck into wendy's for some well-deserved grub. we get to the front of the line and hear those fatal words, "sorry, we don't take debit." BOTH of the atms in the vicinity are off-line. much frustration follows. nonetheless, we go and watch the beauty of falling water. i don't say it that way to minimize its beauty, but to point out a profound reality: something need not be complicated to be very very beautiful. sigh. the coloured lights are bouncing off the water as it crashes onto the rocks below, and we feel that we have finally achieved a goal we set out to accomplish. sweet success.

at this point, we'd given up on getting food in niagara falls proper, so we picked up katrina and james' car, drove to sarah, said a potential goodbye to sarah (in case we didn't find an appropriate place to eat between the falls and where our paths diverged) and . . . tried to find our way out. i will, in the future, complain less about the lack of much-needed signage in calgary. at least, when i complain i will not compare calgary to ontario. such comparison does nothing to further my point. after two or three false starts, we finally get on the right road and are soon in the warm embrace of queen elizabeth once again. wheeeee! how sweet it is to be loved by her.

we pass one or two service stops that have tim hortons because, obviously, we're holding out for a wendy's. the third stop has one! yayness itself! alas, it takes not debit. grrrr! they call this civilization?? the golden arches drive-thru, however, is more than happy to accept our money in any form, so we are soon fitted with assorted drinks and sandwiches, as well as fries. it was, as i expressed to my friends, like eating the holy grail. sweet sweet food.

we parted from sarah for real, and headed back on the road, our tummies happier. after several phone calls from family, and gathering up aaaaaaall my stuff, i finally got back to my parents' house. home sweet home.

i love adventures. no matter what goes wrong, i feel free and alive and have not a care in the world. awesome evening. so so sweet.