c is for clueless

there's been a bug going around and as a result i've had lots of bonus shifts at work. for instance, yesterday was my third straight overnight at charbonneau house. this one was planned at the very last minute and actually involved a bit of a morning shift the following day. the deal is that whoever's getting up with the core members for breakfast also takes the monitor for the night. basically, i can hear how nancy's doing and, at the touch of a button, can check on her. nancyvision!

i hadn't done this in a while, but when i lived at charbonneau it was my turn at least twice a week. so, obviously, i'm a pro.

as planned, i woke up for the 7am pee and went to wake nancy. she was reluctant, as usual, but followed me to the bathroom. when we were done there, i brought her back to her room, assuring her that someone would wake her up in the morning. she settled back on her (new!) bed and i returned to mine. before i tucked my groggy self in, i went to reset the alarm for my real wakeup, around 7:30. which was when i finally looked at the time.

it was 1:30am.

apparently, it wasn't my alarm that had woken me up! i'd just woken up on my own, assumed the alarm had gone off, and went along with the routine!

a hundred thoughts ran through my mind: "did i just dream that?! 'cause sometimes i daydream within dreams, and this could be one of those times... no, i'm pretty sure that really did just happen!!! what if she can't fall back asleep?! it's ok, we have some her sedative on standby! too bad we don't have a protocol for when assistants have sleep disturbances! should i still get her up again at 7 and then *again* at 9?! oh, also: are you stupid?!" though i was ducking and weaving, eventually sleep hit me.

fast forward to 7:30: i was packing up my stuff when i heard a thud downstairs. i hit the button on the monitor and *poof!* nancy wasn't there! jogging down the stairs, i wondered why her door alarm hadn't gone off. answer: houdini was sitting on the floor. just chillin'. i joined her in playing it cool, and pretended this was her normal 7am interlude from sleep. it all worked out fine, and she went back to sleep for nearly 2 hours. so forgiving!

in my life there have been plenty of nights when i woke up multiple times, worried that i might oversleep. before tests, trips, work. this was certainly the first time i assumed it was morning already.

what a way to (false) start the day!

edited to add:

first of all, given the dreams i forecast in my last post, i think my 1:30am adventure may have been rum-induced!

secondly, i wrote to my mom about all this, and this was her reply:
very funny! i hope you're not too worried about it. it can happen to anyone... remember how i once woke up in the middle of the night, tried to warm some milk in the microwave, and set the time starting with 416? or the night when i went for a glass of water, placed a cup under the light switch, and waited patiently?

b is for blended drink mix

the piña colada has long been my favourite blended drink. whether virgin or non- (technically a piñata colada), the sweet combination of tropical flavours is like an island getaway for my tastebuds. (this may come as a surprise to those who know that i typically avoid coconut, but i think that's mostly to do with texture, which isn't an issue here.)

every time i see my piña colada mix in the fridge, i ask myself that age-old question: "what would that taste like in muffin form?"

well, wonder no more! the answer is: freakin' awesome!!!

i'm pretty shameless about my secret to good muffins: using quaker muffin mix as the base. in this case, we begin with a plain bran muffin (10/3 cups of dry ingredients), and build (read: improvise!) from there! even when i'm making something more traditional, instead of following the package instructions and adding an egg, i often use a banana for binding - it's flavourful and gives us that exotic vegan factor... which also means no cholesterol.

incidentally, it also makes me feel like a spy because pat thinks she hates bananas. in reality, she loves my baking... as long as she doesn't know what went in. (it's like most people and anchovies! though i would *never* put those in muffins.) anyway, the point is that i have to hide what i'm doing whenever i bake at charbonneau house. feel free to debate the ethics of this.


the substitutions continued as i traded the water (4/3 cups) for an equal amount of pineapple juice. happily, many, many pineapple tidbits also jumped in there, along with a dash of that inspirational blended drink mix. (it doesn't take much to have a real impact! be careful!)

after filling up the lined muffin tins, i sprinkled sweetened medium coconut on top and baked for 20 minutes at 400 degrees. the coconut toasted beautfully.

after we had our evening prayer time and the muffins had cooled enough to hold their shape (and i had paced the floor sufficiently) they were ready to grace our table.

pat, kevin, mike, heide, and i dug in... and i think the verdict was unanimous:

loaded with flavour while light and moist, these muffins are keepers!

notes
- i've reconsidered the pineapple tidbits: using crushed pineapple in place of the water would have made more sense, structural-integrity-wise. the downside of crushed pineapple is that the consistency of the muffin would be more homogenous, and i like playing with textures. something to think about...
- for a more creative garnish, maybe half a maraschino cherry could be tucked into the top. something tells me that also sticking a little plastic sword in there might be too much!
- unless... two birds, one stone! what if i skewered pineapple tidbits and a cherry on a sword, and put it into the batter-filled muffin tin? would the muffin bake up to enfold the fruit? hmmm...


sweet dreams! i'll be spending mine dancing to reggae on a white sand beach... with an icy piña colada in hand, of course :)

a is for anchovy

i took the plunge!!! instead of heading straight home after jesus chicks class today, i let the bus take me down to the east side. at fortino's i rummaged around until i found anchovies in a tin.

(oh, i also picked up some actual produce, which is a lovely break from my frozen-focussed diet and will likely form the core of future posts.)

it's been a long time since i focussed on my little treehouse, so when i got home the first thing i did was clean my kitchen. ok, that's a lie: the first thing i did was sit on my kitchen floor and watch the last twenty minutes of juno. sigh :)

then, i cleaned. and theeeeen, i piled together the puttanesca ingredients. here, in quasi- sydney style, is what transpired:

with linguine or spaghetti, i have trouble tossin' it all together to really coat the pasta. last time, i made this with farfalle; today it was rotini's turn! after chopping the garlic and anchovies, i got them frying in the olive oil.
meanwhile, the raisins plumped in hot water. (i would have much preferred golden raisins here, but you gotta make lemonade, etc.) regardless of the type, the sweetness added by nature's candy is key.

the green and black olives, capers, basil, and canned diced tomatoes were on deck, and once the anchovies "dissolved" i threw everything in. the pine nuts toasted while the flavours mingled. (yes, it took two tries to toast without burning. as always.)

so, listen, some of the recipes called for a loooong simmer time, but amy's original instructions were not to cook but to heat the sauce. i split the difference and, soon enough, it was time to toss the sauce into the drained - but NOT rinsed - pasta.(lacking in the italian cheese department, i tore up some swiss cheese. less than authentic but super yummy!)

this dish continues to be phenomenal, and the anchovies did add a special touch. seriously, those hookers were onto something. try it yourself! (the dish, not prostitution, please.)

btw, in my anchovy research, i read that it's often included in sauces. you've probably been eating these fishies unawares! i guess that literally makes it the je ne sais quoi!

hooker's delight

ever since amy introduced me to puttanesca, this vegetarian and easily vegan pasta dish has been a favourite of mine. recently, two of the food blogs i enjoy have featured it: first, stacey offered her recipe: a combination of olive oil, anchovies, capers, garlic, black olives, and canned tomatoes over linguine or penne. then, not to be outdone, lori lynn posted her tweaks on stacey's take: she adds basil and red chili pepper flakes in the early stage and tops the pasta-and-sauce combo with a scoop of ricotta cheese, rather than parm.

while i'm trying to break out of my bizarre loyalty to original recipes, i really do love that amy's puttanesca also includes green olives, golden raisins, and toasted pine nuts. the bigger issue, however, is the whole anchovy fiasco.

first off, isn't it a little weird that these fishies *dissolve* when you cook them?! secondly, anchovies have a reputation: from sleepover friends to the babysitters club (though apparently kristy liked them!) to friends to the teenage mutant ninja turtles, so much of pop culture has told me they're gross. but, hey, come to think of it, mr. beastly was wrong about brussel sprouts - there *are* ways to make them so super tasty! - so maybe there's room for benefit of the doubt when it comes to wee salty fishes, too.

so, despite all that the strategic brainwashing and my aforementioned devotion to (my) traditions, i'm tentatively confident (is that contradictory?) that adding anchovies will be ok. afterall, as a kid i loved sardines. and there was also some kind of fish paste that we just spread on slices of bread? so this is prolly worth a try. maybe rather than making "lady of the night" pasta for lunch today, i'll wait until i can get to the grocery store and dig up some fishy friends.

do you like anchovies?

spoilin'

preamble: there's been a lot of foodtalk on here lately. a lot of talk in general, come to that. please allow me to 'splain: i'm intentionally sharing little day-to-day tidbits here, in order to avoid having to go to ridiculous ends in an effort to feel less lonely. when you read, you help prevent insanity. thank you! i certainly appreciate it.

soooo: saturday night. dinner at charbonneau house. this calls for "mmmm!" after a costco/sobey's run, twopointfive hours over a hot stove/oven/cutting board, and the potato-a-peelin' help of both kevin and mike, i laid the following on the table:

a) garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes: a recipe of martha stewart's, apparently.

b) orange asparagus with sesame seeds: standard fare.

c) big puffy oven pancake: one summer, when mom taught summer school, corina and i made this for her all the time. we found the recipe in the betty crocker kids cookbook. it's basically a 9" yorkshire puddin'!

d) mediterranean and raw beet salad with feta cheese: pretty! but i wouldn't repeat this with from-frozen veggies.

e) pot roast the most tender and tasty pot roast i've ever eaten devoured: granted, i haven't had all that much pot roast in my years but i swear it was objectively impressive. also in the roasting pan were stewed tomatoes, carrots, onions, mushroom soup, and love. these added so many nuanced and delicious flavours, as well as forming a superb, if liquidy, gravy. a little cornstarch goes a long way :)

i may have also served ice cream an hour later. a little overboard? maybe. but i was so thrilled that nancy stayed for prayer (and chose a nice reading) that i felt ok about spoiling them a bit.

oh, my. i'm so ready to be a granny.

life and pi

have i mentioned that cori and james are getting married in two months? on march 14th? which is pi day? so, here's my thing: which of the following corollaries is the funniest?
a) their wedding is gonna be rad!!!
b) see? commitment is irrational!
c) their marriage will last forever, never repeating itself... new adventures always around the corner :)

form v. function

when i was twelve and took family studies, i had to prepare a recipe at home and my parents had to mark it. my dad's only criticism of my brownies was the presentation. by contrast, my christmas eve appetizer plates were pretty enough, but didn't feel... warm.

come to think of it, most (of my) comfort foods aren't all that lovely to look at: chilis, stews, mamalia (cornmeal), sarmale (cabbage rolls), mashed potatoes. even classier things like risotto don't attract the eye.

prof. mealey once implied that the trend toward clean lines and metal/glass combos in home furnishings betrayed our society's departure from vulnerability and embrace of sterile interactions. we want our homes to look like pristine palaces, far from the human stain.

i smell a false dichotomy between form and function.

i want to hope that things can offer both comfort and beauty. because maybe then i can aspire to both, too.

friendship

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake.

And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more...

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."
~2009

"In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The Government will not assail you. You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors....

We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."
~1861

cinq

five little updates:
1) the only laptop keys that still won't work are x, g, and one of my shift keys, with v bein' occasionally stubborn. gonna give it a week before decidin' what to do. a whole lot of my verbs are now soundin' southern. :)
2) reelin' from thinkin' way too much about gender politics. this semester is gonna hurt.
3) went to wendy's for lunch with my two department colleagues... so now i miss the quartet so very much. the theology girls, too, but i miss the guys more acutely because jamie and nathan are both (gentle?)men.
4) something, whatever, let's move on to #5 because...
5) cori and james set a date! feel free to send them a wedding pi(e)! :D

to celebrate, i'm off to reheat sarmale and read more about women in the early church...

triumphs and catastrophes

i successfully made mamaliga for the very first time! well, depending on how we're defining "success," i suppose. the mamaliga was great - texture and taste spot on - and we've still got sarmale in the freezer, so my supper was yummy.


but...
downside #1: kinda scalded my hand.
downside #2: totally spilled cornmealy water all over my keyboard. about a quarter cup. i'm typing using the on-screen keyboard, ytxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxheiuopwise i]ytxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx would look like t]yxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhis. :9

i've heard that, like diamonds, water damage is forever. looks like i'm in the market for a new laptop... a spree i was hoping to indulge in neeeext spring, when i graduate. :(

recommendations/sympathetic glances/donations/shoulders to cry on... all very welcome! or should i say "xveiuop]y iuopewrlcome"?

oh, p.s. yeah, i'm an idiot.

the little things

feeling grumpy, icky, and a little guilty about the selfishness those two things often inspire in me, i tried to sleep away the ride into toronto.

no dice.

suddenly, i sat up in my seat and blinked. and blinked again. i may have even rubbed my tired eyes. but it was there, for real: just ahead of the bus was a car with my name on the vanity license plate! i stared, agog, for a minute... long enough that by the time i'd grabbed my camera out of my bag it was too late. i leaned back and pondered.

so often i can't make sense of the world around me. it seems that the way i think is completely foreign to everyone else. and vice versa. and not just the way i think, but the way i feel. that's not to say that there aren't people in my life i can share myself with, because there really are. i have go-to people for various areas of my life, and i accept some degree of "specialization" as normal.

but the truth is that i don't live my life in discrete pockets. my ambivalence about gender politics, the texture of eggplant, our old street in bucharest, nancy teasing me about her nail polish, the smell of a london fog, scars, hopes, joys, doubts... they're all connected. you can't understand one without the others.

i often feel like i'm in the centre of a venn diagram. all alone.

the thing is, though... i'm having trouble convincing myself that seeing my name on someone else's car - so suddenly, so randomly - doesn't change anything.

butter, where have you been all my life?

i grew up in margarine family. as food prep has become a bigger part of my life, butter has only ever really shown up in baking. i've never been all that convinced that the taste could be so very different. most of the people who are always talking up butter (calling the flavour "nutty" and all that) also refer to spice as "heat" and do all sorts of other equally pretentious things.

seriously??? i have so been missing out! olive oil is swell, but... wow.

as part of my lunch today, i prepared zucchini ribbons. the recipe appeared before my eyes when i followed one of the auto-generated links after dave's intro to the first! ever! real mexican food in k-w.

it called for red chili flakes, but i subbed in minced chilies, since i had some left over from the other night. as soon as i threw the chilies and garlic into the melted butter, the smell drove me insane! so fragrant and lovely! then it was just a matter of adding the zucchini ribbons (fashioned with a y-shaped vegetable peeler) and a little paprika and parmesan cheese! so super!

i also fried up some mushrooms with basil (not that super) and threw together a quick tuna salad - no mayo, just toasted sesame dressing, leafy things, and pine nuts. to drink, there was the obligatory fizzy water with caramel colour :)

p.s. josh responded to the post below.

timeless to me...

josh, remember when we all used to stand in the parking lot on tuesday nights and talk for hours? (one of those times i convinced you that conversations about sex didn't have to be dirty! remember?) anyway, no one wanted to be the first to suggest finding a coffee shop because then we'd be committing to the conversation. and, in reality, none of us really had that kind of time to "waste," so we just froze and got snowed on.

it's the same with me and the things i really love, like hanging out at charbonneau house or really cooking a meal or seeing a movie in theatres or making cards. it's hard to plan for those when there's so very much to do. but it's easy to waste hours playing tetris. very messed up.

one of the most startling (and dysfunctional) characteristics of my first semester at grad school was the amount of time i spent on things i didn't care about, at the expense of things i really love. so i'm trying to budget my time better. and i'm trying to find helpful time-wasters. liiiike, "ok, if you're not going to work on readings, you have to edit corina's resume/clean the apartment/work out." by giving myself fruitful options for procrastination, it turns into a win-win. (to a point.)

today, i really cooked lunch. and in five minutes, i'm going to edit that position paper on women's ordination. and it feels so nice to be checking good things off my list :)

btw, i hate to tip my hand, but these two bacontainers look so amazing i had to spread the news: bowl or cup?

tastes like sweet, sweet procrastination...

a) sarah's back from holidays!
b) sydney over at the crepes of wrath featured a gorgeous photo of honey ginger chicken! and a recipe, too!
c) i have a tonne of reading to do, along with wrapping up a position paper on the ordination of women!

this calls for cooking!

i invited myself over to charbonneau house and fed the seven of us with the honey ginger chicken (with some amendments) as well as noodles, stirfry veggies, and apple pecan strudel. mmmm... amendments :)

while sydney convinced me not to be afraid of fish sauce, i still couldn't find any at no frills. maybe it's a frill? i subbed in watered-down soy sauce, and that made the sauce much darker than the inspirational photo. additionally, the charbonneau gang can't take a lot of heat, so i cut back on the ginger and chilies *substantially*, going down to only 1/4 of what the recipe called for. even so, the chicken was loaded with flavour! brimming, even!

after removing the thighs from the sauce, i added water to the pot, boiled it, and then threw in 3 packs of instant noodles. meanwhile, i stirfried europe's best zen veggies in some sesame oil and tossed in some toasted sesame seeds. this main course definitely bears repeating, preferably with (not so scary) fish sauce and the appropriate amount of heat.



the strudels were really straightforward, despite being my first adventure with phyllo pastry! i'd like to try baking something similar from almost-scratch some time, because in this case i used apple pie filling, pecan pieces, and bread crumbs. i sprinkled a little mozza inside and outside one of the strudels, because i love the way cheese interplays with fruit. the result was a delicious dessert that flirts with a range of textures and manages to satisfy the sweettooth without being overpowering.


(sorry for the fuzziness. fyi: mike's camera stinks.)

manifesto

and one day we will die
and our ashes will fly
from the aeroplane over the sea
but for now we are young
let us lay in the sun
and count every beautiful thing we can see
love to be
in the arms of all i'm keeping here with me
~neutral milk hotel

(thanks, paul)

homemmmmmmmade

i've decided to stop translating: plăcintă de clătite cu spanac just isn't the same as spinach crepe florentine anymore.

also, it's mămăligă, not corn mush (or polenta), they're sarmale, not cabbage rolls, and i'm craving salată de vinete, not babaganoush.

to say nothing of ciulama, şniţel, clătite, and icre.

it just isn't the same in english.

so, as james would say, pour me "un strop de borsec" and pass the authenticity.

meta-jaded?

proposition>> i am becoming an old grouch.

supporting evidence>>
exhibit a: teenagers in movie theatres almost universally annoy me.
exhibit b: i think of undergrads as youngsters.
exhibit c: youngster pretension isn't cute to me.

evidence to the contrary>>
exhibit a: dude, teenagers in movie theatres annoyed you when you *were* a teenager.
exhibit b: you sound like a four-year-old when you see a rabbit. ahem: "bunniiiiies!!!"
exhibit c: you spent several seconds today reflecting on how much you enjoyed the shade
of green used for traffic lights. (dude, it's seriously beautiful!)

while the jury deliberates... lemme tell you what i heard on the bus today. two women ("youngsters," if you will) were chatting at a volume which, while not outright annoying, was high enough to distract me from malone's rants against patriarchy. not that this is a difficult task. (the distracting, not the talking loudly.) among complaints about the cost of textbooks and the bureaucracy that is osap, they began to discuss a mutual acquaintance.

----
arts student>> do you know what he says to end a conversation? like, instead of "goodbye"?
science student>> no...
arts>> he says, "have fun!"
science>> really?!
arts>> yeah, it pisses me off!!!
science>> well, i say that, too, if someone's going off to do something interesting. or, sarcastically, if they're going off to do something uninteresting.
arts>> yeah, ok, that's fine. it's about something specific or it's sarcastic, that's fine. but he says it all the time! it just sounds flippy!* like, have fun doing what?
----
* i'm not making that up. other parts are kinda paraphrased, but she definitely, definitely used the word "flippy."

i'm so over early-twenties-jadedness. maybe i'm jaded about jadedness. but, dude, joy is so much better than all that trash. and isn't it potentially awesome that your friend wishes that you'd have fun, whatever you may be doing next?

maybe i'm biased, though, because my parents have typically bade me farewell as follows:
mom>> be good!
dad>> have fun!
i really like taking their advice. especially in combination :)

no damn book...

sound bites

overheard at a southasian new year's eve party in just-barely-scarborough, ontario...

monica>> happy halloween! i mean--

---

pictionary team captain>> ok, i choose mara!
pritim>> yo, that's good, man... choose people who can speak english.

---

me>> white people have feelings, too, you know!

and now, the first five songs of 2009 (minus the music at last night's party)
1) où aller où? - tiken jah fakoly
et puis je me souviens
que dans cet ouragan
on m’a tendu la main
mais elle portait des gants

2) happy boys and happy girls - aqua
i don't want to waste my time on simple little things
i'd rather stay here all the night with everyone who sings!
happy boys and happy girls, we'll be
we are the happy boys and girls
happy boys and happy girls, we'll be
so happy!

3) say it right - nelly furtado
from my mouth
i could sing you
another brick
that i laid

4) in the light - dc talk
honesty becomes me
(there's nothing left to lose)

5) the bare necessities - phil harris
and don't spend your time lookin' around
for something you want
that can't be found.
when you find out you can live without it
and go along, not thinking about it,
i'll tell you something true:
the bare necessities of life will come to you!

do you see why i don't argue with jiminy (my ipod)?