my unshopping list

a) packs of condoms from costco
b) pregnancy tests from the dollar joint

just fyi.

linger

i found the most beautiful dress in the world today. truly. a corner of it caught my eye and i was ensorcelled. a middle-aged woman was nearly trampled as i was drawn to the far corner of the rack. gingerly, i took the material between my fingers and pushed the other dresses aside.

ivory flowed for miles, framed by a deep, life-giving red.
the beading was tasteful, elegant.
i gazed at the rich simplicity in awe.

it was so beautiful.

pulling myself away took tremendous self-control.

and i began to think about beauty: the way it invites and captivates me. the way being on victoria lake or watching the northern lights or flying into an albertan sunset overwhelms me because it passes understanding. i cannot bring it into myself. not fully. it is too much. and yet i cannot abandon it...

beauty woos me to itself and my heart hurts when i am parted from it. just being in its presence - daring to gaze, even to reach out to touch it - fills me with joy. and my little life means something because it has embraced beauty... i couldn't wrap my arms all the way around, but i did take a corner between my fingers and sigh.

those lingering moments with the most beautiful dress on earth changed my day. everyone and everything around me grew more lovely in the glow of what i had beheld.

with a bed above my head

ikea guy: can one of you hold the roof racks so they're perpendicular to the van?
sharon: yeah, mara will do that, 'cause she went to university and she knows what perpendicular means.

[later, grappling with roof straps...]
me: so, does anyone need any greek translated?
ikea guy: you have a degree but you don't know how to use straps?
sharon: yeah, we've already established that was more theoretical than practical.
me: hey, for the record, i can put the ikea stuff together... i just can't get it home.

through my myopic eyes darkly

though the glare of the city was sufficient to light our walk, the rocks underfoot remained blurry. as i stooped and squinted, it seemed to me that this was kinda the point: fumbling in the dark, trying to find something that will be beautiful when brought into the light.