on any given day, i'm attaching value to the people, books, experiences, songs, ideas, and pygmy menu items i interact with. they are worth something to me. today, ross and michelle and i were talking about how you determine what something/someone is worth. ross said that, when it comes to buying things, he considers how many hours of work he has to put in to get it. if, in return for working a particular shift, his boss gave him a particular product instead of cash, would he be ok with that?
over lunch, some of us were talking about kids. steve joked that he and his wife will sit down, plan out their lives, and figure out which span of 18 years is most rational for child-rearing. i quipped, "hmm . . . i think i'm ok with completely surrendering my autonomy and agenda for these eighteen years!" i don't know much, but i'm confident that having children is never convenient. it is always always always a sacrifice.
during my reading of genesis just now, an old story struck me in a new way: jacob meets a beautiful woman - it's his cousin, but let's ignore that for the moment - and falls in love with her. his uncle says, "i'll hire you as a shepherd! name your wages!" jacob says, "let me work seven years in exchange for marrying rachel."
i get that there are things about this that should offend me: women being treated like chattel, etc. but, in light of the conversations i had earlier today, i wasn't offended. i was moved. the writer of genesis says that the seven years felt like only a few days to jacob.
oh, to be loved like that. and, what's more: to love like that.
3 comments:
Your thought about Jacob completely hit home with me. Ironically enough, I am reading a novel right now called "Church Folk" (fabulous so far, I will let you know if it turns into a must read)and while reading it on the way home just an hour ago, it touched on pretty much the same idea, but with reference to the verse in Corinthians where it says men must love thier wives the way Christ loves the Church.
I will have to think about it more. Meditate on it, if you will. Sacrificial love.
i don't think [at least i hope?] that people don't have kids with the idea that it's this huge sacrifice... seems to me like people have kids 'cause they want to, and then maybe the sacrificial bit comes in later. i'd be way less upset by a man working in a crappy job for seven years to marry me [and that's saying a lot, considering how angry i get with boys crushing] than if my parents thought they were doing something noble by having me.
but then, what do i know about having babies?
Indeed
I like tothiink this might be true for both of those loves. What am I willing to give for my (invisible) spouse, and am i willing to give to and for my children. I think that is what makes good parents. Like it or not, there is a sacrifice involved, there is time, money, freedom etc etc, but are the children themselves a worthwhile reward for those sacrifices. I think that is what makes excellent parents.
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