joy! joy! joy!

after a long wait, good news at last: i've received acceptances from five law schools so far, two of them in the top tier!

when i opened the first exciting envelope (the fourth envelope of the five), i blinked. it starts with "congratulations"... does it go on to say "no, thanks"? it didn't! looks like i'll be a law student after all! look out world!

as i told my parents, drank champagne, made my phone calls, sent text messages, and eagerly awaited a skype conversation, i felt a little like jane bennet.

it's been over a year now of preparing and writing and rewriting and rewriting and hoping and receiving devastating news and crying and regrouping... and finding so much love and support and faith around me. my family, my friends, my professors and employers who wrote recommendations for me... they shared in my low times with me and pushed me to keep at it. i am so happy to be able to bring you all joy by sharing my very good news.

i can't even begin to express how grateful i am.

applique

update: i've applied to a law school in the states under early decision and am holding off on further applications until i hear back from them, which should be by the end of the month. that way i don't invest money in applications that may be irrelevant come october 1st.

it's a little weird to be in this breathing space. but i'm learning to just enjoy it while it lasts.

1913 - 2010

i stopped checking messages because i didn't want to hear the news without my parents. i lay in bed last night, and i thought, "what if he's already gone?"

and, as it turned out, he was.

"ninety-seven is a ripe old age" but you always hope for more time, more opportunities to be together.

it's weird to hear other people talk about him, to read news coverage that describes him as a national figure, a party leader, a signatory on an important letter... he's just papaşa.

a letter

dear luck,

you may remember that i invoked you in a brief message to idris, dated 13 may 2010. it's attached below, but basically in that missive i articulated my anticipation of your impending successful navigation to his doorstep.

and, within a week, he had both a job offer and an interview for another job! now, that's some kind of successful navigation! well done, you! your orienteering skills are second to none!

in recent weeks, you have also taken the time to visit both of my brothers-in-law and my younger sister. you've been very busy and even on two continents your knack for finding folks has proven itself flawless. i certainly appreciate your timely arrival at the doorsteps of people about whom i care so deeply. as you well know, i'm a big fan of yours and these particular people deserve all the you in the world.

but, dear luck, i occasionally worry that you have lost your way en route to me. i feel i've completed all the necessary preparations for your arrival - laid out all your favourite fingerfoods, put fresh linens in the guestroom, and all that - but, alas, i have yet to be honoured by your presence.

are you lost? because if you're using mapquest that could be the problem right there. sometimes that site is a little misleading. maybe you should try googlemaps. and turn the gps on, just to be on the safe side. please?

was it something i did? 'cause whatever it was, i'm sorry. i hope you can forgive me and we can move past this soon. to be honest, hard work, perseverance, and wit have done all they can, and it's really starting to look like it's sort of up to you now.

somewhat-patiently, ever-hopefully, a-little-bit-desperately,
~m


----------
to: idris
from: ~m
sent: 13.05.2010, 9:45 p.m.

luck will find you.

can't believe the news today

i want my city back.

read more here.

:)

from way across the ocean, my little sissy asked me why i was smiling. in response, i offer this partial list of my reasons for glee:

- haircuts
- sushi
- defenses and convocations
- job postings and auditions
- pub trivia successes
- a mom who takes care of me when i sacrifice part of my finger to the mandolin* gods
- a boyfriend who listens and is teaching me when to stop talking
- friends who have big! changes! going on in their lives
- the impending return of little sissy and her husband!
- seeing nyc for the first time soon
- big sissy's wedding in june!
- cats
- diet coke
- phone calls with michelle
- apples and peanut butter
- a pink sweater
- dibs

oooh... dibs! see ya!

* the vegetable slicer, not the musical instrument

thesised!

my thesis was due yesterday... and i submitted it on friday! woo-hoo! i've already found things to correct, but i'm ok with that.

here's my foreword, in case any of you find that sort of thing interesting :-)

In the weeks before the first draft of this thesis was submitted, a senior Canadian diplomat, formerly assigned to Afghanistan, made some startling allegations. Robert Colvin claimed that in 2006 and 2007 he had tried to inform his government that suspects apprehended by Canadian forces and handed over to Afghani authorities were likely being tortured. These allegations spurred a political circus, a parsing of memos sent by Colvin to his superiors, and denials by high-ranking generals. In the face of their own potential complicity in the torture of Afghani citizens, Canadians responded in a variety of ways. On 30 November 2009, one letter to the editor of the Globe and Mail implied that the quotidian lives of Canadians had nothing to do with those of Taliban collaborators. “What a non-issue,” wrote Gordon Friedrich.

Here, forty years later, was a descendant of so many men and women I had encountered in the pages of the United Church Observer and The Canadian Mennonite. While the academic stakes of this project are described in its formal introduction, the ideology implicit in that Globe letter compels me to reflect on the practical impact of my work.

The Vietnam War invited all Canadians to consider the degree to which their seemingly innocuous actions constituted complicity in the assault of vulnerable people. One need not be a Christian to grasp that our common human experience binds us to one another. Even apart from that fundamental spiritual kinship, however, we now have extraordinary grounds for leading lives defined by extraordinary compassion. We live in a complex eco-political network, and our interconnectedness refuses to be dismissed as the figment of a sentimental imagination; it is an undeniable reality, documented by copious paper-trails.

As voters, as tax-payers, as inventors and proliferators of goods and ideas, and as consumers, our decisions cause not ripples but tidal waves throughout the world and, for the first time, we can track them. The advent of modern telecommunications has given us access to an unprecedented volume of information about one another, at an unprecedented speed. None of us can lay claim to innocence on the grounds that we are ignorant: more than at any other time in the history of our species, we in the developed world are equipped to understand the suffering of others and our complicity therein. As a result, the very definition of “neighbour” has dramatically changed.

By documenting the moral crises Canadians underwent during the Vietnam War, I hope to move the discussion forward, so that as we redefine “neighbour,” we may also redefine our politics.

can't believe the news today

apart from a brief mention of my disappointment with the possibility that our military might have enabled afghani authorities to torture suspected terrorists (read: random people), i haven't talked a lot about international affairs lately.  i want to take a minute to mention what happened on friday.

on 29 january 2010, around 9:45 est, the supreme court of canada handed down its ruling on the omar khadr case. this young man has been held by american authorities since he was fifteen. he is canadian-born, but was taken to afghanistan by his father at the age of 11. four years later, in 2002, during a skirmish with american forces in afghanistan, he was shot and then allegedly threw a hand grenade, killing an american soldier. (that soldier had medical training, so this is often reported as the murder of an american medic.)

since he has been in guantanamo, khadr has been tortured. the canadian government, under both the liberals and the conservatives, has been mostly silent on the matter. they did go and interrogate him early on, while he was victim to the "frequent flyer" program - being shifted from room to room every few hours so that you can't actually sleep. ever. so, when canada was involved, it tacitly endorsed the treatment he was receiving.

given the fact that he has been held for seven years *without trial*, it should come as no surprise that there has been a movement to seek khadr's repatriation. his lawyers are, of course, part of that movement. intervening in the case on his behalf were:

amnesty international, human rights watch, the university of toronto faculty of law, international human rights program, david asper centre for constitutional rights, canadian coalition for the rights of children, justice for children and youth, british columbia civil liberties association, criminal lawyers' association, canadian bar association, lawyers without borders canada, barreau du quebec, group d'etude en droits et libertes de la faculte de droit de l'universite laval, canadian civil liberties association, and national council for the protection of canadians abroad.

all bleeding hearts? i think not.

the issue is complicated: does a fifteen-year-old qualify as a child soldier when war hasn't been declared and when he's not wearing a uniform? will khadr face trial if he is repatriated? is it within the scc's jurisdiction to intervene in "foreign affairs"?

on friday, the supreme court of canada held that khadr's charge against the canadian government was sound:

"Canada actively participated in a process contrary to its international human rights obligations and contributed to K’s ongoing detention so as to deprive him of his right to liberty and security of the person, guaranteed by s. 7 of the Charter, not in accordance with the principles of fundamental justice...There is a sufficient connection between the government’s participation in the illegal process and the deprivation of K’s liberty and security of the person.  While the U.S. is the primary source of the deprivation, it is reasonable to infer from the uncontradicted evidence before the Court that the statements taken by Canadian officials are contributing to K’s continued detention.  The deprivation of K’s right to liberty and security of the person is not in accordance with the principles of fundamental justice.  The interrogation of a youth detained without access to counsel, to elicit statements about serious criminal charges while knowing that the youth had been subjected to sleep deprivation and while knowing that the fruits of the interrogations would be shared with the prosecutors, offends the most basic Canadian standards about the treatment of detained youth suspects."

(the full decision can be found here! i urge you to read it!)

i have seen several troubling things happen in my country over the last few years. our prime minister pretends to be "tough on crime" and does what he can to take away judges' discretion. for instance, he advocated for minimum sentences in child molestation cases. when some people (i.e. the bloc quebecois) disagreed with him, he used *government funds* to paint them as pedophile sympathizers. never mind that lots of legal authorities have problems with the whole idea of minimum sentences!

harper has also undermined judges' discretion by introducing "truth in sentencing" legislation. judges would no longer be permitted to give (up to) 2-for-1 credit for time already served while awaiting trial. this is time that *alleged* criminals spend in *crowded, unsanitary* conditions, while they are *presumed innocent.* one of the functions of the 2-for-1 credit is to create a powerful disincentive for prosecutorial stalling. it helps ensure a speedy(ish) trial - a right guaranteed to all those charged under canadian law.

but, no.

also, maybe the state has the right to seek out your internet browsing history without a warrant.

also, maybe csis can tap your lawyer's phones and monitor your calls.

also, we may or may not have been involved in the torture of afghanis... but it doesn't really matter.

i don't recognize us anymore! when g.w. bush was re-elected, i was agog. if we let the same thing happen, i will actually weep. but i feel like this shouldn't have to wait until an election, you know? somehow, we have to care enough about justice today.

only... how?

(photo from theglobeandmail.com)

picture this

2009...

it was to be a year of weddings, renewed friendships, goodbyes, and hellos...

cori got married and we danced.

i finished my course work and carried an orange balloon.

i turned 28 and made an awesome cake.

i went to the bahamas and studied for the lsat.

i went to collingwood and played on the swings with nancy and pat.

i said goodbye to cori and made her a cake.

mon got married and we danced.

i got my lsat score and nearly wept with joy.

i went all out for hallowe'en but no one else did!

while on a research trip, i commemorated the 20th anniversary of the fall of the berlin wall.

i celebrated the holidays with more "family" than ever before - friends so close they're family, my little sister's in-laws, distant cousins in london, my little sister, her husband, and my parents. and i missed my older sister and her fiance.

there was a lot more in there... new ideas, new areas of research, major life decisions (like applying to law school), terrible disappointments (the detainee allegations and the recent proroguing of parliament rank high, but there were personal ones, too). but there was growth. and there were good tears.

not bad for a year's work. on to the next!

o is for otta-otta wa-wa

there really isn't enough internet ink to describe my "weekend" in ottawa. i was there for a mennonite central committee student seminar - pursuing security in an insecure world.

aside from the formal agenda, there was time to eat sushi with heather, look for a dress for corina's wedding (no luck!), gawk at ice sculptures, try my first beavertail, enjoy a good steak, and catch up with mel for the first time in nearly two years! the weekend was jam-packed and wonderful, apart from snow bullets, puddles, bitter wind, and the fact that the tv in our room stopped working after i watched american's best dance crew.

but back to the seminar... it covered food security, poverty in canada, principles of non-violence, and restorative justice. we ate butter chicken and shawarma and chatted about khadr, fair trade, and obamamania. i was offended by the candy sold at the war museum's gift shop and the elevator broke while we were in the peace tower on parliament hill. there was a lot in there to think about, but i'll just share three:

one: a long trek through the snow led us to the war museum, where we wandered independently, at our own pace. on the way to the four galleries, there's a display of photographs depicting battlefields from the first world war. they're downright brilliant - the colours, the clarity, the composition. and this deeply disturbed me. when i take photos of nancy, kevin, michael, and pat, they often don't turn out very well. it's hard to capture on (digital) film the beauty i see in my friends at l'arche, because that beauty isn't always aesthetic. by contrast, these battlefields - the sites of countless bloody, torturous deaths - were absolutely, even devastatingly, gorgeous. the irony was almost palpable.

two: finally, something occurred to me at the war museum as well as during the tour of parliament, after we'd spent a little time in the memorial chamber. my thought was, is there room for expansion? has the museum set aside space for a gallery devoted to future wars? where will the names of the 108 soldiers who have died in afghanistan go?

there's something deeply disturbing about the need to make room for reminders of future death and devestation. that question's been haunting me. maybe in a good way.

three: the last gallery in the museum is a catch-all, covering everything since world war ii. one creative display featured music videos of some songs addressing the cold war: genesis, u2, elton john, the scorpions, and so on. who knew that the final countdown was not so much about magic tricks as it was about mutually assured destruction? (wait... given gob's mad skillz, those two might not be so different.)



another of the songs on the list was nena's 99 luftballoons. the (english) lyrics are super - all the more so if you've read the backstory.

friendship

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake.

And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more...

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."
~2009

"In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The Government will not assail you. You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors....

We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."
~1861

cinq

five little updates:
1) the only laptop keys that still won't work are x, g, and one of my shift keys, with v bein' occasionally stubborn. gonna give it a week before decidin' what to do. a whole lot of my verbs are now soundin' southern. :)
2) reelin' from thinkin' way too much about gender politics. this semester is gonna hurt.
3) went to wendy's for lunch with my two department colleagues... so now i miss the quartet so very much. the theology girls, too, but i miss the guys more acutely because jamie and nathan are both (gentle?)men.
4) something, whatever, let's move on to #5 because...
5) cori and james set a date! feel free to send them a wedding pi(e)! :D

to celebrate, i'm off to reheat sarmale and read more about women in the early church...

10x1000=2008

beware the ides of march

operation: losing it proudly presents: bitter rejection part 14, featuring kung fu mcmaster

operation: get a grip proudly presents: mara's butt: now smaller than ever before*
*in recent memory

gotta take the bad with the good :-)

bad news/good news

so it begins: homelessness is effectively outlawed in calgary.

in other news: maybe i'm growing up. and growing into something cool. i'm hoping it's in the general direction of Christlikeness.

"somehow life is hallowed because God did it, too."
~michelle

unconscionable

help me understand: why does the nationality of the casualties play a role in one's position on the middle east crisis? a civilian is a civilian is a civilian. if you support a nation's right to defend itself at the expense of civilian lives - which i don't - that support should be independent of who dies in the process.

but i'm sure that those who are pressuring the pm are just as concerned about the other foreign nationals whose lives are at risk, not to mention the innocent lebanese and israelis caught in the cross-fire.

p.s. i watched an old marx brothers movie called "duck soup" the other day . . . it had been years since i last saw it. anyway, the "we're going to war" scene felt morbidly inappropriate. particularly the line about how "all God's children got guns."

undeniable

to paraphrase jon stewart, welcome to world war three.

for reasons passing understanding [read: possibly related to money], rick salutin's excellent article in the globe and mail cannot be found online in its entirety. here's a teaser, to get you started. this article alone is worth the buck you might have to spend on today's paper. trust me on this one.

peruse your newspaper -- ow!
by rick salutin
friday, july 14, 2006

so this is where the "war on terror" has got us. look through your morning paper: gaza, lebanon, iraq, iran, afghanistan, mumbai. it's "crisis overload," squeal the overstimulated tv anchors. how did it happen? i'd say it's a result of treating 9/11 as a supreme menace on its own, rather than largely determined by other factors. i guess that places me among the "root-causes people," a term implying lack of toughness, like vegan or pacifist.

for the record, i believe in treating symptoms, not just causes. but treating a symptom while ignoring its cause is benighted. and pouring resources into treating a symptom while exacerbating its cause(s) -- that is lunatic.

salutin goes on to explain: "i'm hyperventilating because the obsessive focus on terror isn't just a waste of money or a form of dishonesty. it also increases the incidence of terror."

so so worth the read.

p.s. last night, stephen colbert said, "it's true because it rhymes." i'm pretty sure i get royalties.

offend someone today . . .

. . . at least you'll know you're doing something.

also, start reading larknews, 'cause i simply can't quote all the funny stories for you. but here's one:

church celebrates fifty years of peace through irrelevance
cincinnati - rolling hills christian church has spent fifty years diligently cultivating a good neighbor image, and this week they celebrated their spiritual irrelevance and moral acquiescence with a sunday morning festival.

"we get along perfectly with everybody in the community," said pastor james doheny before climbing into the dunk tank. "peace is our value of choice."
during the celebration the mayor lauded the church for being "a friend of the entire city."

"there's not one negative thing that could be said about this church, and the citizens of cincinnati appreciate that," he said.

doheny thanked the congregation through tears, and promised to lead the church toward "fifty more years of benign accommodation."

go and do likewise. or, you know, not.

why i'm not in love with "focus on the family"

this from the june 27th issue of time magazine:

This week, after a six-week barrage of allegations, the Air Force is expected to release a report based on more than 300 interviews, addressing charges that the academy is rife with an officially encouraged religious evangelization. Critics say the behaviors violated the Constitution and Department of Defense regulations--and threatened troop unity by teaching future commanders overt religious favoritism.

-snip-

Taken together, the complaints suggest evangelical saturation. They claim that mandatory gatherings often opened with prayers and that some professors actively recruited cadets to join evangelical churches.

-snip-

[Weida] established a call-and-response routine at campus events . . . The cheer was . . . intended to provoke curiosity among non-Evangelicals and start conversations about Christ. If so, it also verbally erased any distinction between loyalty to the Air Force and to Weida's God.

-snip-

. . . cadets who did not attend chapel were known as the "heathen flight" . . .

-snip-

Tom Minnery, public-policy head of James Dobson's Focus on the Family, based in Colorado Springs, argues that "cadets are trained to give the ultimate sacrifice. They ought to be encouraged to grapple with the ultimate meaning in life, and they ought to be encouraged to make a decision about God, one way or another."

trying my best to come up with words that have more than four letters . . . ok, here goes:
it is just this kind of inappropriate use of influence, this indoctrination-based approach to serving, that makes people think that Christians are only out to assimilate the masses. this kind of garbage has to stop. there are creative and effective means of engaging in dialogue about God which neither alienate those who disagree nor abuse the positions of influence or power we may find ourselves in. fred buechner discusses this in "now and then" . . . but i can't even go there right now. suffice it to say that if we don't clean up our acts, we can expect to be denied opportunity to do any good at all.