lsat 101: conditional statements

welcome to lsat 101!

today we'll be covering conditional statements. consider the following:

if it rains, i will bring an umbrella.
this means that if you see me without an umbrella, it must not have rained. let's symbolize that:

rain -> umbrella
~umbrella -> ~rain

now this one:

"only experts can recognize a phony work of art."
that means that *if* you can recognize a phony, *then* you must be an expert.

recognize phony -> expert
~expert -> ~recognize phony

now, if you're like me, you watch "glee."
(like m -> watch "glee")

and this week they sang "only the good die young"
if you're even more like me, you immediately think of the conditional statement this billy joel tune implies:

die young -> good
~good -> ~die young

2421 sunrises and sunsets

welcome to my 500th post! this milestone will be commemorated with a nod to the main genres of blogpost we have seen here at "can you hear the sound of laughter..."

the mundane (yet somehow bizarre):
i was just stung by a bee in my basement. at just after midnight. while i was trying to iron my shirt. on my left ring toe. no - i wasn't trying to iron my shirt on my toe... that's just where the bee stung me. this probably means i'm in for a feverish dream.

the momentous:
today i graduate for the fourth time in my life, and officially add the letters "m.a." to the end of my name - instead of just the beginning. there's an awful lot of hard work buried in those two little letters! finishing things is so good!

the miraculous:
michelle and idris are joining my parents in the audience at the convocation ceremony, and all four of them are making significant sacrifices to be there. i am loved, and i know it.

the mmmm:
there will be caramel crunch cake and champagne when we come home tonight! yum and sigh.

the musing:
what's next?

hodgepodge

as a result of a solar conspiracy of unprecedented proportions, it looked like it was fifteen degrees outside today! it was somehow easier to put up with the crazy wind and the minus five because... well, isn't blue the best colour for a sky? i asks ya!

i submitted a draft of my thesis last night and, though it wasn't everything i'd hoped it would be, i'm reasonably happy with its progress. it'll be super by the end of the month, and i look forward to defending it in march. i even have shoes to wear for the defense! :-D

it's been a while since i've talked about my cooking adventures, and there have been two notable ones: first, i made clementine cookies that pretty much rocked my world. they were based on sydney's lemon sugar cookies and made the entire kitchen smell like satsuma. these will certainly be repeated! the same week, i baked some berry muffins with oatmeal, cherry yogurt, and orange juice in them. while they tasted like a good morning, the blackberries were a little seedy and made some bites a little awkward. i think i'll stick with bluebreeze and raspbreeze in the future.

in other news, i'm seriously considering playing the euphonium once in a while. when no one is at home, bien sur.

finally, do yourself a favour: cook up some minced pork, rent the bill murray classic, and make your groundhog day a special one. i know i will!

fa la la la la!

out with the old year,
in with the new!
january's nearly here,
december's nearly through!
though we don't know where the time has flown,
it obviously flew... so

out with the old year,
out with the old year,
out with the old year,
in with the new!

fa la la la lalalalala,
fa la la la la!

~"out with the old year," from the "adventures in odyssey" christmas album

christmas gift (w)rap

it's christmas eve and woe is me,
gotta do some shoppin' in a big hurry,
gotta make a list, gotta check it twice,
gotta read the ads, gotta ask advice
better start right now, better start today,
gonna be in trouble if i delay,
just look outside at all that snow,
got the christmas spirit
HO HO HO!

gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop -
shop-doo-op!

look in my wallet, what do i see,
empty space staring back at me.
check my pockets, news is bad,
can't go shoppin' 'til i talk to dad.
ask him nice for a little loan,
some collateral to call my own,
then FA LA LA, i'm out of here,
to spread a little christmas cheer!

gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop -
shop-doo-op!

how 'bout a watch for my brother bob,
he's always late for his downtown job,
a fruitcake for my aunt eileen,
she's a REAL fruitcake if you know what i mean,
there's mom and dad, and uncle smitty,
and all those cousins in kansas city,
the list gets longer, every day,
jing-jing-jingle, i'm on my way!

gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop -
shop-doo-op!

hurry home to wrap and tie,
st. nick will be here by and by,
pile those presents on the floor,
light the tree and lock the door,
tiptoe off to fall in bed,
sugarplums dancing in my head,
can't wait 'til christmas comes, but then
i can't wait 'til i go shopping again!

gotta shop, shop,

gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop, shop,
gotta shop -
shop-doo-op!



~ huron street public school christmas pageant, 1991

corina and i can still recite most of this by heart :)

where the brilliant ideas are...

in case it wasn't intuitively obvious from my last post, i've been spending a whole lot of time working at a coffee shop lately. namely, a starbucks at a certain chapters near my house.

sometimes i feel guilty about being here: at first, i would get a (vanilla rooibos, loose-leaf in a bag!) tea in the morning, ask to have it topped up with more hot water a few hours later, then have a snack or lunch, and finally a (vanilla rooibos, loose-leaf in a bag!) tea latte in the afternoon. then i started bringing my lunch and snack from home. they let me stay, which i really appreciate. (for all i know, the staff is just uncomfortable asking people to please spend more than $7 if they're going to hang out all day and use their power outlets.) in any case, it works out well for me, but i feel awful when people are lookin' for a place to sit.

incidentally, even $7 a day (plus transit) isn't cheap. if you click on the ads on the left, you can help me pay for my "office"! :) i'll even put a little sign on my table that says, "paid for, in part, by..." i swear i will.

the thing is, i get work done at an alarming rate when i'm here! there are fewer distractions and i only have internet access for 2 hours. plus, the very act of getting up and out of the house helps put me in the right frame of mind for productivity. (fact: i could never be self-employed.) listening to "glee" constantly also seems to help. it's predictable (there are only twenty tracks, at this point) and cheerful. my mom actually describes the show as my way of recovering from hours and hours of being immersed in the gory details of the vietnam war and the infuriating selfishness of certain corners of the mennonite and united churches.

she may have a point. it's hard to be too upset about tiger cages when you're listening to this:


what helps you get work done?

joyful, joyful...

i know this is terribly novel, but i may be addicted to glee. this undoubtedly comes as a shock, given that i cry *every* time i watch sister act. (granted, this show is more in the style of the sequel.)

anywho, it's superclever, the music is sweet, and jane lynch is a genius. i especially dig that rachel works out to "break my stride" because, as some of you may remember, i do, too.

additionally, i need to work out a normal sleep schedule.

and so, goodnight unto you all.

10

this song popped up on my ipod the other day and i was struck by how well it described the way i felt about god, particularly toward the end of those ten years...



these parts especially resonated:

i sang your songs, i danced your dance
i gave your friends all a chance
but putting up with them
wasn't worth never having you*...

well, if i was in your position
i'd put down all my ammunition
i'd wonder why'd it'd taken me so long

but lord knows that i'm not you
and if i was, i wouldn't be so cruel
'cause waitin' on love ain't so easy to do

(*not in a blanket sense. but, yes, this resonates profoundly)

the music video makes me wonder whether i'd like to turn back time. and in many ways, i would. my life would be very different if i hadn't begun attending church in 1997. my career path, my family life, my friendships. but maybe i'm better for having arrived here the way i did. maybe it's ok to go down some painful paths, because otherwise you'd always be wondering about them. plus, i have met some wonderful people and learned some crucial lessons along the way.

in fact, i know i'm more compassionate to those who disagree with me than i used to be. maybe that just comes with growing up and caring less about "winning." or maybe spending ten years thinking a lot about character and integrity and sacrifice and kindness and truth and beauty has been good for my soul. so it's not so much about regret as... cutting my losses.

d. and i are speaking again, which is to say that he's arguing with me again. and i now realize what my sister was talking about when she said, "all christians seem to care about is whether i'm a christian." again, a blanket statement, so not quite accurate. but still... it hints at something real. and silly. and even a little painful.

there are a few things i'm an evangelist for: lars and the real girl, asparagus, chick peas, the west wing, toronto's ravines, and some social justice issues. but i hope i always, always care more about the people i'm talking to than i do about being right.

v e pentru viaţă, care este şi grea şi frumoasă!*

* v is for life, which is both hard and beautiful!

o is for otta-otta wa-wa

there really isn't enough internet ink to describe my "weekend" in ottawa. i was there for a mennonite central committee student seminar - pursuing security in an insecure world.

aside from the formal agenda, there was time to eat sushi with heather, look for a dress for corina's wedding (no luck!), gawk at ice sculptures, try my first beavertail, enjoy a good steak, and catch up with mel for the first time in nearly two years! the weekend was jam-packed and wonderful, apart from snow bullets, puddles, bitter wind, and the fact that the tv in our room stopped working after i watched american's best dance crew.

but back to the seminar... it covered food security, poverty in canada, principles of non-violence, and restorative justice. we ate butter chicken and shawarma and chatted about khadr, fair trade, and obamamania. i was offended by the candy sold at the war museum's gift shop and the elevator broke while we were in the peace tower on parliament hill. there was a lot in there to think about, but i'll just share three:

one: a long trek through the snow led us to the war museum, where we wandered independently, at our own pace. on the way to the four galleries, there's a display of photographs depicting battlefields from the first world war. they're downright brilliant - the colours, the clarity, the composition. and this deeply disturbed me. when i take photos of nancy, kevin, michael, and pat, they often don't turn out very well. it's hard to capture on (digital) film the beauty i see in my friends at l'arche, because that beauty isn't always aesthetic. by contrast, these battlefields - the sites of countless bloody, torturous deaths - were absolutely, even devastatingly, gorgeous. the irony was almost palpable.

two: finally, something occurred to me at the war museum as well as during the tour of parliament, after we'd spent a little time in the memorial chamber. my thought was, is there room for expansion? has the museum set aside space for a gallery devoted to future wars? where will the names of the 108 soldiers who have died in afghanistan go?

there's something deeply disturbing about the need to make room for reminders of future death and devestation. that question's been haunting me. maybe in a good way.

three: the last gallery in the museum is a catch-all, covering everything since world war ii. one creative display featured music videos of some songs addressing the cold war: genesis, u2, elton john, the scorpions, and so on. who knew that the final countdown was not so much about magic tricks as it was about mutually assured destruction? (wait... given gob's mad skillz, those two might not be so different.)



another of the songs on the list was nena's 99 luftballoons. the (english) lyrics are super - all the more so if you've read the backstory.

n is for nightmare

over the last few months, my dreams have gotten more vivid. they've always been pretty weird, but they've become more detailed and memorable. and emotional.

a couple of nights ago, i couldn't sleep because of a bad storm - my windows are pretty lousy, and the wind made an enormous racket. i lay awake for about two hours, holding wesley close and fighting to find slumber again... but i also had a lot on my mind, and the coincidence of storms within and without left me sleepless.

since then my sleep's been quite shallow. (i know this because elements of "the west wing" have snuck in, which means i could hear the dvds playing on my laptop.) i've decided to avoid naps from now on because they leave me grouchy and throw off my clock even more.

last night, i dreamt that a bunch of us were being held at gunpoint in my parents' house. i managed to sneak away and kept trying to call 911 as i ran down the snowy road toward the main street. i misdialed. my fingers fumbled, my cellphone locked. it rang and rang and no one picked up. i begged the people i passed to get help, but they waved me off.

i was simply overcome with helplessness and anxiety. how overcome? well, this morning i found mystery bruises. also, one of my teeth is slightly chipped. my desire for genuine rest is taking a turn for the desperate.

she's talking in her sleep -
it's keepin' me awake,
and anna begins to toss and turn,
and every word is nonsense, but i understand...
~ counting crows, "anna begins"

m is for mandolins and memories

this song has defined so many moments in my life... listening to it feels like a solid, all-enveloping hug from a faithful friend. i remember that chris hated it and ross and i bonded over it and that adam duritz rocks my world. you know, when he's not busy killing me softly with his song.

when kindness falls like rain...

(start at the one minute mark)

i is for irony

there are episodes of the west wing that are inextricably linked to episodes in my own life. i started watching the show during the summer before the second season. the first episode i ever saw was celestial navigation. i missed the first hour of the brilliant season premiere (in the shadow of two gunmen), and came home waiting for the second hour to finish, so i could watch the tape from beginning to end. that was my first year in university, and i never missed a night. often, my family would watch with me.

between the second and third seasons, along with the tragedy of 9/11, my family imploded. i remember watching isaac and ishmael at the mcarthurs', shortly after we had moved in. having people over to our apartment to watch the women of qumar. calling ildiko and screaming in her ear after commencement.

between the fourth and fifth seasons, i moved to alberta. while sleeping on the couch in front of angie's computer, i dreamt about zoey bartlet's abduction. i stopped watching on a regular basis after aaron sorkin and thomas schlamme left the show, but read about it once in a while. finally, in 2007, i bought all seven seasons on dvd. i'm often in the process of rewatching them in order.

the last episode i watched with my family was two cathedrals. i don't remember who else was there, but i know dad was. it's a very emotional episode: in the wake of a devestating personal loss, president bartlet reveals to the world that he has had an undisclosed disease for eight years. in the mix, he ponders re-election and questions his faith.

two scenes especially stand out: first, bartlet standing in the midst of national cathedral, cursing God in latin. second, bartlet making his way from the white house, post-revelation, to the press conference. dire straits plays "brothers in arms" in the background, and the faces of the staffers remind us how much is riding on the question he will undoubtedly be asked by reporters: will you be seeking a second term?

my dad and i debated the pseudo-cliffhanger in may. by the time it was resolved in late september, we were no longer watching together.

the reasons why my family imploded weren't simple. and the last eight years have been a long process of healing without talking about it. at first, some of the reasons just weren't a point of friction anymore. then, surprisingly, some of the reasons simply ceased to exist.

we were actually talking about that on the way home from dinner last night. just me and dad. i said, "i'm not sure how it happened, and i didn't plan on it happening." we pulled into the driveway and he elbowed me playfully. "well, i'm glad it did."

i don't know if i'm glad it happened. i don't really know what's happening at all. but as we watched "the west wing" later that night - the few episodes i'd brought with me simply because they were next - i was consumed by the irony of watching bartlet curse in latin and listening to dire straits... with my dad. again.

these mist covered mountains
are a home now for me
but my home is the lowlands
and always will be
some day you'll return to
your valleys and your farms
and you'll no longer burn
to be brothers in arms
~ dire straits

p.s. i gave dad that irony shirt a while ago... he has iron issues.

g is (taken) for granted

following my recent laptop catastrophe/calamity/tragedy, gepetto and i held hands and proceded through the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) with grace and humour. it's been a difficult process, but we've leaned on each other and have great hope that the healing will continue.

but scars will remain, and one of the most marked is the now defunct letter g. consider: it's right there, in the middle of keyboard, begging to be used! and so very many participles rely on it! i can't even call gepetto's name without it!

the irony is that i have been teased for my pronunication of (hard) g's on more than one occasion, and since this catastrophic and calamitous tragedy, my class notes and emails have resembled a southern hymnbook.

so, in memory of my recent loss, i offer a brief (and by no means comprehensive) list of other things i take for granted, in the hopes that by naming them now they won't decide to crap out on me in the spirit of that immortal principle: "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."

- big yellow taxis
- the letter x, the key for which is also not working
- the shift+f7 (the thesaurus function) which has helped me avoid that letter while enhancing my vocabulary
- platelets and white blood cells. (all blood cells, really, but those white ones have been doing a bang-up job lately!) i'm a klutz of sorts, and have really put these little guys to work over the years: overtime, called back from holidays, you name it.
- music
- forgiveness. a handful of people in my life have been very, very kind to me, tolerating more than they should have, because they had hope for me. and loved me. and were capable of giving, even in their hurt.
- equality. i've never actually felt discriminated against for being a woman or an immigrant... and i'm realizing the degree to which my experience is a function of the particular time and place in which i live. it's quite crazy. and humbling.
- time
- colours. especially blue, green, and persimmon. and purple. they feel like beauty to me.
- money. it's always come, somehow or other.
- literacy
- bobby pins. i rarely reuse one, because i'm quite careless about putting them away when i take them out... also, i destroy them. it's a nervous habit.
- today

e is for effervescent

neutral milk hotel reminding me to name the beauty.
berries, coconuts, peppermint rubbed into my skin and hair.
one bathrobe, two slippers, three candles, forethought.
the weightlessness. how does water do that?
clutching my tall blue/brown mug... sweet, rich, warm chocolate sliding down my throat.
wet tresses on my shoulders.
the sound of the bath salts when they hit the bubbles.

i heard and felt the bathbomb disintegrate, and effervescence became an unspeakably attractive option.

manifesto

and one day we will die
and our ashes will fly
from the aeroplane over the sea
but for now we are young
let us lay in the sun
and count every beautiful thing we can see
love to be
in the arms of all i'm keeping here with me
~neutral milk hotel

(thanks, paul)

sound bites

overheard at a southasian new year's eve party in just-barely-scarborough, ontario...

monica>> happy halloween! i mean--

---

pictionary team captain>> ok, i choose mara!
pritim>> yo, that's good, man... choose people who can speak english.

---

me>> white people have feelings, too, you know!

and now, the first five songs of 2009 (minus the music at last night's party)
1) où aller où? - tiken jah fakoly
et puis je me souviens
que dans cet ouragan
on m’a tendu la main
mais elle portait des gants

2) happy boys and happy girls - aqua
i don't want to waste my time on simple little things
i'd rather stay here all the night with everyone who sings!
happy boys and happy girls, we'll be
we are the happy boys and girls
happy boys and happy girls, we'll be
so happy!

3) say it right - nelly furtado
from my mouth
i could sing you
another brick
that i laid

4) in the light - dc talk
honesty becomes me
(there's nothing left to lose)

5) the bare necessities - phil harris
and don't spend your time lookin' around
for something you want
that can't be found.
when you find out you can live without it
and go along, not thinking about it,
i'll tell you something true:
the bare necessities of life will come to you!

do you see why i don't argue with jiminy (my ipod)?

play it again...

a friend of a friend challenged his blog's audience to consider what their most frequently listened to songs reveal.

#1 - "another kind of green" by john mayer trio
this is a distillation of exactly what i would want to hear from the man i'm with. even the blackjack allusion is perfect.


#2 - "speed of trees" by ellis paul
i hold this song in tension with the freedom and taste for adventure that love inspire in me... i don't think we have to decide. but "i've grown a head full of make believe" is still a beautiful line.



#3 - "the world ain't slowing down" by ellis paul
like a sad smile, paul's poetry makes me feel that i am not alone in the craziness... it even helps me laugh along.


#4 - "ordinary day" by great big sea
also my ring tone, it's an energizing reminder that it's all going to be ok and there's so much to be grateful for!


#5 - "you can't always get what you want" by band from tv
hugh laurie singing greg house's theme song and mine...

strumming

"rhapsody in blue" is lovely all the way through, and it seems to end just when it should. how do artists know when the painting or song or poem is finished, anyway? i'm really asking.

i listened to my favourite piece today... and thought, again, about how school should start in spring. and we should defend our theses in fall, with the harvest. and then we'd beat pathetic fallacy because the long hard hours of slaving away would be brightened by sunshine and winter would be warmed by breaks from school.

i have pedagogy and epistemology on my mind today. and i'm thinking about interconnectedness and holistic analysis.

i'm excited about mining archives and worried about paying for these research trips (even though they're local-ish).

i'm wondering if culture really does have intrinsic value or if we're just defensive.

i'm hoping they turn the heat on soon, too. i imagine that might be cozier.

i'm remembering that "lovers in a dangerous time" is still an incredible poem. and so is "hallelujah." and so is "stopping in the woods on a snowy evening."

and i have miles to go before i sleep.

an elegant little proof

the best things happen while you're dancing:
things that you would not do at home come naturally on the floor.
for dancing soon becomes romancing,
when you hold a girl in your arms that you've never held before.

even guys with two left feet
come out alright if the girl is sweet -
if by chance their cheeks should meet
while dancing.

proving that the best things happen while you dance...

q.e.d.

(danny kaye, "white christmas")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZXYYfHICSc