i've been up for seven hours. yikes. accomplished thusfar:
- brokered a peace agreement with nancy, who eventually went back to bed
- started a load of laundry
- re-viewed two episodes of "house"
- helped nancy with her first bathroom trip and put her back to bed
- started the coffee pot
- started another load of laundry
- said "gooooood morning!" to mike and pat and administered meds
- bathed, dressed, and put my hair in pigtails
- went outside to hang the washcloths on the line
- took care of a dead mouse i found in the backyard
- said "have a nice day!" to mike (i missed pat.)
- read most of the june 2008 issue of flare
- emptied the dishwasher
- said "gooood morning!" to nancy, administered meds, and helped her with breakfast
- said "gooood morning!" to kevin and adminstered meds
- helped nancy pick out clothes
- filled the dishwasher
- washed med cups, pots, and tupperware
- said "have a nice day!" to kevin and nancy
- boiled med cups
- cleaned counters and swept the floor
- tidied the living room
- came upstairs and stared for a bit
- tidied my room
- made this list
next:
- breakfast!!!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
an open letter
dear men in my life,
i don't even know how to begin. it seems like the last few years have afforded me countless opportunities to witness crimes against the very soul of masculinity. and i want to say something to you, because i have heard stories, i have read theory, and i'm devastated.
we live in a world that tells men they have to conquer, even to kill, in order to prove their worth. sometimes it's figurative, but it's always insidious. we live in a world where being a man means valuing ideas over people, control over compassion, and power above all. as far as engaging the world, a perverse hybrid of hedonism and stoicism is the way to go. oh, and women are meant to be used. and it's not just soldiers who hear this... it's kind of all of us.
there are brands of feminism that are trying to sell the same package to women, because equality means being equally powerful. because power is the only currency we deal in.
i'm profoundly shaken.
and i wanted to say... look, i'm not blind to the real battles we all face, as individuals and corporately. i'm just questioning our strategy, which seems to be self-destruction. and i want you to know that what i value so very much about you is not your domination of others, but your self-giving love for those around you. and when you use whatever power you've stumbled upon to raise up the poor, the weak, and the broken, you inspire me to hope.
and hope seems to be what we need right now.
p.s. craig, you told me first. i can never thank you enough.
i don't even know how to begin. it seems like the last few years have afforded me countless opportunities to witness crimes against the very soul of masculinity. and i want to say something to you, because i have heard stories, i have read theory, and i'm devastated.
we live in a world that tells men they have to conquer, even to kill, in order to prove their worth. sometimes it's figurative, but it's always insidious. we live in a world where being a man means valuing ideas over people, control over compassion, and power above all. as far as engaging the world, a perverse hybrid of hedonism and stoicism is the way to go. oh, and women are meant to be used. and it's not just soldiers who hear this... it's kind of all of us.
there are brands of feminism that are trying to sell the same package to women, because equality means being equally powerful. because power is the only currency we deal in.
i'm profoundly shaken.
and i wanted to say... look, i'm not blind to the real battles we all face, as individuals and corporately. i'm just questioning our strategy, which seems to be self-destruction. and i want you to know that what i value so very much about you is not your domination of others, but your self-giving love for those around you. and when you use whatever power you've stumbled upon to raise up the poor, the weak, and the broken, you inspire me to hope.
and hope seems to be what we need right now.
p.s. craig, you told me first. i can never thank you enough.
Monday, May 19, 2008
regarding caspian
today i joined the mounds of lewis fans who crowded theatres to consume this summer's ration of narnia chronicles. i wanted to write out a few of my reflections, both positive and negative. if you've seen it, please weigh in!
bad news first... my top 10 issues:
10) romance between susan and caspian. just no. ok?
9) no real "repentance" scene for susan and peter, which was internally consistent (see 5, below) but sad. i love aslan in that scene.
8) competitive tension between peter and caspian. this was explicitly not the case in the book: peter assured the telmarine heir that the pevensies were just there to help, and that he had no ambitions to the throne.
7) along the same lines, an uber-ambitious, vengeful caspian. who is this guy? in the book he never imagined launching an attack on miraz until the centaur called for it. he wasn't enough of a kid here.
6) two words: mexican standoff. oh, four more and some punctuation: are you kidding me?!?!?!!?
5) the decision not to follow lucy's vision of aslan was treated very lightly, which was quite disappointing. this was a crisis in the book, almost a crucible for the pevensies.
4) the ecological bent of lewis' work was tragically underplayed. all but gone gone was the telmarine fear of trees and water, which was to be contrasted with the narnian way. there was some depiction of telmarine industry, but this wasn't enough for me.
3) dropping this line: "you come from lord adam and lady eve, and that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. be content.”
2) dropping this line: "wouldn't it be dreadful if some day, in our own world, at home, men started going wild inside, like the animals here, and still looked like men so that you’d never know which were which?"
1) not enough cuddling with aslan. i'm not kidding.
nice changes:
- including the white witch. i'm more than ok with it, 'cause it revealed important things. and because ed was the one to deal with it, and that seemed to heal up some issues from lw&w
- "for narnia" vs. "for aslan" - sweet and very much in keeping with lewis' themes. i like it very, very much.
ambivalence:
- the battle at the telmarine castle. just not sure how i feel about that change.
criage:
- war freaking tears me up right now. when the gate came down after that battle? i cried and cried. just bad. there's prolly another note coming about that.
bad news first... my top 10 issues:
10) romance between susan and caspian. just no. ok?
9) no real "repentance" scene for susan and peter, which was internally consistent (see 5, below) but sad. i love aslan in that scene.
8) competitive tension between peter and caspian. this was explicitly not the case in the book: peter assured the telmarine heir that the pevensies were just there to help, and that he had no ambitions to the throne.
7) along the same lines, an uber-ambitious, vengeful caspian. who is this guy? in the book he never imagined launching an attack on miraz until the centaur called for it. he wasn't enough of a kid here.
6) two words: mexican standoff. oh, four more and some punctuation: are you kidding me?!?!?!!?
5) the decision not to follow lucy's vision of aslan was treated very lightly, which was quite disappointing. this was a crisis in the book, almost a crucible for the pevensies.
4) the ecological bent of lewis' work was tragically underplayed. all but gone gone was the telmarine fear of trees and water, which was to be contrasted with the narnian way. there was some depiction of telmarine industry, but this wasn't enough for me.
3) dropping this line: "you come from lord adam and lady eve, and that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. be content.”
2) dropping this line: "wouldn't it be dreadful if some day, in our own world, at home, men started going wild inside, like the animals here, and still looked like men so that you’d never know which were which?"
1) not enough cuddling with aslan. i'm not kidding.
nice changes:
- including the white witch. i'm more than ok with it, 'cause it revealed important things. and because ed was the one to deal with it, and that seemed to heal up some issues from lw&w
- "for narnia" vs. "for aslan" - sweet and very much in keeping with lewis' themes. i like it very, very much.
ambivalence:
- the battle at the telmarine castle. just not sure how i feel about that change.
criage:
- war freaking tears me up right now. when the gate came down after that battle? i cried and cried. just bad. there's prolly another note coming about that.
Monday, May 12, 2008
joy!
"it's not a party if it happens every night"
beg your pardon, postal service, but recent experience suggests the reverse.
things i'm celebrating:
a) getting a degree. because it's cool, but also because i finally really finished something. aces.
b) getting into grad school. because i can start making decisions and new mistakes.
c) spring. because it's warm(er). and rain, green, and flowers are good. and sun, too. sun is good.
d) going for walks with nancy, pat, kevin, and mike... going to tim hortons and listening to music and swinging and greeting strangers with them. 'cause wow.
e) staying in touch. it rocks my little world.
f) sushi and cake. four days in a row!!! (pretty sure the streak ends tomorrow)
g) getting through a mother's day without bad tears!!!! potentially the first time ever.
h) vegetables. i like them. i always have. which brings me to...
i) my parents, for better and for worse.
j) matcha. 'cause yum.
k) closure. because freedom is sweet.
l) is for the way you look at me... i mean... no that works, too. i'm celebrating unspoken things.
m) purple (toe)nail polish. do i even have to explain?
n) mangos and avocadoes. see above.
o) is for the only one i see... finding God in the midst of bewilderment and hurt and beauty.
p) touch. (angie! i miss you!!!)
q) poetry. in motion or standing still.
r) time set aside for people i care about.
s) the chance to go back to romania in two months. and to hit italy on the way.
t) rivers, oceans, lakes, and water in general.
u) nostalgia-inducing music. particularly oasis, rick astley, cranberries, and counting crows.
v) the human body, which is among the most beautiful things i've ever seen.
w) growth. my hair and my heart and my to-read list.
x) new things i'm going to see and hear and learn tomorrow.
y) because we like you.
z) sleep :-)
beg your pardon, postal service, but recent experience suggests the reverse.
things i'm celebrating:
a) getting a degree. because it's cool, but also because i finally really finished something. aces.
b) getting into grad school. because i can start making decisions and new mistakes.
c) spring. because it's warm(er). and rain, green, and flowers are good. and sun, too. sun is good.
d) going for walks with nancy, pat, kevin, and mike... going to tim hortons and listening to music and swinging and greeting strangers with them. 'cause wow.
e) staying in touch. it rocks my little world.
f) sushi and cake. four days in a row!!! (pretty sure the streak ends tomorrow)
g) getting through a mother's day without bad tears!!!! potentially the first time ever.
h) vegetables. i like them. i always have. which brings me to...
i) my parents, for better and for worse.
j) matcha. 'cause yum.
k) closure. because freedom is sweet.
l) is for the way you look at me... i mean... no that works, too. i'm celebrating unspoken things.
m) purple (toe)nail polish. do i even have to explain?
n) mangos and avocadoes. see above.
o) is for the only one i see... finding God in the midst of bewilderment and hurt and beauty.
p) touch. (angie! i miss you!!!)
q) poetry. in motion or standing still.
r) time set aside for people i care about.
s) the chance to go back to romania in two months. and to hit italy on the way.
t) rivers, oceans, lakes, and water in general.
u) nostalgia-inducing music. particularly oasis, rick astley, cranberries, and counting crows.
v) the human body, which is among the most beautiful things i've ever seen.
w) growth. my hair and my heart and my to-read list.
x) new things i'm going to see and hear and learn tomorrow.
y) because we like you.
z) sleep :-)
Monday, May 05, 2008
Saturday, May 03, 2008
his heart upon my sleeve
///beauty///conceive me as a dream of stone:
my breast, where mortals come to grief,
is made to prompt all poets' love,
mute and noble as matter itself.
with snow for flesh, with ice for heart,
i sit on high, an unguessed sphinx
begrudging acts that alter forms;
i never laugh, i never weep.
in studious awe the poets brood
before my monumental pose
aped from the proudest pedestal,
and to bind these docile lovers fasti freeze the world in a perfect mirror:
the timeless light of my wide eyes.
~charles baudelaire
this is the exact antithesis to my view of beauty. but i still love the shirt.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)