i long . . .

to be scared and yet to fight.
to learn to drive, to thrive, to strive.
to really write.
to be generous - invite, not bite.
to walk with my mom, sing with my sister, talk with my dad.
to collect sunsets, swingsets, butterfly nets, sunrises, surprises.
to ditch the disguises.
to read for pleasure and for pain, to play in the rain.
to chase horizons and kids and breezes.
to laugh with the twilight when it teases.
to pray and dance and swim . . . and all with Him.
to look out, and in, and everywhere.
to stay in touch, but not so much that i stop missing.
to be alone, to be silent, to be whole.
to set a goal.
to fail, to wail, to go slower than the slowest snail and so
to see what i had always hurried by before . . . but no more?
to rewind, unbind, and there find healing.
to know and trust - and not just nod - that nothing is impossible with God.