rethinking

You've probably heard it said that worship is a way of life, an attitude of the heart. Romans 12:1 tells us as much: "present your bodies as living sacrifices, for this is your spiritual act of worship." Whatever your list of "worship duties", none of it compares to laying your life down at the feet of God. But what does that look like?

Last March, a friend of mine found out he had leukemia. At 23 years old, he was given three to six months to live. When he died two months later, I struggled with God. Brandon had had dreams and goals that were never accomplished. Wasn't God supposed to give us the desires of our heart? We're not even talking about crazy dreams - he wanted to get married, to have a family and to be a youth pastor! Isn't that good stuff that God wants for us? I couldn't understand why God would cut his life short. I still don't.

But after spending the whole summer thinking about all this, here's what I came up with: God made us to dream. There's never going to be a time when I run out of dreams. In reality, there's never going to be a point when I can say, "Alright, God. I'm done now. There's nothing left that I want to do." I have my agenda, and it's an endless list of noble, wonderful things I want to get done in my life. I have my agenda, and as long as I cling to it, death will never be welcome. I have my agenda . . . but it's possible that God's may be different.

The truth is, my most important agenda item is checked off: I gave my life over to God almost eight years ago. When I did that, I was supposed to give Him my agenda, too. Not as a wish list, but rather with the words "please, edit this!" scribbled across the top. It's not my agenda that matters anymore, it's God's. When He's done all He wants to do in and through my life, I want the way I die to bring Him glory, too.

It comes to this: I'm ready to go when God says so.