standing on my tippy-toes in georgian bay, i propped nancy up. her shoulders leaned against mine as her legs floated toward the horizon. only the occasional wave interrupted her laughter. the gurgling was just as sweet, though.
it was the most fun i'd ever had with her. actually, it ranks pretty high on my list of recent joyful moments. and that's at least partly because i didn't extrapolate.
back when i was at camp, i'd enjoy every little bit of being around kids: the creativity it demanded, the humour, the spontaneity, the license to act silly. but a part of me always leaned forward. it sighed and said, "i can't wait 'til i can do this with my own kids."
in the water with nancy, i knew there were parallels to parenting. but, to be honest, i was too busy loving that moment to think past it. being right there was just so very good.
tonight i'm remembering other instances of being present: the last year has brought suds fights with alice, chats with kevin, pat's cat imitation, my first time helping doris and rosie, touching foreheads with mr. goto, breaking bad news to sandi, building furniture with mike. countless hugs and laughs that all meld together now but at the time were each worlds in themselves.
it's not that l'arche is magical, you know. i'm finding it easier to just be in other areas of my life, too. to open my eyes and heart and just let life show me. to experience meaning instead of trying to manufacture it.
to let my legs float toward the horizon as i lean back, trusting that i won't sink.
"a single moment in time can be a universe in itself, full of powerful forces. most people aren't aware enough of the now to even notice."
(st:insurrection)
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