Friday, February 16, 2007

stumbling home

after tony the beat poet says something profound, donald miller says, it was obvious that something beautiful and true had hit the table with a thud (118).

that's how i feel about orthodoxy with a capital o. and, despite the fact that sometimes the thud is so loud that i pull away, i'm slowly heading back in that direction.

monday is the first day of great lent. after a year of having people question my motives all over the place, it's nice to know i do it, too: the lenten fast means my eating will change drastically for the next forty days or so. i know the real reason i'm doing this, but it doesn't take a genius to realize that there'll be health benefits in the process. how do i keep that from entering into the equation? it sucks that sometimes there are selfish reasons to do good things.

so, i've been thinking: maybe the first thing i'm supposed to learn is that only God can sanctify my will.

and maybe the second thing is that this - not just lent, but life itself - isn't about self-control or self-talk. it's about submission.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've often wondered about that as well - "I'm going to give up buying coffee for Lent..it'll save me soooo much money!" It's hard to avoid thinking that way.

Lent understood as self-denial, in which we sacrifice something for ourselves in order to give to those less fortunate, has always intrigued me. Is that following in the true spirit of Lent?

~m said...

well, it's closer to the true spirit of lent than not doing anything . . . but i think the point (historically) has been to prepare ourselves for participating with Christ in His death and resurrection.