offend someone today . . .

. . . at least you'll know you're doing something.

also, start reading larknews, 'cause i simply can't quote all the funny stories for you. but here's one:

church celebrates fifty years of peace through irrelevance
cincinnati - rolling hills christian church has spent fifty years diligently cultivating a good neighbor image, and this week they celebrated their spiritual irrelevance and moral acquiescence with a sunday morning festival.

"we get along perfectly with everybody in the community," said pastor james doheny before climbing into the dunk tank. "peace is our value of choice."
during the celebration the mayor lauded the church for being "a friend of the entire city."

"there's not one negative thing that could be said about this church, and the citizens of cincinnati appreciate that," he said.

doheny thanked the congregation through tears, and promised to lead the church toward "fifty more years of benign accommodation."

go and do likewise. or, you know, not.