some interesting developments

on saturday night, i attended vespers at an orthodox church. there was something stirring and powerfully beautiful about the service. even though they did try to convert us. i think i'll go back some time. it wasn't just the nostalgia factor that was nice.

i slept in yesterday and just missed my train, so i ended up going to steve's church. this may sound silly, but it's nice to have people of different ethnicities in a service. kensington road church is a very gentle place, filled with kind people. not just friendly, you know? it was great to worship with them, even if i was worried about cramping steve's style. it's occured to me recently that the way i've invaded his group of friends, though now welcome, may have been hard for him to take initially. i should apologize for that or something.

kevin and i had a brilliant brainstorm today, giving the world conclusive proof: God has lunch at wendy's, guys! at least He did today. it may just be a monday thing. anyway, since i'm a biblical studies major and he's in systematic theology, kevin and i share a frustration with practicum prospects. then this occured to us: what if we put together and then teach an evening class at our college? we got super excited and started talking details. we'd be focussing on hermeneutics - a basic "how do i read my bible" kinda course. we should have a spiritual theology major on board, and steve is the natural choice. we'd be looking at winter '07, and advertising to churches nearby.

we drove back to school, ran into steve, and shared our idea with him. then we ran up and talked to prof mealey. he liked it. SO the next step is to put together a formal proposal to sell mealey, knudtson and (potentially) peasgood on it. wow, if this works out as envisioned, it should be amazing.

later in the afternoon, i had a difficult conversation in which someone (who barely knows me, by the way) diagnosed some of my theological questions - particularly on the issue of women and ministry, something i've really been wrestling with - as fear and doubt. to me, assuming so is intellectual suicide. anyway, apparently i'm just trying to excuse myself from doing God's will. i could mock this for pages and pages, but the reality is, it really hurt. i have legitimate struggles - not just intellectual ones but heart and soul, flesh and blood stuff. hearing it minimized was humiliating. i'm sure this guy meant well, but his good intentions mean little to me right now. thankfully, i didn't stand alone against him: a friend of mine defended and supported me, reiterating his respect for me. i came out of the experience hurt and frustrated, but also more secure in our friendship.

so, it's been an interesting (the MOST non-commital word ever!) few days. up, mostly, with a little down. but i'm doing better in my heart, and i feel realer than i have in a while. always good.