wow

"if you believe in God, you go to heaven when you die. if you don't, you go to north korea."
~pastor lee, a former prisoner of north korea

edited to add:
sometimes profs know what they're doing, eh? check out what we had to memorize for the old testament final: this is no easy text . . . especially if you're going to try and live it. after spending an hour with the passage, i'm definitely tempted to give it a try. "nothing you desire can compare with her."

have you ever . . .

. . . caught yourself surfing the internet and asking yourself, "ok, where do i find the love?" which is weird, hey, because i feel pretty secure in the love i've got right now. anyway.

. . . still found things funny after you realized they didn't describe you after all?


. . . heard an argument and agreed with both sides? and disagreed with both sides?

marcus: my mum wants me to sing it. it'll make her happy.
will: look, mate, nothing you do can make your mum happy, all right? not in the long term. she has to do that for herself. what i'm saying is, the important thing is to make yourself feel happy.
marcus: i've tried just making myself happy. she's tried making herself happy. it doesn't work. you need other people to make you happy.
will: but that's just it. if other people can make you happy then they can also make you unhappy. what, you think those people out there are going to make you happy?

. . . just realized it's amazing to be alive even when you're exhausted and overwhelmed and unsure and . . . oh! yay, today!!!! yay!!!

bad news/good news

so it begins: homelessness is effectively outlawed in calgary.

in other news: maybe i'm growing up. and growing into something cool. i'm hoping it's in the general direction of Christlikeness.

"somehow life is hallowed because God did it, too."
~michelle

laurel beggin' hardy for a gun

a) hanging out with steve and kristin (at the same time) is inherently funny
b) stole pie
c) been converted (still scared, trying to be brave)
d) love my friends
e) angered and hurt by gossip
f) pretended i could pull an all-nighter
g) have serious doubts about my monotheism*
h) enjoyed that ross insists on sharing his music with me
i) tried to keep ross and kevin from hanging out
j) "finished" papers
k) cried multiple times during seder*
l) made meatloaf and casserole (officially a mom?)
m) is for mara who is so so so exhausted

* i'm not trying to minimize these by listing them so quick. truth is that they were/are both really big moments. something's going on inside my soul and i'm starting to notice it in my heart. "purity of heart is to love one thing." (kierkegaard's got something to say.) just want to love God with a pure heart.

it runs in the family

literally laughed out loud just now.

i sent out an email:

hi, everyone!
i would apologize for the mass email . . .
i have finally secured a cell phone with a number attached to it . . .
part of the melodrama i have spared you resulted in my losing everyone's phone number except the few i have memorized. btw, natalie, it's been 14 years and i haven't forgotten yours yet! momanddad are safe, too . . .

thanks for being someone who talks to me sometimes!
~m

my mom responded today:

Mara dear
Your message brought tears to my eyes! No, it wasn't its content or your reference to us, the creators, but the fact that you are the only person I know who - in salutation- puts a comma between hello and the name of the addressee. I've always thought and felt that that was the correct way in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I have consulted several books that seem vaguely or firmly in my favour, while all the correspondence I receive contradicts me.

Thank you for confirming that I'm grammatically/punctuationally correct. It really means a lot to me!

Love,
Luisa, your mom

PS Well, this doesn't excuse your giving me false hope for a Sunday morning chat, or that you haven't returned my Monday call. But this is another story.

bwahaha. and hee hee. and tee hee, even. gotta love that lady.

great expectations

walkin' on styrofoam . . .

. . . whoa, and it's time to feel good!

in other news, i'm the strangest combination of a tired college student, an overjoyed little girl, a lovesick puppy, a curious scholar, an impatient graduand, a reluctant dust-jacket processor, and a nostalgic lover of God.

today is the eve of something really big for me, a season that will be set aside in a special way. i wonder what that will mean, and part of me is so excited to start. another part is terrified.

anyway, as i write here, i hope that we can both learn and be formed in the days and months to come.

thanks for reading this. it means so much to me.