. . . but i flatter myself.
go to my room and i close my eyes
i make believe that i have a new life
i don't believe you when you say that
everything will be wonderful some day
promises mean everything
when you're little and the world is so big
i just don't understand how
you can smile with all those tears in your eyes
when you tell me everything is wonderful now
~everclear, "wonderful"
don't know, that's just my song today.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
faith
faith has been inspiring me lately. she talked about lent and she also quoted this:
and Jesus said unto them, "and who do you say that I am?"
they replied, "you are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed."
and Jesus replied, "what?"
thinking of lent, i thought "i should give up scrabble." (where "scrabble" really means "a particular sin i've been struggling with and, usually, not struggling enough against) then i remembered: lent is about giving up extraneous pleasures for a season, so that i can better focus. but if it's something that i know distracts me or (worse!) divides me from God all year round, that's not really something that should wait, right?
and Jesus said unto them, "and who do you say that I am?"
they replied, "you are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed."
and Jesus replied, "what?"
thinking of lent, i thought "i should give up scrabble." (where "scrabble" really means "a particular sin i've been struggling with and, usually, not struggling enough against) then i remembered: lent is about giving up extraneous pleasures for a season, so that i can better focus. but if it's something that i know distracts me or (worse!) divides me from God all year round, that's not really something that should wait, right?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
ssss
my sissy: available for public consumption - just be careful with those pokey elbows! ioana has beautiful pics and pretty words on-line. go now. go fast. come back when you're ready.my school: lovely - at least the parts in class. love my ethics class so much. also, greek. also, prayer. also, history of Christianity. enjoying school, yo.
my sanity: waning - as the above comment might suggest. am encouraged to know that rousseau was crazy, too. so, i'm in good company.
my soul: hopeful and joyful - by God's grace. read my bible last night (which is getting to be a habit), and this hit me right between the eyes:
i know, o LORD, that a man's life is not his own;
it is not for man to direct his steps.
correct me, LORD, but only with justice--
not in your anger,
lest you reduce me to nothing.
~ jer 10:23,24
notably, decided to go beyond memorizing those verses (though that's a new thing i'm doing) but also to meditate on it all day long. will update as to success/effects of this endeavour.
my sleep: imminent and oh-so-necessary.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
heresy and retribution (in that order)
i took a quiz . . . the result has fun big words:
you scored as chalcedon compliant. congratulations, you're not a heretic. you believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. officially approved in AD 451.
chalcedon compliant - 100% - and i even know what it means!
pelagianism - 92% - "yeah!" for issues with original sin!
monophysitism - 33% - and i even know what it means!
monarchianism - 33% - yeah, no clue
apollanarian - 25% - i'm supposed to know what this means . . .
nestorianism - 25% - i get the feeling i'm supposed to know this one, too
donatism - 8% - ooh! this one's interesting. does sin affect sacraments?
adoptionist - 8% - my favourite heresy of all time!
docetism - 0% - i seem to know what this means
arianism - 0% - not for me
gnosticism - 0% - not for me
albigensianism - 0% - this word must be made up
modalism - 0% - ice, vapour, and water, my foot!
socinianism - 0% - this is unfamiliar . . .
are you a heretic? created with quizfarm.com
we finished off woody allen's "crimes and misdemeanors" in ethics today . . . and i've been thinking a lot about forgiveness, retribution, and conscience. in the concluding scene, allen's character says that a guilty man will eventually turn himself in, betrayed by his own conscience. in the absence of God, he posits, man must be his own judge. the notion that man decides right and wrong for himself is not new, of course, but that's not entirely what allen is suggesting. no, what he proposes is that man must punish himself. that - again - in the absence of God, we must hold ourselves accountable and seek retribution not only for the sins committed against us, but for those committed by us.
interesting.
lately, i've been struggling with forgiveness, see. apparently martin luther did, too, 'cause he was never sure that he was repentant enough, sorry enough. my trouble is somewhat different. it is this: i often feel ("feel" being the operative word) that i must confess to someone in order to be forgiven. it is easier for me to feel (there's that word again!) forgiven if i hear someone say, "i know you hurt me. i forgive you." and there isn't always someone to go to, 'cause not all my stupid decisions hurt people. and some hurt people in very indirect ways, which might be awkward to talk about.
(hey, remember when my writing was clear and concise. i miss that.)
when woody allen (as cliff) says that man must be his own judge, in the absence of God, it kinda clicks for me: i don't live in the absence of God. none of us do (imho), but i'm supposed to conscious of that, right? so, what's this need to secure my forgiveness/redemption externally? it's forgetting that God is enough. dayenu, friends. that's all i have to say.
anyway. oh, and by the way, mia farrow is in "crimes and misdemeanors" (she and woody allen were married at the time) and i totally didn't recognize her. the whole time, i was all "who is that?!?!?" she was daisy in "great gatsby" and jacqueline in "death on the nile", but i far preferred her in "the last unicorn", wherein she voiced amalthea. they're doing a remake, btw. due out this year!
you scored as chalcedon compliant. congratulations, you're not a heretic. you believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. officially approved in AD 451.
chalcedon compliant - 100% - and i even know what it means!
pelagianism - 92% - "yeah!" for issues with original sin!
monophysitism - 33% - and i even know what it means!
monarchianism - 33% - yeah, no clue
apollanarian - 25% - i'm supposed to know what this means . . .
nestorianism - 25% - i get the feeling i'm supposed to know this one, too
donatism - 8% - ooh! this one's interesting. does sin affect sacraments?
adoptionist - 8% - my favourite heresy of all time!
docetism - 0% - i seem to know what this means
arianism - 0% - not for me
gnosticism - 0% - not for me
albigensianism - 0% - this word must be made up
modalism - 0% - ice, vapour, and water, my foot!
socinianism - 0% - this is unfamiliar . . .
are you a heretic? created with quizfarm.com
we finished off woody allen's "crimes and misdemeanors" in ethics today . . . and i've been thinking a lot about forgiveness, retribution, and conscience. in the concluding scene, allen's character says that a guilty man will eventually turn himself in, betrayed by his own conscience. in the absence of God, he posits, man must be his own judge. the notion that man decides right and wrong for himself is not new, of course, but that's not entirely what allen is suggesting. no, what he proposes is that man must punish himself. that - again - in the absence of God, we must hold ourselves accountable and seek retribution not only for the sins committed against us, but for those committed by us.
interesting.
lately, i've been struggling with forgiveness, see. apparently martin luther did, too, 'cause he was never sure that he was repentant enough, sorry enough. my trouble is somewhat different. it is this: i often feel ("feel" being the operative word) that i must confess to someone in order to be forgiven. it is easier for me to feel (there's that word again!) forgiven if i hear someone say, "i know you hurt me. i forgive you." and there isn't always someone to go to, 'cause not all my stupid decisions hurt people. and some hurt people in very indirect ways, which might be awkward to talk about.
(hey, remember when my writing was clear and concise. i miss that.)
when woody allen (as cliff) says that man must be his own judge, in the absence of God, it kinda clicks for me: i don't live in the absence of God. none of us do (imho), but i'm supposed to conscious of that, right? so, what's this need to secure my forgiveness/redemption externally? it's forgetting that God is enough. dayenu, friends. that's all i have to say.
anyway. oh, and by the way, mia farrow is in "crimes and misdemeanors" (she and woody allen were married at the time) and i totally didn't recognize her. the whole time, i was all "who is that?!?!?" she was daisy in "great gatsby" and jacqueline in "death on the nile", but i far preferred her in "the last unicorn", wherein she voiced amalthea. they're doing a remake, btw. due out this year!
Monday, January 16, 2006
easily misunderstood
k, don't take this the wrong way. promise?
i need to hear the words. promise???
ok, well, some people have atheist friends. it's true! moreover, it's exciting! i mean, they don't just pick some token atheist and befriend him/her for some devious (read: evangelistic) purpose. they just have friends who don't love God. and those friends make for amazing conversations, a whole lot of self-exploration, and - to be perfectly honest - fun pub-runs. i don't have friends like that in calgary, which is a big BOOOOOO! in my book. BUT, i realized yesterday, i do have my mom. not in calgary, i mean, but still.
so, i was talking to her yesterday before church, and i ended up asking myself, "what would my life be like if i gave of myself indiscriminately?" chew on that for the next sixty seconds, k?
also, apparently shameless g.mango plugs get me long distance phone calls! AND, for the record, non-atheist friends can be awesome, too.
i need to hear the words. promise???
ok, well, some people have atheist friends. it's true! moreover, it's exciting! i mean, they don't just pick some token atheist and befriend him/her for some devious (read: evangelistic) purpose. they just have friends who don't love God. and those friends make for amazing conversations, a whole lot of self-exploration, and - to be perfectly honest - fun pub-runs. i don't have friends like that in calgary, which is a big BOOOOOO! in my book. BUT, i realized yesterday, i do have my mom. not in calgary, i mean, but still.
so, i was talking to her yesterday before church, and i ended up asking myself, "what would my life be like if i gave of myself indiscriminately?" chew on that for the next sixty seconds, k?
also, apparently shameless g.mango plugs get me long distance phone calls! AND, for the record, non-atheist friends can be awesome, too.
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