one of those things . . .

the best moments are the ones that take you by surprise. the more i expect awesomeness, the less it impresses me.

the tehillah monday refuge conference was this weekend, and i went to the friday, saturday, and monday night sessions. friday night was neat . . . steve osmond has been making sense to me lately. why, yes, that does scare me . . . why do you ask? worship on monday night was amazing . . . even though it definitely brought to mind stuff that needs fixing.

but saturday was the neatest of all. i'm not sure why tim neufeld (starfield dude) felt the need to say this, but he talked about old hymns and how they remind him of that first time he really felt the Holy Spirit while he was worshipping . . . and he went into this song.

for Thou, o Lord, art high above all the earth
Thou art exalted far above all gods
for Thou, o Lord, art high above all the earth
Thou art exalted far above all gods

and i was all "hmm . . . this sounds familiar. but it couldn't be, could it?"

then the chorus came

i exalt Thee
i exalt Thee
i exalt Thee
o Lord

i exalt Thee
i exalt Thee
i exalt Thee
o Lord

i was saying to jeremy and steve the day before that being sentimental was so important to me. i had thought it was such a shallow thing . . . but the truth is that i hold on to things: to letters and gifts and leaves and random doodles . . . to memories . . . to songs. the man i will marry, if indeed i ever do, has to cherish the little things.

God remembers the song i sang to Him when i first fell to my knees before Him. He remembers that i prayed, "i am Yours" and sang, "i exalt Thee." He is so the perfect One for me.

i think i know . . .

i'm figuring out what home is . . . slowly but surely.
i think it may involve tea and honesty and laughter.

for me, anyway.

as always . . .

. . . nellie has inspired me.

here i go again . . . this time for real. 'cause a lot of cool stuff is going on, and it'd suck not to remember it.

except the library closes in 10 minutes. k, so . . . about that procrastination . . .

back, maybe

i haven't written in months. perhaps i've gotten tired of trying to put words to this. the good and the bad . . . both seem beyond description. how much more so the awesome and the beautiful?

remember:

jaw pop

two things . . . faithfulness and irony

i like that God i serve. major shea asked us to come in on monday. God's taking care of me. no need to panic. God is in control.

reading "purpose-driven life on the way home":
Sometimes . . . God turns a strength into a weakness in order to use us even more. Jacob was a manipulator who spent his life scheming and then running from the consequences. One night he wrestled with God and said, "I'm not letting go until you bless me." God said, "All right," but then he grabbed Jacob's thigh and dislocated his hip. What is the significance of that?
God touched Jacob's strength (the thigh muscle is the strongest in the body) and turned it into a weakness. From that day forward, Jacob walked with a limp so he could never run away again. It forced him to lean on God whether he liked it or not. If you want God to bless you and use you greatly, you must be willing to walk with a limp the rest of your life, because God uses weak people.

given the limp i've had lately - the result of a failure of common sense, not a wrestling match with an angel - this seemed apropos.

more emode results

Soul Mate


Who needs a fling when what you want is the whole fairytale: long walks on the beach, up-all-night conversations, and watching sunrises/sunsets in each other's arms. You're probably a picky dater who doesn't connect with just anyone. Sure a strong intellectual streak, loyalty, and a great sense of humor are terrific selling points. But if your dates can't savor romance like you do, it might be the perfect match you're dreaming of. You're hoping to find your other half, that one person who can finish your sentences, someone who really 'gets' your inner emotions. And until you find them, you probably don't mind flying solo every now and then. That's because deep down, you know that being with the wrong someone is just an obstacle to being with your one-and-only. So even as you're reading this and thinking about how to find them, know that somewhere out there, they're probably wondering the same about you. It's just a matter of time.