two things . . . faithfulness and irony

i like that God i serve. major shea asked us to come in on monday. God's taking care of me. no need to panic. God is in control.

reading "purpose-driven life on the way home":
Sometimes . . . God turns a strength into a weakness in order to use us even more. Jacob was a manipulator who spent his life scheming and then running from the consequences. One night he wrestled with God and said, "I'm not letting go until you bless me." God said, "All right," but then he grabbed Jacob's thigh and dislocated his hip. What is the significance of that?
God touched Jacob's strength (the thigh muscle is the strongest in the body) and turned it into a weakness. From that day forward, Jacob walked with a limp so he could never run away again. It forced him to lean on God whether he liked it or not. If you want God to bless you and use you greatly, you must be willing to walk with a limp the rest of your life, because God uses weak people.

given the limp i've had lately - the result of a failure of common sense, not a wrestling match with an angel - this seemed apropos.

more emode results

Soul Mate


Who needs a fling when what you want is the whole fairytale: long walks on the beach, up-all-night conversations, and watching sunrises/sunsets in each other's arms. You're probably a picky dater who doesn't connect with just anyone. Sure a strong intellectual streak, loyalty, and a great sense of humor are terrific selling points. But if your dates can't savor romance like you do, it might be the perfect match you're dreaming of. You're hoping to find your other half, that one person who can finish your sentences, someone who really 'gets' your inner emotions. And until you find them, you probably don't mind flying solo every now and then. That's because deep down, you know that being with the wrong someone is just an obstacle to being with your one-and-only. So even as you're reading this and thinking about how to find them, know that somewhere out there, they're probably wondering the same about you. It's just a matter of time.

never know why

i had the most amazing day yesterday, and i don't know why.

i was got up late and forgot my lunch . . .
i took a box of toys over to the office from the angel tag tree at sobey's . . .
i got to the office to find two yummy Christmas presents on my desk . . .
i chatted with nim - that NEVER happens. it was so nice for a change!!!
lara showed up to work so she drove me to the warehouse . . .
i helped katheryn give out adopt-a-family hampers all day . . .
i found hamper #1395!!!!! me!!!!
i registered people for two hours . . .
i called cabs . . .
i talked to kids . . . and even stuck my tongue out!
i tried to talk brendan into coming to carolling that evening . . .
i went to carolling . . . and sang!
i put people's shoes by the fire while they skated . . .
i spent time on a tire swing . . .
i drank hot chocolate . . .
i drove home with peter and we actually, you know, spoke . . .
i held his wendy's . . .
i gave him his Christmas present . . .
i got home at 11:30 or so . . .

good day. just goooood.

no joke!

i just took the emode test about my Christmas theme song.
no joke, the result was:


O Holy Night

Holiday parties and gift giving are great, but you honor the true meaning of Christmas, too. Tradition is probably important to you - whether you find it in religion or in your family's annual rites of passage. In fact, it's your spiritual center that might direct your social calendar - making sure you never miss the annual pageant, make the time to spend with loved ones, or just set some moments aside to enjoy that feel-good holiday cheer. These are the sorts of things that take precedence for you during the season.

Sure you like a good gift and love the feeling of giving someone the perfect present. But let everyone else work up a sweat at the shopping malls. You're working on quality time with those who mean the most. And if you keep at it, that lesson will probably rub off on those around you. So if loved ones need a gentle reminder of what the holidays are really about, why not share your theme song with them? Whether you're tied to its message or not, its gentle, powerful, "O holy night, the stars are brightly shining . . . " is sure to get them where it counts.

advice

love him, pray for him, but block him!

that was justin's advice on what to do with dear, dear mark. it's so hard with that boy. he's so immature, so ARGHHHH!!!!

yikes.

instead . . .

instead of resenting the fact that God has to use strangers to encourage me instead of those closest to me, i'm going to be grateful that He shows me His faithfulness in such unexpected ways.

and! oh, and my mom called *me* for advice on how to deal with a thing with corini! she called me for comfort and direction! dude, i'm going to cry!!!!!!

life is so weird. but i can hear the laughter from the other side.

teena reminded me . . .

i should journal. so here goes.

i'm tired of worrying. i'm tired of screwing up and being poor and being lonely and being sad and being tired. i'm tired of being tired. i'm tired of struggling. i'm tired of hearing "God will provide" when no one in my life seems to want to be God's way of doing that. i'm tired of sleepless nights. i'm tired of crying. i'm tired of bottling up. i'm tired. i'm tired. i'm tired!!!!!