confession #29

i just have to confess this: i check everyone's blog every time i update mine. i don't always read with undivided attention, but i always check it out.

even nav's which hasn't been updated in two weeks, skoch's which he hasn't touched in five weeks, and fred's, where, as predicted, i've been staring at that one picture for seven weeks! i mean, you can just hear the wind whistling through the ghosttowns i love to visit! i keep checking their blogs on the off chance that they've elbowed their way online. unlikely, since those three are on urban mission week right now, and will be back at camp for another two weeks afterward.

there are other folks who, to be fair, have been blogging a tad more recently. but you always want what you can't have. ain't that always the way.

everything's fuzzy . . .

i'm sorta at a point where any amount of organization kinda seems impossible. sorting my laundry, getting paperwork done, anything. my brain just says, "i don't think i can handle that right now." and yet there are things that are so clear to me. like . . . well, my iq is apparently 144. so that's nice. but kinda useless. i don't know, man. just fuzzy. restless and lazy at the same time. anticipating and yet hoping time will drag on. it's weird.

i hope this old train breaks down . . .

borrowing is fun . . .

when you have nothing exciting to report (or you've already reported the excitement), it's nice to resort to borrowing from other blogs. in this case, faith inspired me:

question: if you were going to die in a week, what ten books (fiction or non-) would you leave the world wrapped up and tied with a bow, that does one or both of these things: 1) tells the world about you and what you stood for in some way; or 2) helps make the world a better place. they don't have to be in any particular order.

the thing is, i don't have an answer yet. but i thought i'd get you thinking about it, while i work on it, too. answers to come. within a week, i suppose, since according to this hypothetical, that's all the time i have left.

joy

my sissy posted a comment! that makes me happy :) see? :D happiness!!!

in other news, tehillah was great last night. i can't really put my finger on why. but in the category of EXCELLENT news, alex got a new job!!!! i'm very excited about this (evidently) because loving (or even liking) your job is a nice thing. i met two women who are going to be in residence next year! they're fun. and i'm still sick. it's been two weeks. that's what's going on around here. now i have to go have a vision and a mission for residence. 'scuse me while i do my job.

no wonder i don't know what i mean half the time

borrowed this . . . it's fun:
you can babelize stuff by translating it in and out of various languages. or you can get this site to do it for you. par example:

my new favourite song loses some of its . . . charm when i need this old train to break down becomes i have the necessity of this old rupture of the series ignited here

and jane austen may have seemed complicated before - it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife - but it seems to survive babelization: the recognized truth is one, man simple in the possession of the great wealth to be must an internal demand of the part of a woman.

and theology can get messed up, too: i am saved by grace, through faith becomes they had happened with the beauty, of that the faith he them aids. ahem.

and the theme verse for residence this year - the reality, however, is found in Christ - might not work as well if it claimed that the truth nevertheless is like the Christian! the truth would be in very grave danger were that the case! (it's german, by the way, that changes "Christ" to "Christian" . . . troubling.)

this is too fun for words. it is safeguard of equally for the words.
i'm going to stop now. hour i apprehension.
see you later! they see more later! (ooh . . . they do?! crazy!)

breakdown

on tuesday night, i took the greyhound from red deer to calgary. returning from camp is never easy, and on the drive to red deer i heard a song that helped me better understand why it's so hard to leave:

breakdown
jack johnson

i hope this old train breaks down then i could take a walk around
see what there is to see, time is just a melody
with all the people in the street walking fast as their feet
can take them, i just roll through town
and though my window's got a view, well the frame i'm looking through
seems to have no concern for now
so for now i

i need this here old train to breakdown
oh please just let me please just breakdown

[snip]

i got to break on down
but i can't stop now

so, first of all, i love brett because he introduces me to random things i wouldn't otherwise be exposed to. and a lot of that random stuff is amazing. like this song. secondly, this song is so where i am right now. wishing life would slow down, and willing to hope for a breakdown, but not willing to actually stop, myself. when the expressway closes down and i have to take side roads, i get to drive into the sun, enjoy laughter and prayer and tears. that's what i'm about.

just fyi.

back from camp

i have lots of thoughts i want to share, but no time to type them just yet. so, here's the deal: i'll journal them tonight, type them in here tomorrow, and then you can read. be patient with me . . . i'm trying to grow.