i'm out.

ack. so people may actually read this now. that kinda freaks me out.

give me tiiiime . . . to realize my criiiiime . . .

so, my mom - being amazing, thoughtful, amazingly thoughtful, and ambitious on my behalf - has subscribed me to "time magazine" once again. it's helped me realize how out of touch with the world i have become. i mean, i sort of knew that. last week i was ready to puke if i saw another Christian. but that soon passed. see, puking was not the solution. no - the solution lies in reading. so i read some jules verne, and now i'm reading "time magazine". who knows? i may even move on to real people one of these days.

one can only hope.

one of those things . . .

the best moments are the ones that take you by surprise. the more i expect awesomeness, the less it impresses me.

the tehillah monday refuge conference was this weekend, and i went to the friday, saturday, and monday night sessions. friday night was neat . . . steve osmond has been making sense to me lately. why, yes, that does scare me . . . why do you ask? worship on monday night was amazing . . . even though it definitely brought to mind stuff that needs fixing.

but saturday was the neatest of all. i'm not sure why tim neufeld (starfield dude) felt the need to say this, but he talked about old hymns and how they remind him of that first time he really felt the Holy Spirit while he was worshipping . . . and he went into this song.

for Thou, o Lord, art high above all the earth
Thou art exalted far above all gods
for Thou, o Lord, art high above all the earth
Thou art exalted far above all gods

and i was all "hmm . . . this sounds familiar. but it couldn't be, could it?"

then the chorus came

i exalt Thee
i exalt Thee
i exalt Thee
o Lord

i exalt Thee
i exalt Thee
i exalt Thee
o Lord

i was saying to jeremy and steve the day before that being sentimental was so important to me. i had thought it was such a shallow thing . . . but the truth is that i hold on to things: to letters and gifts and leaves and random doodles . . . to memories . . . to songs. the man i will marry, if indeed i ever do, has to cherish the little things.

God remembers the song i sang to Him when i first fell to my knees before Him. He remembers that i prayed, "i am Yours" and sang, "i exalt Thee." He is so the perfect One for me.

i think i know . . .

i'm figuring out what home is . . . slowly but surely.
i think it may involve tea and honesty and laughter.

for me, anyway.

as always . . .

. . . nellie has inspired me.

here i go again . . . this time for real. 'cause a lot of cool stuff is going on, and it'd suck not to remember it.

except the library closes in 10 minutes. k, so . . . about that procrastination . . .

back, maybe

i haven't written in months. perhaps i've gotten tired of trying to put words to this. the good and the bad . . . both seem beyond description. how much more so the awesome and the beautiful?

remember:

jaw pop