"wish you were here"

i once heard an uber-cheesy song about how this guy can't seem to enjoy a sunset or a groovy song or life itself, 'cause he has no one to share it with. and the point of the song, i think, is he's apologizing to beauty and goodness for his stubborn refusal to appreciate them on their own merits. it's one of those, "damn, i've been letting my whiny singleness poison my life, and i should maybe stop that" type ditties. it's a surprisingly sparsely-populated genre.

so, a lot of times, amazing experiences in life make me wish someone was there. sometimes a genericsomeone, sometimes a genericspecialsomeone, but most often specificsomeones. liiiike, "wow, corina would just love this..." or "if mon were here she'd be laughing her ass off!" or "what would ross think of this, i wonder?".... or what have you. i think that's cool, to a point. i like that my travels don't divorce me from the people i care about. they're a part of my world where'er i may go.

in "shall we dance?", susan saradon says that people get married because they want a witness to their lives. i think that goes for tight friendships, too. and i think it's beautiful, really... as long as secret moments endure. i think they can, you know? i have great hope. because i keep experiencing things i want to treasure in my heart and not wear on my sleeve. things i couldn't talk about even if i wanted to. things that wink at me as they defy my camera lens. flashes of light and glimpses of grace. goodness and beauty that demand to be appreciated on their own merits. they are not empoverished by your absence... not the way i used to think, anyway.

so, you witnesses of my existence, know that your role has changed. you are vital to me, not because you lend legitimacy to this little life of mine, but because you bring new light in. because you are good and beautiful, and your presence is a joy to me.

*that's* why i wish you were here.