in love

when you love, say not that God is in your heart
say rather that you are in the heart of God

part i: odd

ross' gift: the trophy, the note, and the necklace.
finishing my paper.
scrabulating with dave.
a pig and a phone call from michelle.
listening to "did galileo pray?"
finding words to pray.
laughing at myself.
making a card with pat.

i started this day feeling so weird. once the tired faded, i still couldn't place the strangeness within. i went about my business, administering meds, drinking my shake, looking at the paper... and then it suddenly occurred to me: i think i'm happy.

it's happened again since. and jiminy finally synchronized himself to me and hummed vivaldi's spring (allegro) in my ears. and it was just right.

part ii: i don't know what kind of girl i am

lying on the couch, so tired that my eyes hurt. bringing my sore lids together... and in the darkness hearing pat butter her toast. what a lovely sound: a knife scraping against crisp bread. somehow beautiful.

parting from cori and james with "juno" in my mind, damp cheeks, and a full heart. knowing the blanket i'm making will keep them warm.

part iii: awed

watching the candidates' debates and realizing that the things people care about are simple: making ends meet, taking care of their children, good roads, good food, and the freedom to choose their path. in the course of looking out for all that, our government has to think about the implications of bhutto's assassination, the development of alternative fuels, and the fate of every worker in china.

and God's like that, too: the things i care about are small and important. it is for Him to reflect on the enormous and important. the two are not as discreet as all that, though. they're deeply connected, which is why God invites to me to gaze beyond my own needs, into eternity. giving someone a cup of water has something to do with scores of angels reciting the triagion in united worship.

all that I promise is strength for this day,
rest for my worker
light on your way
I give you truth when you need it,
My help from above
undying friendship, My unfailing love

picking out which prayers to use tonight, i quickly chose the ones to be prayed before reading scripture and before sleep, but hesitated over the one to be prayed after work. "did i work today?" i asked myself. somehow that question feels like a very good sign.

like, somehow, rest and contentment can be found in the midst of much responsibility. wait, not just "can be found"; are found, even by me! seriously!

pick a road, decide
[are you] a plane or a train or a bride?
decide, decide...
Your love makes me move at the speed of trees...

i'm so in love.

when you love, say not that God is in your heart
say rather that you are in the heart of God