wonder seven

[phos kai hudor]
it’s not entirely surprising that i never noticed it before: this is the first time my bathroom has a window at just the right angle, and the first time i’ve consistently taken afternoon showers. the sunshine pours in and i pull the curtain back to give it room. the shower on, beams of water begin to glow gold and silver. I hold my hand under the stream, and it shines, too. my laugh echoes against the tiles as i turn my hand over and wiggle my fingers. so this is what it feels like to be literally bathed in light!

water is the gentlest and most powerful force i know. it cuts and erodes. it caresses and cleanses. drenches, drips, quenches, soaks, dillutes, trickles, floods, destroys, builds, freezes, boils, drizzles, crashes, foams, buoys, pushes and pulls. it brings nourishment, healing, and terror. it’s a home, a highway, a grave.

and light... it’s just as capricious. how can that which brings sight also bring blindness? the eyes are unequipped to take in all that light offers. overwhelmed, even when enlightened. maybe especially then.
and the way the two interplay: the way water bends light and seems to break my straw. crimson sunrises, purple sunsets, clouds lit up with fire, rainbows inspiring adventure, reflections on the sandy floor of a lake. feeding a tree together.

[pater]
he's no longer a meter taller than me, but still a giant. all the rides on his shoulders, the discussions about politics and relativity, the walks, the games of twenty questions while corini and mom were skating, the jokes, the safety that comes when dad is there... they do not fade even now.

[artos]
crackling accompanies the release of steam. the smell of yeast and comfort escapes as the crust crumbles. thick slices fall slowly and heavily as the knife moves back and forth, revealing a core of warmth and wholeness. each crumb satisfies without satisfying. breaking, sharing these slabs of flour, milk, and egg around the table feels like intimacy, and the very word fills my mouth and heart with ache: bread.

[eros]
a simple love scene with no ridiculous dialogue or confused motives. a hand lightly resting on my hip. intertwined fingers. shared breath. attachment that overrides self-interest, filling the heart with a hunger only for presence, belonging, union.

[theos]
oh, God, i have found Your only flaw: You long to speak to us, to make Yourself known... but the metaphors which seek to reveal Your majesty and love and goodness – Your very self – are far too beautiful. they, too, woo us. so smitten with water and light and fathers and bread and lovers, we fail to gaze beyond the shadows and see You.