is something i usually have to work up. i struggle, 'cause i can't get inside the head and heart of someone else very easily.
but there's hurt, you know?
people i know are hurting.
eating disorders.
self-injury.
abandonment.
self-hate.
fear.
i just want to throw up, and cry, and punch something.
all at once.
these hurts have taken on new meaning for me as i've realized how many people around me carry around pain and shame and stuff i've never experienced. sometimes, even though you haven't been through the same experience, you can relate to the struggle. not so here. see, it's not just that the plotline of their lives is vastly different from my own, although that's true. it's that their internal stories are different.
love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." this i can handle. but right now, it's hard to look at life and see how "love never fails" isn't b.s.
2 comments:
I'm with you. If you figure out the "love never fails" bit, let me know. I can understand intellectually that God never fails us, that His plan is best, but I sure can't see it in this world these days. Mostly I just want to scream at Him and tell Him I know a better way...I just wish I could really understand.
for me, it's more an issue of seeing my love "fail", even when it's genuine and when i do everything right.
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