ok, how toronto am i?

as the most liberal person many of my alberta friends have ever met, when i read neely's comment (see below) i thought, "ok, i'll bite."

here's the deal:

You Know You're From Toronto When...

A really great parking spot can move you to tears.
not literally . . . but yeah, you get pretty excited. even if you're not driving :P

You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours.
yeah, no.

You make well over $100,000 and you still can't find a nice place to live.
not myself personally, but this could very well be true if you're looking for something in the old city of toronto. if you're open to boroughs, there are lots of lovely places.

You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags.
FOR DARN SURE.

When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!"
guilty as charged. i got bronchitis one year, and i'm sure the fact that i spent march break hanging out in 10 degree weather in a t-shirt helped that along.

You enjoy watching channel 47 multicultural TV
not the multiculti shows, but yes. AND i still know the song for that channel by heart! "47, in the evening - yes, we've got fun . . . "

You're guaranteed to know at least one person on every episode of Speaker's Corner.
myth. i've never known anyone on that show. just 'cause you're from toronto doesn't mean you know sue. i didn't know sue 'til i moved to alberta. i also don't know bob.

You haven't been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator.
i was 12, but that elevator - though cool - is kinda . . . wrong.

You've had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years.
4 in the last 12 years that i lived in toronto. between me and my sister.

You've partied with at least one of the members of The Kids in the Hall
nopes.

You've fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma
thanks for loading me up with that image . . .

At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver
i can think of one, but i get the joke.

You turn your nose up at any establishment frequented by the S&M crowd. (Scarborough and Mississauga)
yeah, definitely a toronto snob that way.

You never, never, never swim in the lake
word! going in after a volleyball amounts to risking your life.

You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there
didn't know that. fun!

You ever had a birthday party at the Organ Grinder or The Mad Hatter
sorry, no. never had a birthday party anywhere but at home.

You can say "world's tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast
can't say anything ten times fast.

You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River"
so true! i saw a baby carriage in there once, too! no worries - the baby wasn't in it at the time.

You speak better Chinese than French
if only i'd applied myself . . . you know, i was basically in immersion!

The word "cabbagetown" doesn't strike you as particularily amusing
hey! that IS funny! didn't think of it 'til now!

Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you.
yeah, it confuses me. it's in some back alley somewhere!

You know what the bathrooms in the First Canadian Place are REALLY for
'k, now i'm curious.

You don't know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life
SO darn true.

You know the Demic's song "I Wanna Go To New York City" was intended as sarcasm, not a weekend getaway suggestion
never heard of it.

You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight
sushi, yes. the rest i've never sought out, to be honest. :P

For the last time, it's pronounced 'TRONNA'!
actually, i say it "TARANA" (how can something be pronounced with double N's? what does that sound like?)

You consider eye contact a sign of hostility and an invasion of your privacy.
hee. we all need therapy.

It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends.
indeed.

You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus.
it died?? before my time, prolly.

You know someone who went to high school with at least one member of The Barenaked Ladies or RUSH
no, but a philosopher king or two went to my high school . . . before my time. my sissy met him! gerald eaton, i think.

You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one.
i have NEVER heard anyone say it that way, and i'm pretty sure i'd assume they were kidding.

You've taken the vomit comit.
yeah, baby! tightest i've ever held my purse. and, occasionally, my breath.

You can manuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks.
never biked downtown.

You know the difference between souvlaki, moussaka and spanakoptia.
yups.

You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM.
i can't even name three locations!

You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe
guilty.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Toronto.
as we speak. or . . . as i type and you read.

to be fair, most of these refer to the downtown core - the rectangle made by the two subway lines. while my mom and i were taking a walk through a ravine last week, i reflected that many people prolly miss out on the coolest stuff about this city. like the MASSIVE amounts of green space and the genuine cultural exchange. i also love the roads - you can all stop complaining about the dvp and the 401, 'cause calgary sucks for roads by comparison. and i like the way my hair is crazy curly when i'm here . . .

hey, don't get me wrong! as i walked home from the bus stop tonight, i missed my stars, and my mountains, and the dry air of calgary. and i missed my life there most of all. but toronto isn't the cheap kind of mosaic where you throw curry, dim sum, and sushi into a pot and serve it in a on-the-go granola bar so you can eat while you commute. there are streets i don't like - if i have to go down adelaide again on a saturday night, i may cry - but, for the most part, it's a really interesting city. more importantly, just like every other place on this here planet, it has some pretty neat people in it.

like my family. and my old church. and many of the people i went to high school with - some of whom i've forgotten and some of whom i've tried to forget, but most of whom i cherish in some way. as i've been cleaning my parents' basement i've found so many reminders of how precious my time here was. 14 years of my life were spent in this city - all over it. and while i don't see myself moving back any time soon . . . it's still special.